Casey SilverRose
Bio
I’ve been writing stories and performing slam poetry for about six years now. Writing is my escape, so I build worlds and explore them in order to evade the intrusive thoughts that living in such a harsh, dark world inevitably creates.
Stories (5)
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In The First Year After My Brother
Dear Zeke, So it’s been two months and seventeen days since you killed yourself, two months and sixteen days since we found out about it. I’m still pretty mad I think. But overall I’m mostly just numb. Like, I don’t really give a shit anymore; about you, what you did, or about the things in my life in general. I no longer find joy in music or seem to have a passion for writing. And I only just found a book interesting enough to have a real desire to read it. Although one could probably argue that these things were becoming true, if not were already true, long before you killed yourself. Your actions two and a half months ago gave me a reason to respond with when people asked me why I looked sad, lonely, withdrawn or angry. And I don’t know whether to say thank you or fuck you. Thank you for helping me hide my depression, self-harm and poor self-esteem, or fuck you for stealing my thunder. Fuck you for making mom cry and leaving me to hold her together all alone. [Fuck you for making sure no one believes me when I insist that this numbness and anger were present before you killed yourself. That is has always existed in the background of my mind, only coming out to play when my protector is away.]
By Casey SilverRose6 years ago in Families
In The First Year After My Brother
A Eulogy for a Fallen Marine, Son, and Big Brother. This is probably about the thousandth speech I’ve written out and about the millionth I’ve thought up. Writing has never been strictly hard for me, but in this instance it has been nearly impossible. I have been told to write honorably about Zeke, because he’s my big brother, this is his funeral and that’s what funerals are for; to honor the dead and to give closure to the living. The problem is; I don’t feel like honoring Zeke right now. I’m not in that headspace yet. But as a Wordsmith, I am used to playing the acting role at times, putting myself back into the headspace of a past version of me, projecting myself into a future version of me or even attempting to place myself in the mind of another being entirely. So I will try my best to do the right thing and honor my brother with my words today.
By Casey SilverRose6 years ago in Families
