When I'm 80

Self-love is the road toward healing. These prompts are an invitation to step inside yourself. Rupi Kaur

Today, at 70, I like to think that loving self is about living fully, creating happiness, speaking kindly, hugging daily, smiling most of the time, having hope more often, laughing freely, seeking truth, inspiring change, and loving deeply!

Rupi Kaur’s Self-Love Writing Prompts — When have others misjudged you, and how did it make you feel?

Last Tuesday I went to a group I facilitate most weeks at a Mental Health Crisis Shelter. I am their culture consultant. We were talking about recovery and I mentioned my recovery birthday when a group member said, “You can’t be the same age as my grandma!”

She then said, “She doesn’t look like you. She is still good-looking, but I thought you were maybe 50!”

My first thought was, "Okay, that feels good." Next, I thought, "What does she want?" And then I thought, “Maybe she isn’t wearing her glasses.” And finally, "I guess for some of us, 70 may be the new 50!" All of this in a matter of about a minute.

This was my last experience with recognizing I may be misjudged. I have laughed when others have said, “I can’t believe how old my classmates are.” I laughed as I had said that before. We don’t all age as well for a lot of reasons.

A 90-year-old friend yesterday was talking about how he didn’t even recognize a friend his age as she had gained a lot of weight, was in a wheelchair, and she has dementia.

Rupi Kaur’s Self-Love Writing Prompts — What about you leaves you in awe?

When I thought I was only going to have two children and just a few grandchildren. Now, together with my husband, I have seven children, 27 grandchildren, with one on the way, and 12 great-grandchildren. And I love it.

My daughter has 8 children with her husband, a his, mine, and ours family. And she has said to me more than once, “I don’t like other people's children.” Over the years, I have felt guilty about her saying that as I wondered if I had somehow given her that.

That is why I am in awe, as I love every one of my children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, both bio and step, and even though the step have living mothers, they still are my children/grands. And I love other people's children too. Nieces and nephews, cousins and all of their children.

Rupi Kaur’s Self-Love Writing Prompts — When I’m eighty, I want to look back at my life and ________________.

It will probably first be congratulating myself for living so long. When I was a teen, and married, I wasn’t sure I would make 30, as that seemed so old and so far away for me at the time.

Now, for me, 80 seems so close. Time keeps moving faster and faster. There is an explanation for that and I have the information somewhere in one of my files.

From Google:

- Feeling time pressure due to having too much to do.

- Enjoying what we’re doing makes time appear to move faster.

- New experiences are registered differently by our brain.

- Gradual alteration of our internal biological clocks as we age.

- Slower processing times lead to perceiving fewer mental images, making time pass more rapidly.

I am hoping to avoid dementia, so I can look back and review what I have done right. I hope to not focus on the wrongs.

I want to look back and see that all my children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren are living their best lives!

I want to see that I have done my part to better life on this planet for future generations. This sounds like I have some power that I don’t have and at the same time today, I believe it only takes a small group of women/people to make a difference in life.

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First published by Mercury Press on medium.com