Everyday Junglist
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About me. You know how everyone says to be a successful writer you should focus in one or two areas. I continue to prove them correct.
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Eastern Standard Time (EST) Taunts Arch Rivals Vows it Will Take On Any and All Time Zones “Any Time, Anywhere”
At a press conference in Las Vegas today heavyweight champion time zone of the world Eastern Standard Time (EST) taunted his arch rivals Central, Mountain, and Pacific Time Zones and challenged any and all comers to a winner take all title fight. EST boasted that “it was his time now” and that he would show the entire world that he is “the greatest of all time.” Continuing his tradition of using humor to frustrate and anger his would be opponents he bad mouthed each of his major North American contenders with a constant stream of insults. “Central time is so slow it takes him an extra hour to get out of bed in the morning, how can he even think of having a chance in the ring with the champ. I call time out on his weak ass.” As he spoke he performed his signature “time-out” gesture holding his stiffened right arm down to his side and slowly moving it back and forth like a pendulum. The crowd went bananas and erupted in a torrent of cheers for the champ. At that point EST ripped off his shirt and flexed revealing his chiseled physique and many women in the audience screamed and passed out. The champ kindly offered each woman on site his personal phone number saying "Call me any time and I will show you a good time each and every time."
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Earth
A Simulationists Confession of Faith
Transcriber’s note: The following excerpt was provided to me in 2012 by an anonymous individual as coded material that resisted all attempts at translation. In 2015 a secret key arrived via email which allowed for decryption by symmetric encryption algorithms. The email gave only instructions on how to decode the original coded material and the text below.
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Futurism
Universal Basic Income Opponents Cite Further Enrichment of the Upper Class as a Downside
Universal basic income (UBI) is a social proposal in which all persons in a given population receive a guaranteed income without conditions. (i.e., without a means test or need to work). It is received independently of any other income and what makes it "basic" is the fact that the amount is sufficient to meet a person's basic needs, at or above the poverty line. No country has yet attempted to implement UBI, and it is generally felt that the chance of such a thing happening is only slightly higher than a snowballs in hell. Typically attacks on UBI come from the right, as one would expect, given that UBI is (probably correctly) viewed as the ultimate welfare program. Of course many of these attacks are lazy, illogical, poorly thought through and easily dismantled, it is the right after all. However, there are some that are legitimate and difficult to counter. Surprisingly UBI also comes under attack from the left, and like there right wing counterparts many of these attacks are nonsensical or very weak, or just plain dumb. One attack from the left which is at least hypothetically plausible has to do with income inequality. It suggests that implementing UBI would only increase the enrichmet of the upper class, and further widen the already wide gap between rich and poor. Proponents of this ideas say this would happen because all the poor people who previously had no extra money to spend on "goods" or digital goods would blow their UBI payments in an orgy of spending madness just as soon as they had the money in their greedy little paws.
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Journal
Can an Evil Man* be as Critically Self Aware of his Nature as a Good Man?
Typically it is supposed that all good men possess similar key attributes. They have the ability to rigorously and thoroughly reflect on the nature of themselves. They fully comprehend the impact on others of their decisions and appreciate their role in contributing to or reducing the suffering of others. They feel deeply the emotions needed in order to achieve a correct understanding of these things. Emotions like empathy, sadness, guilt, shame, and others. They recognize that most people seek to maximize their experience of positive emotions and minimize the experience of negative ones. Thus they act in ways which seek to achieve this balance in the greatest number of people. They also recognize that all people are unique and all situations different. The optimum emotional balance for one person in a certain situations may vary with other persons in different circumstances. They are flexible enough to adjust accordingly to those differences and wise enough to understand when a certain balance should be aimed for given the circumstances.
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Psyche
The Power of the Mind/Brain
The brain has been ascribed many abilities it cannot possibly possess from learning, to seeing, to understanding, to knowing, etc. This is the mereological fallacy writ large. Ascribing attributes/characteristics/behaviors to a part or parts of a thing that can only (logically) be applied to the whole thing. Only of a (mostly) whole human person (and some non human animals) with a (mostly) functioning nervous system including a brain can we say they are capable of doing any of those things. Never forget that a brain divorced from a body is a lump of grey matter capable of nothing save a few basic cellular processes and possibly some low level electrochemical (nerve) activity, for a short period of time at least.
