Throwing in the towel

"I'm walking out!"

The venomous words propel out of my mouth and box the ears of my employer while I slam the gnarled rumple of scrap paper down on my manager's desk, on which the words "I quit" can be read, impulsively scribbled in black sharpie marker. Turning on one heel, I whip around and storm out while people cheer, validating my unquestionably great decision.

Victoriously and effortlessly I fling open the heavy double doors as I embark upon my new journey, embraced by the sun as it breaks across my face, analogously indicating a bright future filled with hope and joy. Then, in a finale of celebration, I raise my arms triumphantly as confetti inexplicably falls from the sky.

I'm sure you realize that didn't really happen. But that's how it felt in my head. In actuality the picture looks a bit different; I issued my two week notice, I worked the two weeks, and was given a small cake and a Dundie Award from a friend.

I didn't expect to leave, but some things transpired, changes were made and soon the place I loved became a source of stress and exhaustion. So after a few weeks of debating and obsessing, I made the (not so decisive) decision to leave.

*Clears throat* I mean, I'm out the door man! To freedom!

I look out now at a brand new world of possibilities, and with the new year in mind, I realize that for the first time after years of depression, struggle, and survival, I have before me the opportunity to finally develop and focus on myself.

I can thrive. Who does that?

I'm going to do all the things I always say I don't have time to do; spend time with my family, meet up with friends, blow glass and you guessed it, write.

The Part About Writing

From now on, instead of at a hotel desk, you will find me sitting in a coffee house with my laptop and a cup of joe, writing. I'll work on my memoir, of course, but I will also be dedicating significant portions of my time diving head first into the vast pool that is Vocal.

Get ready guys, here I come.

2023 Recap

This past year on vocal, for me, exceeded my expectations, being that I had very little. I am so thankful for this past year, especially because the year before, I wholeheartedly believed getting anywhere close to runner up was impossible. However, this year I had the incredible blessing of being runner up three times.

In addition to my inexplicable runner ups, the conversations and interactions I had with other writers this past year blew my mind as well. I had the ridiculous honor of having a story reviewed by one fellow vocalist and then, if that wasn't enough, I was even interviewed by another lovely writer.

Beyond that, I had the ability to bask in the works of several other authors, where I was inspired and challenged as many of you wrote hundred's of fabulous stories in a year, leaving my paltry twelve stories in the dust. Many of you also encouraged me or gave me advice personally which has helped me to grow. So I can't say enough about how thankful I am for all the great experiences I had in 2023 with the Vocal community.

Maybe I just had an extremely lucky year, maybe this year will be a wash, but the best way to find out is to put in the work and see if the proof is in the pudding. Being that I suddenly feel like goals are achievable, as we look toward 2024 goals, well people, I have some.

My Goals for 2024:

#1. I am going to write every week. Whether that be for a challenge or an article that strikes my brain, I am going to carve out at least one day to write for Vocal. Now it'd be great, even welcome, should I manage to write more than one day, but let's start small.

#2. I am going to enter every challenge. I usually am picky, and try to find the one's that spark something in me, mostly due to my limited time. But now I have nothing but time, and they say practice makes perfect, so that means that I'm going to have to research and attempt even those weirdly-specific-forms-of-poetry challenges too.

#3. Make Top three in a challenge. I know, I know, it's everyone's goal and it's sort of obvious. Still, a couple years ago I was beyond dazzled to be in the top 1000 for the Vocal Fiction Award challenge, and then this past year, absolutely blown away and baffled to have three runner ups. It's time to up the ante and I have time to put in the work. Here's hoping dedication to the minutia I usually stumble over on my way to merely meet the deadline, will reap rewards.

#4. I am going to write stories outside of challenges. Once upon a time I had a little blog, a mom blog, and it floundered to be honest, but I did have things to say. Even still, every once in a while the odd idea for a piece bounces across my brain, so I guess I'm not tapped out. I also usually only write for challenges, so writing without out a prompt will be branching out for me. Speaking of branching out...

#5. I'm going to branch out. By that I mean, I will dedicate more time to connect to the vocal community. I will be more present in the social groups and dedicate more time to reading other writers. This will also give me the opportunity to return the favor I have been so graciously given, and encourage other writers in their journeys as well.

I am so thankful for this past year and am looking forward to diving into Vocal for the 2024 year with laser focus and steady resolve. Here's to 2024!