The Invisible and Red string theories

My story.

Before delving into the crux of what this article is about, I must say that somewhere in the universe there is a grain of truth connected to this theory (at least from my personal experience and perspective).

In my late 20's, I met a friend. I was sitting at my desk at my then job and I felt the intense need to turn around. My eyes connected with the unblinking stare of a tall, handsome young man about my own age. Sparks flew...but two years later we parted ways. He was a classic narcissist...but still...I was connected to this person in a way that was extremely uncanny. Even when he was in another country, I knew when he was happy, when he was sad or if he had some other emotional drama happening. It worked both ways. Sad or happy or emotional, out of the blue we would call each other and wonder at the invisible string that seemed to connect our emotions, even if we knew nothing of this string at the time.

I was always upset at his lack of empathy, which I later learned was a trait that narcissism holds over a person, they are, unfortunately, completely unaware of this. Yet despite this lack, we were interconnected in this unseen matrix in no uncertain ways, even after the passage of many years apart.

In 2022, I was in one of the funk moods of being mad at him again, I refused to take his calls (he was still in another country). Then suddenly, I had this overwhelming need to speak to him.

Alas! I was too late. He had collapsed, went into a coma and passed away from a brain aneurysm. I now have to live with the feeling of "oh, why did I not answer his last frantic calls to me days before he passed". Sigh!!!

I honestly think that his spirit visited me before finally going into that bright light. But what of the string...does it continue after the light has been dimmed.

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Their story

East Asian folklore's red string theory.

The “Asian red string theory,” more commonly known as the Red Thread of Fate or Red String of Destiny, is a beautiful East Asian belief originating from Chinese mythology. It suggests that there is an invisible red thread that connects those who are destined to meet and possibly become significant parts of each other’s lives, regardless of time, place, or circumstances.

According to the legend, the thread is tied around the ankle or the finger of two people who are destined to be together or help each other in some significant way. The deity associated with this concept is Yuè Xià Lǎorén (月下老人), also known as Yuè Lǎo (月老), the old lunar matchmaker god, who ties the thread and thus binds people together

The red string is said to stretch or tangle, symbolizing the challenges and complexities of life and relationships, but it is never supposed to break. This myth emphasizes the idea of a predestined, unbreakable bond between destined lovers or soulmates. It’s a powerful metaphor for the forces of fate and destiny that bring people together.

This concept has permeated various aspects of popular culture across Asia, including songs, dramas, manga, and anime, and it resonates with the universal human theme of connection and the serendipity of relationships. It’s a symbol of hope and faith in the every day connections of all people and the journey to find those we are meant to be with.

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The Invisible string

How it can lead to love, and how to use it in real life.

Have you ever met someone and thought, 'Where have you been all my life?' There is that feeling like you were always meant to cross paths, and you maybe even knew them in a past life? Well, there’s a scientific (word used loosely), TikTok-viral—theory that puts a name to that eerie, yet warmly familiar feeling.

Invisible string theory is the idea that you and your soulmate are 'connected through an invisible string or a thread' and it's 'written in the universe' that you’ll be together one day, basically, throughout a platonic or romantic relationship, two people may come together and pull away over many years, but always inexplicably reconnect—as if there's a literal string tied between them, ensuring neither person can fully break from the other.

If you’re up to date on pop culture—Taylor Swift’s song 'invisible strings' or the Oscar-nominated flick Past Lives—chances are, you’re familiar with this concept.

Even if you're not super into TikTok trends, you should still pay attention to the invisible string theory because it can help you understand the deep romantic connections people experience.

Ideas around fate, destiny, predestined meetings, especially in a romantic context, have always been attractive. However, this concept can be applied to more than just romantic connections—you can consider it within your friendships and more.

How may the invisible string energy apply to your life and what is it really? Can it really transcend time, distance, and geography. The key to this theory is the belief that this relationship is not purely determined by choice, but fate. 'You're inexplicably connected with this person' throughout your life.

Further, it is the idea that the universe itself is stitched together with unseen threads all leading us to our destinies, whether we want them to or not. And yes, this theory does suggest that there is just *one* perfect match out there for everyone romantically.

