Writing Down The Bones Deck #14

Inspired by Denise E Lindquist

By Chloe Rose Violet 🌹Published 11 months ago • 5 min read

This post is inspired by Denise E Lindquist. I never would have known about this deck of cards if it wasn't for her. So thank you Denise for sharing this lovely deck of cards with all of us on Vocal.

Full disclosure: I have not read Natalie Goldberg's book titled by the same name. I just own her cards.

I also receive a small commission from Amazon if you purchase these cards via the link that I have provided for you. Thank you.

I've been stuck in a writing rut. I have honestly tried everything to get myself out of the funk I have found myself in after losing my fourth child. I tried reading more- when I have time that is. I tried art journaling. I even tried listening to my favourite podcasts about writing and writers block. I mean nothing has been able to get me out of this writers block and depression I find myself in.

I was scrolling Vocal and I came across another post by Denise that featured these cards. And I thought to myself, maybe this is it. SO I bought them. I thought to myself, "Maybe this is what I need". I've been carrying the cards around for about a month- trying to get "in the mood" to write again. I started writing this on my Kindle Scribe today while I was at home and I felt everything just flow. I'm going to try and post every prompt that I work on. I truly love tarot and oracle cards as well as affirmation cards, that is why I clicked so well with these.

SO without further ado- enjoy my attempt at erasing my writer's block with the fourteenth prompt.

14) What did you bring- in your purse, on a trip, to a party, in your suitcase, in your book bag, in your car?

The back of the card suggests both physical items, ethereal, concrete and abstract. What do you metaphorically never leave behind?

A certain thing popped into my head when I picked up this card today. I began thinking of my last New Years Eve party that I attended.

I was single back then, working in a bar part time and one of my coworkers whom I had befriended invited me to come over and hang out with a few other coworkers and their significant others. I never really did that. I didn't go out. I truly don't like New Years Eve and expectations of the night. Whenever you go out you kind of have a plan on what the night is going to be like and I've had one too many bad experiences with the day to trust it. I don't know why but I just don't like the day. It's just an excuse to drink in my mind.

The main reason why I don't like New Years Eve is because of my experience in high school when my boyfriend at the time went to his own party with his friends and I went to my friends party. I wasn't allowed to go hang out with his buddies. No girlfriends apparently. So dumb and quite literally broke my heart as i was fairly good friends with half of them.

Anyways my dad, probably one of the only nights he's really truly been my dad, came and got me by 12:30 because I was so beyond upset about the night. And I just cried. I had the worst night of my life and he tried to comfort me but he didn't like my boyfriend to begin with so it was hard for him to cheer me up. I was young. I wanted a New Years Eve kiss. So stupid now that I look back at the memory.

I kind of forgot where I was going with this trip down memory lane. But back to my main point- the last New Years Eve party that I attended was absolutely one of the worst nights of my life. I was so excited to go and hang out with people and just be someone other than a mom for a change. I packed a twelve pack of coolers, my anxiety, a vape, and a pocket deck of tarot cards. Probably an odd combination of items. And I also specifically wore my favorite leggings because they made my butt look good. I had a crush on one of the only single guy there that night.

Unfortunately for me. I did not know how to “party” at all. I knew how to serve people that liked to party, but I myself did not know how to hang out and socialize with society anymore. I ended up trying too hard to fit in with the wrong crowd. I did my favorite yearly spread of cards for two of my coworkers at the party. I like to do that for myself every year, it just provides insights onto what happens every month. Doesn't always mean it's accurate though.

I just wanted them to like me. I don't talk to any of them anymore actually. I should have just stayed at home that night after work and read my own cards, or read something. Put a good movie on and just cherish the night to myself.

I ended up going home with my single coworker. He was my aunt's roommate which just made the whole situation worse. I didn't hook up with random people, I didn't know what to do after. I don't know the protocol for one night stands with your fricken coworker. Especially one that lived with your godmother. When she figured out the next day that I slept over, she went and bought us burgers. It was quite humiliating for us both. And then one of his buddies- who also worked with us, dropped by unannounced so instantly I felt worse about the situation.

I just didn't know how to leave. He made me coffee in the morning. It was more like 1pm actually but still. I was just embarrassed. If I could go back in time, I'd decline the invite because I literally hate the memory of the night so much. I cringe at it actually. I suppose it was life experience but it was the worst party of my life when I look back at it now.

I don't know why I felt like sharing such a weird story with you all, it's just what came to me when I read this prompt.

New Year's Eve is always a let down for me when I go into it with expectations. Expectations lead to disappointment and resentment.

I hope you enjoyed where my brain took me with this prompt.

Chloe Rose Violet 🌹

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Check out the rest of the prompts down below!

Part One: Writing Down The Bones Deck

Part Two: Writing Down The Bones Deck #2

Part Three: Writing Down The Bones Deck #3

Part Four: Writing Down The Bones Deck #4

Part Five: Writing Down The Bones Deck #5

Part Six: Writing Down The Bones Deck #6