Love & Cherish

I saw this picture at an indoor swap meet and was immediately drawn to it. This isn't even the type of art I would normally look at, but it was so beautiful and powerful that this piece just tugged at me. I couldn't keep my eyes off of it. After my husband hung it on the wall in our room, I would lie in bed and stare at it as I drifted to sleep. I would wonder; how did they get to this moment? Their love for each other is so deep. Sometimes I would paint a small story in my mind about them. Hopefully I do this picture justice and give it a story well matched.

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Sherry sat at their dining room table tapping her foot on the hard wood floor. She was nervous. She couldn't get the fears and worries out of her mind. He was late...again. Ever since she had happily told her husband of three years that she was pregnant, he had become distant and came home from work later and later. Even though they had talked about starting a family, he didn't seem happy about the news. Sometimes he wouldn't come home until after her bed time. This went on for months. So long that she was very noticeably pregnant. But tonight she was determined to stay awake. Tonight, she thought, I might have to leave him and raise this baby on my own.

Emotions of sadness, guilt, and worry once again ran over her body and she felt the need to cry but she held it in. She had been crying so much she was tired of it. Her eyes had become so dry and red. No more crying, she thought, this ends tonight. I need to stay strong for my baby...my precious little boy. Her husband wasn't there when she found out the sex of the baby. And he hadn't really been around long enough to tell him.

Though she kept in her tears her nose still sniffled. Her once dainty foot still tapped the floor. She looked at the now cold dinner on the table. She hadn't eaten yet...hoping he would come home. She knew she needed to eat though. Sherry warmed up her dinner and ate alone...in silence. She wasn't very hungry and didn't eat much, but she tried. Once she was done she cleaned up after herself and left her husbands dinner on the table.

As she sat on the couch to relax, she felt him kicking. He was always active at the end of the day. She called him her little night owl. He must have liked it because he would always respond when she said it. In silence she watched her beautiful belly move around as her son was playing football, or running track, or dancing in her womb. She smiled at the thought of who he could be. And for a moment, she forgot about everything else. Well, until she remembered her last doctors appointment. Which of course made her think of Jameson, her husband. She lightly scoffed at the thought of him and what she had been through during her pregnancy for the last 7 months.

He went with her to some of her doctor appointments, and acted like a doting father-to-be. He looked so happy with her. But as soon as they left the office, he would kiss her forehead and tell her he had to hurry up and get back to work. It was always a quick exchange and she never understood why because he had been with the company for so long that he was practically family. What if he's cheating on me? Another fear that had crossed her mind many times. They hadn't had relations since she told him she was expecting and she was already feeling big and awkward. It didn't help her self-esteem any.

She felt a huge kick and instantly her mind stopped wandering. "That one hurt little man." She said out loud to her moving stomach.

She watched in awe wondering what he was doing in there. Her whole body shook at some of his movements, while other times, he moved so lightly and she barely felt it. Jameson hadn't even felt the baby moving yet because he was never home. She closed her eyes and sat back into the couch trying not to over think all the negative possibilities of the evening. Her heart hurt so badly, though she tried to stay cheerful. Tried. She had read that the feelings of the mother are passed to the baby while en utero and can affect the child's disposition when older. She didn't want a grumpy baby, that was certain.

As she sat in the lightly dimmed living room she looked around at the life she and her husband had built. It was all so bittersweet. What if it was all empty and meaningless? The pictures on the walls and mantle of their loving lives together all just seemed to become surreal the moment she announced her pregnancy. It was as if it was superficial. The perfection that was them was only a facade, and now...now she saw the real side of it all.

She huffed and shook her head, trying hard not to mentally wrestle with herself. The clock that they had gotten as a wedding present chimed it was 9:oopm on the mantle amongst the pictures of the once perfect couple. She needed to focus on her breathing and the beautiful treasure torturing her belly.

"Baby, what are you doing on the couch?" Jameson's once soothing voice filled her ears and rang into her mind.

Sherry opened her eyes and looked around dazed. She didn't realize she had fallen asleep. And now her neck hurt from the position she was in.

"Hmm?" She answered sleepily.

"You need to be in bed. Come on now. Let's get you to bed, Baby."

All she could do was nod. Bed sounded like a nice place to be at that moment.

The clock chimed on the mantle. Ding...ding...nine...ten...eleven. It was 11:00pm! Suddenly, Sherry's eyes opened wide and she stopped him from helping her to their bed.

"What is it?" He looked at her in confusion. He was tired himself. He just wanted to get her to bed so she could get comfortable before he took care of himself.

"Jay?" she said more sheepishly than she had hoped. She was still waking up.

"Yeah Baby, I'm here."

"Jay, we need to talk."

"You need to sleep."

"No." She said with a little more strength. "We need to talk."

