Deadpool & Wolverine: Regeneration War

The rain hit the asphalt like bullets—loud, relentless, unforgiving. Somewhere in a dimly lit alley of a broken timeline, Deadpool stood with katanas drawn, humming the theme from *Friends*.

"Could I *be* wearing any more leather?" he muttered to himself, admiring his reflection in a cracked mirror, before turning toward the sound of heavy boots behind him.

"You're late," came a familiar gravelly voice.

Deadpool turned, arms wide. “Logan! My favorite grumpy Canadian porcupine!”

Wolverine stepped into the light, trench coat soaked, claws not yet drawn. “You said this would be simple.”

Deadpool blinked innocently behind his mask. “And *since when* have I ever done anything simple?”

Logan sighed, lighting a cigar. “Let’s just get this over with.”

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### **The Mission**

Time itself was collapsing.

Someone—some *thing*—was ripping holes in the multiverse. Not cool little portals with glowing lights and epic sound effects, but ragged, bleeding tears that brought chaos, mutants, variants, and cosmic-level headaches.

At the center of it: **The Omega Director**—a Frankenstein of tech, mutant DNA, and bureaucratic evil. Created by a failed secret experiment in a timeline where the X-Men sold out to corporations, he now controlled multiple versions of reality like a board game.

And guess who had *accidentally* sold him the last piece of tech he needed?

“Oops,” Deadpool muttered. “I may have thought it was a Chimichanga warmer.”

So now, with the Time Variance Authority ignoring Deadpool's calls and the Avengers off-world (as always), it was up to Wade Wilson and Logan Howlett to clean up a mess they didn’t entirely understand.

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### **Into the Multiverse**

Their mission took them from a **post-apocalyptic version of New York**, where Magneto ruled with an iron will, to a **cartoon dimension** where they briefly looked like ‘90s Saturday morning versions of themselves.

In each reality, they encountered familiar faces… twisted.

* A Cyclops with six eyes and no moral compass.

* A Beast that had gone full monster.

* And a Professor X who had merged with Cerebro and now *was* the machine.

“We’re in a comic book, Logan,” Deadpool said at one point. “A very expensive, multiverse-hopping, emotionally confusing comic book.”

Logan growled. “You talk too much.”

Deadpool winked. “And you brood too much. Yin and yang, baby.”

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### **Bonds & Blades**

Despite their differences, the chaos slowly revealed what neither of them wanted to admit: they worked well together.

Logan’s brute force and survival instincts were the perfect counter to Deadpool’s unpredictability and regeneration-fueled recklessness.

During one mission in a collapsing universe, Wolverine was nearly crushed by a falling Sentinel—but Deadpool, missing three limbs, still managed to pull him free.

“You’d do the same for me,” Deadpool coughed, regrowing an arm like a horrifying starfish.

Wolverine looked away. “Yeah. Maybe.”

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### **Final Showdown**

The Omega Director’s lair floated at the edge of the timeline—a twisted structure made from broken X-Men bases, stitched together with time rifts and powered by corrupted mutant cores.

“You distract him,” Logan growled. “I’ll take out the power grid.”

Deadpool smiled beneath his mask. “Distract the godlike villain? What could go wrong?”

The battle was explosive. The Omega Director summoned versions of Deadpool and Wolverine from other timelines—evil ones, robotic ones, even a baby Wolverine with razor-sharp rattle claws.

Deadpool took the fight personally. Not because of the multiverse. Not because of morality.

But because one of the Omega variants **mocked his fourth-wall-breaking powers.**

“That’s MY THING!” Wade shouted, slicing through timelines and logic alike. “You don’t MOCK THE MERC!”

Meanwhile, Wolverine cut through the reactor's guards, leaving a trail of scorched metal and burnt ozone. He reached the core and slashed deep, triggering a chain reaction.

As time itself began to unravel, the two heroes were flung into the air, colliding near the portal that led home.

“Did we… win?” Deadpool asked, dangling upside down from a beam.

Wolverine grunted. “We stopped him. For now.”

A flash of light. A rip in the sky.

And everything went black.

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### **Epilogue: Home-ish**

They woke up in a strange version of Earth. No X-Men. No Avengers. Just… Disney+ billboards and a talking duck with a lawyer's degree.

Deadpool sat up, rubbing his head. “Well, that was a multiversal butt-kicking.”

Wolverine sat beside him, lighting a fresh cigar. “You’re buying the next round.”

Deadpool looked at the skyline. “So… wanna team up again?”

Wolverine stared at him. “Don’t push it.”

Deadpool grinned, turning to the "camera."

“See you in the sequel, nerds.”

**\[Roll credits.]**

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