Ahmad Jordan
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Designer and writer
Stories (3)
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How to Cure Baldness The Ancient Egyptian Way!
On October 18, 1990, Homer J. Simpson conquered the ancient problem of male pattern baldness. I say “ancient” because hair loss appears to have been a problem dating back at least to the time of the ancient Egyptians. Probably longer. But I’ll get to that part later. The Simpsons episode I’m talking about is called Simpson and Delilah and finds our hero, Homer, turning to a miracle hair-growth formula called Dimoxinil. The episode probably rang the bell for a lot of men since, by the age of 50, 85% of men begin to bald (according to the American Hair Loss Association). Homer, however, experienced hair loss long before he turned 21, which means for him the problem is genetic. But that’s far from uncommon knowledge since anyone can look that up on Google, just as I have done.
By Ahmad Jordan5 years ago in Lifehack
Turning Water Into Wine
I hear dead people. That, of course, isn’t my line. I’m quoting, albeit with a slight modification, The Sixth Sense, written by embattled writer-director M. Night Shyamalan. But for the record, I do hear dead people. No, seriously, I do. So do you. Dead people are all around us, talking to us, usually through the works and words they left behind, inspiring us. Uncle Tom’s Cabin, for instance: “The longest way must have its close—the gloomiest night will wear on to a morning.” You just heard the words of a dead person. You read them, sure, but as you did so, there was an inner voice in your head; that is the voice of Harriet Beecher Stowe. And here’s her pic. Take a good look because as of now, you’ve officially seen and heard a dead person. So, yes, you see dead people too.
By Ahmad Jordan5 years ago in Geeks
Rotten Phish
Gawd, I hate asking for favors. Hate it. The dictionary will tell you that a favor is “an act of kindness beyond what is due or usual.” That’s not what a favor is. A favor is a stench. It’s an odor. I call it Favor Funk™. I’ve trademarked the phrase because there are days when I feel like I have a monopoly on favors and funk.
By Ahmad Jordan5 years ago in Humans