He knew that tone. He let her go and stepped away from her so she could get her bearings. He realized she must have tried to wait up for him. He didn't know what he was going to say to her. He didn't know how she would handle everything. Especially in her 'delicate state'.

She saw the guilt in his face and it broke her. She knew this would be bad and that he was going to break her heart. To her, raising this child on her own was her only option. But she needed to know for sure. She needed closure, for her peace of mind, but to her his answers were already formed.

He quietly cleared his throat and sat down on the couch. He rubbed his forehead and looked down to the floor. Not a good sign.

"What's going on Shay?" He was slumped over. Still not looking at her.

"Are you cheating on me?" No! That wasn't the first question she wanted to ask him but it just came out! Well, she couldn't take it back. It was already out.

Silence.

"Is that really what you wanted to ask me?" He kept looking at the floor.

"Yes!" Her fervency was picking up a bit more in her tone. Of course, she had so many more questions to ask him. It all hung on the first. Was that laughter she heard coming from him? Oh hell no. He is not laughing right now.

"Baby, I don't have time to cheat on you. And even if I did have the time, I'd rather be in bed with you." He looked up at her. He looked hurt. And he was...hurt that she would even entertain that he could have been cheating.

"Then why are you coming home so late? Why aren't you ever home? What are you doing? You don't even talk to me and I truly believe you don't even want our son."

He stood up to look at her. Eyes wide open. "We're having a boy?"

"Yes. I'm having a boy." Emphasis on 'I'm'.

He closed his eyes. He looked defeated, tired, and sad. He stood for a moment as he looked around the dimly lit living room. Then walked over to the table. He was hungry and knew his dinner would be somewhere.

"You're not going to say anything?" She said as he walked away from her.

He looked up to the ceiling and sighed before starting to speak. He didn't know how she was going to take all of this and was afraid she would leave him. He loved her so much. He was so happy that he was going to be a father, and so proud of his woman for being so strong during her pregnancy.

He could feel her eyes on him, so he turned from the food to look at her and finally tell her what had been going on. The living and dining rooms separated them and though it was a few yards, it felt like an entire country.

Her impatient tapping foot echoed in their apartment.

"No Baby. I'm not cheating on you."

"So what is it? Why are you never home?"

"The day you told me you were pregnant, I lost my job." He stated slowly.

She stopped tapping her foot. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I want you to know that you can count on me to provide. I didn't want to worry you."

"Well, you worried me." She interrupted.

"I didn't want you to question whether or not I could take care of you and our family."

"So what have you been doing?"

"I was looking for a job. And I found two. They made up a little more than what I was making at my old job."

"Jay, you should've told me. I've been thinking that you don't love me anymore, that you don't want to be here, and that you don't want this baby." Her voice cracked from all the emotions flooding through.

"Shay, I love you so much. I love you more than my own life. I wish I could be here with you. And I can't wait to meet our son. The greatest part of my day is coming home and talking to him while you are asleep. You used to stay up late, so I thought we'd be able to see each other at night but by the time I get home, you're knocked out. I know you're tired though, so I don't want to wake you up."

This is not how she thought this would go. Not at all. Her mind was all over the place trying to understand and change her mindset. He loved her. Man, pregnancy brain could be a horrible thing.

"Jay, we are a team. When you worry, I worry right next to you. Please don't hold stuff like this from me."

"I know. And I'm sorry I scared you Baby. I just didn't want you to think I was a deadbeat loser."

"I would never think that about you. A cheater, a scoundrel, and a lowlife, but never a deadbeat loser."

They chuckled together. The first time in months.

Sherry woke up with a start. She sleepily looked around and noticed she was alone in their bed. She closed her eyes and thought about the night before, wondering if she could take a nap during the day since she was on maternity leave, to stay up late to be able to spend time with Jameson. The fear was still prevalent, but she tried to push it away. He's gone again. Of course. She thought.

As she closed her eyes, she pictured them sitting together having breakfast and she could smell the pancakes and maple syrup...she could smell the pancakes and the maple syrup! Then she heard rustling from the kitchen. Is he home?

She remembered the impending heat of the day and wrapped her purple sarong around her body so her belly stuck out but she was covered and walked into the kitchen to see Jameson cooking away in nothing but his boxers.

"I took the day off."

"I see."

"From both jobs. They were both very understanding and told me to enjoy my day with my wife." He smirked as he pulled out a chair for her to sit. But he didn't push it in for her.

"I made waffles!"

"Stop it! You did not!"

"Okay, I made pancakes." He leaned down to kiss her forehead, then her nose, then her lips.

She liked that and giggled her approval.

Then he leaned down further and kissed the top of her belly.

"Daddy loves you, little man."

"That's what I call him!"

"Now, what will we name him?"