Transform pain into success

We often find ourselves in the situation where we can not held ourselves with confidence not because we're weak but because the person in front of us makes us feel small. We hide our true selves out of fear : fear that If we show who we really are they may stop loving us. We stay quiet so we don't offend them, we stay in a relationship for long wearing a mask. They think they know us deeply, but they only know the version we've carefully crafted while walking on eggshells.

I've been there as well.

I was in a relationship where I couldn't be my true self, where I couldn't laugh naturally and loudly because the person would say that I was doing to much, or that a beautiful human can never laugh that way, where couldn't express what I feel or how they had made me feel because I would be treated as sensitive, I was in a relationship where I couldn't speak by keeping eye contact for a while because of the lack of confidence in myself. I had always dreamed about becoming a good speaker, someone who could connect deeply with people through words. But relationship delayed my growth. Over time, I started believing that I could never be that person. That believed held me back.

I remember hosting a radio show at my University. While a had the mic, I realized that I wasn't convinced by my own words at least, not like many of my colleagues were. I told myself that I couldn't connect with people and that lie lived in me for years.

But everything changed when I decided to leave that relationship.

The shift didn't happen over night, but once I walked away. I began to work hard on myself. I didn't just believe I could connect with people, I started to show it in the way I was carried myself, especially in public speaking.

One thing I learned is: confidence isn't only how you see yourself _ it's how others experience you. I could believe that I was a good speaker on inside, but I didn't show it. People would only see my insecurity. And that was the turning point. I decided to be exactly like a was feeling from the inside and show my real me. I started using my voice as my biggest weapon, the same voice that used to shake before when speaking. I started caring myself properly so the inside could reflect the outside.

I also learned to forgive myself for staying too long, for shrinking myself, for ignoring my inner voice. Healing wasn't just about moving forward, it was about giving myself the grace for the past. I started journalizing, recording my voice notes, and even reading my own thoughts out loud just to hear my voice again. I slowly fell in love with the sound of my own voice the one I used to hide. And with small act of self -expression, I felt a little more alive. The silence that I once swallowed became the space that I learned to speak with boldness.

I reclaimed my voice, my presence and my power _ not at all once but step by step.

You're probably going through the same thing as me or different from what a lived, you maybe have a dream that you always wish to accomplish but because of the fear of going out of your comfort zone you never started trying. I hope you would be inspire by my one and take and first step from today.

Words by Solange.