Mellow Yellow and Orange Crush Maintain Dominant Position in City Public Pool Soda Vending Machines

Perennial also rans of the soda wars Orange Crush and Mellow Yellow somehow managed to remain the most popular offerings of city public pool vending machines despite continuing to see major reductions in every other sector of the soda vending industr. The two sodas also continue to remain at the bottom of almost all surveys of public opinion of soda brands flavor, appearance, and overall appeal. The continued dominance of this microniche by two sodas that have seen much better days has puzzled marketers and industry watchers alike. Soda analyst and author of “Cola wars, How Coke Beat the Stuffing Out of Pepsi and Left it Crying on the Side of the Road like a Little Bitch” Stephen Palmer said of the strange result. “I guess it just goes to show how out of touch city officials are with the tastes of the children and adolescents of the primarily low income families that make up the main users of city public pools. Also, of course many of the larger cities municipal public pool systems locked in multi decade vending machine contracts back in the late 80s when Mellow Yellow and Orange Crush were actually considered semi-respectable soda brands that some people actually liked to drink. Back then many people thought these two brands could be the next Coke and Pepsi. God, we were such idiots. How could we have been so blind?” Les Thompson, 35 year employee of the city of Cleveland and city pool manager for 20 years echoed those sentiments saying “Look we all know Mellow Yellow and Orange Crush are terrible soft drinks. They blow. They look and taste like garbage, but we simply have no choice. The contracts have us locked in until 2030 at the earliest. Sorry kids but water is always available for free out of the fountain by the restroom, when it’s working.”

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Author's postscript: Here we go again with another forced addition of meaningless verbiage and garbage simply to meet with Vocal's absurd and ridiculous six hundred word count minimum for publication policy. Notice how I spelled out six hundred instead of just typing a 6 followed by a 0 followed by another 0. This is because I am a professional word count padder thanks to Vocal and their craptacularly dumb rule. The story above is just a little over three hundred words (note again how I typed the number out completely), and sure it is not all that good (note how I typed out it and is instead of using the conjuction it's. Thank you I am very good at this I know. Some would say professional level), but it is decent and at least a little bit funny. At least to me it was funny. Really funny. But then again I have an unususl sense of humor. Or so I am told. Or would be told if I had any friends to tell me such things I imagine. And speaking of imagination it takes a shit ton of it to come up with more stupid shit to say in these ridciulour author's postscripts that I am forced to add too often to stories that are perfectly good at the length they are at. I would venture to say that most are in the tope quartile of quality of all stories published on Vocal. Then again I would say that since I wrote them. Gads, only at five hundred and eighty words. How much longer do I have to drone on and on and on. But did you catch the full type out of 580? Nice right? I did not type it out fully that last time because I had already hit 600 words. Lazy too. lol!