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Psyche
Inventor of Trademark ™ and Copyright © Symbols Simultaneously Sued for Trademark Infringement and Copyright Violations
Thomas Frins the recognized pioneer and world leader in the field of symbology for legal applications was sued in federal court last week for both trademark infringement and copyright violations. The suit was brought by Emoticonics Inc., a technology firm that specializes in the development and application of symbolic language. Emoticonics is most well know for inventing the avacado emoji 🍆 which subsequently became the default symbolic representation of the penis in most internet communications.
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Geeks
Dear World Economic Forum
Dear World Economic Forum, You had me worried for a minute there world economic forum. I saw ‘support the middle class’ and ‘reduce income inequality’ and thought maybe the liberals had gotten to you. Once I got to the part about the magic of tax cuts and how they solve every economic and social problem known to man I knew you had only included those as classic leftie head fakes. Nice job not talking at all about who specifically should get the miracle growth creating magic juice shots (aka tax cuts). Obviously they should go to the wealth creators, bankers, financial industry insiders, top economists, CEOs, etc. Basically all the people who make up the membership of the world economic forum. Of course we will want to reduce or eliminate that pesky corporate tax as well. I’ll never understand how anyone could think that asking a company to pay its fair share to contribute to the common good of the people in exchange for the right to operate and turn a profit for itself and its investors could possibly be fair. I mean what the fuck did the people ever do for the corporations. Nothing that’s what, except tax and regulate the fuck out of ‘em. Way to go people, you have hurt poor little corporations feelings, he is going to cry now, are you proud of yourselves, assholes.
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in The Swamp
Mellow Yellow and Orange Crush Maintain Dominant Position in City Public Pool Soda Vending Machines
Perennial also rans of the soda wars Orange Crush and Mellow Yellow somehow managed to remain the most popular offerings of city public pool vending machines despite continuing to see major reductions in every other sector of the soda vending industr. The two sodas also continue to remain at the bottom of almost all surveys of public opinion of soda brands flavor, appearance, and overall appeal. The continued dominance of this microniche by two sodas that have seen much better days has puzzled marketers and industry watchers alike. Soda analyst and author of “Cola wars, How Coke Beat the Stuffing Out of Pepsi and Left it Crying on the Side of the Road like a Little Bitch” Stephen Palmer said of the strange result. “I guess it just goes to show how out of touch city officials are with the tastes of the children and adolescents of the primarily low income families that make up the main users of city public pools. Also, of course many of the larger cities municipal public pool systems locked in multi decade vending machine contracts back in the late 80s when Mellow Yellow and Orange Crush were actually considered semi-respectable soda brands that some people actually liked to drink. Back then many people thought these two brands could be the next Coke and Pepsi. God, we were such idiots. How could we have been so blind?” Les Thompson, 35 year employee of the city of Cleveland and city pool manager for 20 years echoed those sentiments saying “Look we all know Mellow Yellow and Orange Crush are terrible soft drinks. They blow. They look and taste like garbage, but we simply have no choice. The contracts have us locked in until 2030 at the earliest. Sorry kids but water is always available for free out of the fountain by the restroom, when it’s working.”
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in 01
What is Detection?
In the modern food microbiology testing laboratory the word detection and the term detection method have very specific meanings. Both refer to the techniques used to determine the presence/absence of a particular microorganism or microorganisms (typically a pathogen or indicator microorganisms and almost always bacteria) in a given food sample. These presence/absence detection methods are referred to as qualitative detection assays. Quantitative assays are also used and are also (sometimes) referred to as detection methods. These methods allow for a determination of the presence/absence of a particular microorganism or microorganisms and also output an amount of the target microbe(s) present per unit volume/weight. Sometimes, though very rarely, are a qualitative and quantitative method for the same target used to test a given sample.
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Humans
Happy Oil Expropriation Day!
Author's preface: Apologies as I realize this is going to be published a bit late for oil expropriation day, but it could not be helped. The idea to write this story only occurred to me while in the midst of an OE day inspired haze and was quickly forgotten in my post OE day inspired laziness, but then remembered again on the Monday following OE day (today). Which shall forevemer more be known as post OE day Monday, the day of atonement. Apologies and thanks also to Wikipedia from whence I expropriated a good chunk of the history of oil expropriation day
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Wander
