Why 'Time Owes No Favours' Is Supposed to Hurt
Ethical and Emotional Responsibilities When Rewriting Past Events
I recently wrote a piece for Belle's Back To Our Youth unofficial challenge, and it was one of the hardest stories I’ve written from an emotional standpoint. The piece is called Time Owes No Favours. If you haven’t read it yet, I recommend doing so for context—it’s a story I’m incredibly proud of.
It’s the first time I’ve ever written with myself as the main character. Normally, my characters—whether good or bad—are built from pieces of me and other people I know. Don’t we all do that? But this time, it wasn’t a portion of me. It was just me. Unnamed, yes, but anyone who knows me even a little will likely recognise the details and connect the dots. It’s not a secret.
My aunt Fil died in a car accident on May 18th, 1985. She was the first person I truly knew and loved who died. Even though it happened nearly 40 years ago, I still remember fragments—of her before she died, and of the massive hole her death left behind.
Aside from how heartbreaking it was to write, the process raised some important ethical and literary questions I hadn’t anticipated.
Per Belle’s challenge prompt, the story involves going back in time to prevent something terrible—my aunt Fil dying in that crash. That premise alone brings a moral dilemma, which I try to explore in the story. If you could go back in time, what would you do?
Many people say they’d stop something monumental—9/11, the Dunblane massacre (which I mention, along with the Pan Am Flight 103 Lockerbie disaster). But would you, really? Or would you choose something more personal?
That was my dilemma. In the end, my loyalty to my family—and the chance to lift the grief that has hung over us since 1985—won out.
But as I was writing, I hit a major snag. Should I change details to avoid upsetting family members who might see this as a half-hearted attempt at fictionalising a real tragedy? Or would that be even more insulting—as if I were trying to obscure or soften something deeply real?
In the end, I chose to use real names and to keep most of the details true to life. That felt honest. That felt right.
But that choice brought a whole new challenge. Not only did I have to navigate the usual narrative complications of time travel—changing the past has consequences—I also had to reckon with the weight of altering the past on the page. Changing history in fiction can feel like rewriting grief—and that carries consequences too.
If, in the story, I prevent Fil’s death, I change the future. That’s rich material for character conflict—especially when the character is me. But the deeper question is this: when telling stories rooted in real-life tragedy, what’s truly gained in rewriting the outcome?
Would anything really be gained by imagining a version of the world where I stopped her from driving, where she lived to a ripe old age?
Or would that be a slap in the face—a shameful, insensitive dismissal of the grief my family has actually endured?
Sure, it might be comforting. Even cute. But I try not to avoid the bad just for the sake of the good.
Some people will argue that it’s fiction—that it’s imaginative, idealistic, even healing to dream of better endings. And yes, there’s truth in that. But when a story walks that fine line between fiction and non-fiction—when it isn’t entirely made up—I believe there’s reason to be cautious. To be respectful. And to ask ourselves, not just what if—but why?
Interestingly, while the ending may seem anticlimactic to some, if I did have the chance to go back—just for one last cuddle, the chance to tell my aunt I loved her, and to give her a picture with oversized feet that might eventually end up in the bin—I’d take it. Without hesitation.
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Paul Stewart
Award-Winning Writer, Poet, Scottish-Italian, Subversive.
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Comments (14)
Writing that entry was an extremely vulnerable thing, and I applaud you for it 🥺 Not only did you take the opportunity to write on something so challenging and personal, but you were also very creative with the prompt. The masterful storytelling blew me away, and I couldn't imagine a more perfect entry. I love the way you describe your aunt, and the conflicts you had when writing, the ethics of it all.. We'd like to think that maybe we would prevent some big disaster, but these personal things are our big disasters, and are hard to get past, even if they are just accidents, even a part of life. Thank you so much for being so vulnerable on the page. I could tell how difficult it was for you, how emotionally driven, even before realizing the story was true. You're an incredible writer, and I have fallen in love with Aunt Fil's legacy. I hope she knows just how loved she is ❤️❤️🫂🫂
When writing about true events, it's a hard choice whether or not to use factual names. I think it all depends on how well your family supports you, or what you are writing about.
I can tell how emotional that piece was to write for you, and I offer my deepest. condolences. It’s difficult, grappling with wanting people back, and so, so painful.
Oh wow, Sir Paul, I'm speechless. Even if I wanted to write a story where I go back in time to stop anyone's death, I'd only think about how the plot would be and stuff like that. I would have never have thought as deeply as you. Does that make me insensitive? Lol. I have no idea. You opened up a whole new way of thinking for me. Also, I'm so ashamed to say this but I realised that you've missed 2 or 3 of my latest pieces. I'm not saying this because I want you to read them but because I was wondering if I did/say anything wrong to you which made you avoid my stuff. Butttt, as I was reading this piece of yours, I realised that I missed your story for Belle's challenge. I have no idea how I missed it. It was an honest mistake. And that's when it hit me. You must have missed my pieces too. We all just have too many notifications and too many stuff to read. So that opened my eyes as well, lol
Hi Paul. I left a note on your story, but the essence is repeated here. Things happen in life, and I am not sure we are meant to change anything. My mother has always said 'Everything happens for a purpose." Whether it be something personal or a global event, we are meant to learn something from everything that happens. If we go back and change things, does that not cause more dilemmas down the track? Greta topic, though, and great story you wrote.
Hmm.. I’ve not read the story yet but I always wanna go back and you can’t so I think it’s futile and possibly more painful to even think about it for me personally.
You've already read my response, my friend, & I continue to stand by it. Incredibly & sensitively well presented. My heart breaks for you & your family & finds some healing in what I sense is yours.
Paul I relate to this, I also would be "selfish" and save a loved one... but then we wouldn't be the poetic bleeding hearts that we are. So now I want to pose that promise with a question... would you give up a passion/ coping mechanism to temporarily save your loved one(s)?
It's complex wanting to bring someone back. Interesting dilemma indeed. I find I never thought about this but rather the opposite with euthansia
Thought provoking and really beautifully written expository piece to go with the narrative you created! Writing a piece with yourself as the main character can be so tough, I certainly struggle with it, but in your case the result is a really powerful piece!
Bless your heart Paul - yes there are definitely some people you want to go back in time and see again or bring them back. I thought your story you wrote about your aunt was heartbreaking. Definitely one of my favorites of yours. This article was fab too.
You bring to light a dilemma worth investigating. I am off to read your other story regarding this.
LC is right, Paul. Please accept my deepest condolences for your Aunt Fil. And I am sure that your family will understand that whatever it is, you will always protect them.
I can see why that was a tough one. I haven't read it yet, but I've bookmarked it to come back to later.