Maybe the best part about invisible string theory, is that it doesn’t just apply to your love life. You can think of it in terms of career moves, friends, or other ways you’re supposed to find your life’s purpose. It helps to understand why people come into our lives in ways that don't always make logical sense, but that usually give some sort of greater fulfilment, purpose, and meaning.

Has the invisible string theory ever showed up in your life?

The limit does not exist. This theory can show up in your life in a number of ways—just look at TikTok. (The hashtags #invisiblestring and #invisiblestringtheory have over 24,000 and 3,000 posts, respectively!).

Here's the good news—or bad news, depending on how you look at it—you can’t do anything to enact the invisible string theory, like manifestation or using the law of the attraction. Because it’s up to fate, the string is already in place in your life. If you’re thinking about this theory in terms of meeting your partner, you are already tied to that person, so you are going to meet them one way or another.

But...

As with any theoretical concept, applying it to real life comes with pros and cons.

Pros: Dating is not always fun. This is where the invisible string theory can help take some of the pressure off. Instead of desperately trying to make a relationship work with someone who’s not a match, this theory allows you to relax a bit and know that you’ll eventually meet whoever you’re meant to be with. 'If you just believe in the universe kind of sorting it all out, you might have more fun with the process.

Cons: No theory is perfect. Invisible string theory relies on the idea that everyone has only one person who they’re meant to be with, so it may frequently have you questioning whether your current partner is really the one you’re tied to with the invisible string.

It can also potentially stop you from working through normal challenges with a partner, like divvying household chores or sharing finances, and you might end the relationship prematurely, thinking there’s someone out there that’s better for you. Even if you're sure you and your partner are bound by an invisible string, no relationship is perfect, so you're bound to have disagreements from time to time.

A word of caution: The invisible string theory is essentially a romanticized view of dating that 'infuses some of that magic into relationships. So, while it can help you maintain a hopeful mindset while dating, you should still 'maintain your autonomy,' rather than rely on this theory 'as a driver of all decision making. Basically, don't forgo the fulfilling relationship in favor of the fairytale story—and vice versa.

Remember that the invisible string theory is just that: a theory. So, you can use it however you want to, it is most useful to implement as part of a positive mindset toward relationships. If you’re interested in seeing how it shakes out in your own life, here are some guidelines to follow:

1. Maintain realistic relationship expectations.

It's best to balance out the theory with a healthy dose of realism. You can trust the process and trust yourself that things will work out the way they're supposed to, but you still need to be logical.

For instance, check in with your emotions right after a date to understand how you’re feeling. Maybe you just don’t click with someone right away on the first date, but instead of writing them off (you would never have a bad first date with your soulmate, right?), you give them another shot to see if your feelings change once you’ve become a bit more emotionally intimate. It takes time to really assess what the relationship is like and if this is a relationship for you.

2. Prioritize your needs.

No, this doesn't make you selfish—it simply means you have standards, and you're not willing to sacrifice them in pursuit of an invisible string theory relationship. Maintain certain standards that are important for a healthy relationship. Yes, you may feel an instant connection, but it's still important to consider whether this person possesses the qualities you need (and want) in a partner, such as emotional availability or shared life values.

3. Be open to opportunities for growth.

While you can't do anything to make the invisible string work its magic faster, you can keep an open mind, stay aware, and be cognizant of the people coming in and out of your life. And if there are any coincidences that might seem bigger than random chance—maybe you see the cute barista you've been crushing on at a concert for your favourite band—take a mental note. That cosmic connection or deep relationship will be brought in at the right time.

And if you think the universe is throwing a particularly hard punch at you—maybe you went on a really bad date that you won't forget for a while—just try to roll with it. 'Take in the lessons instead of fighting the lessons. That way, 'it's easier for the universe to push you through its natural currents so that it can bring you to the [place] you're meant to bloom.

Ultimately, the invisible string theory is just a fun way to look at your relationships in life, even if it’s not a serious scientifically-proven theory.

'Whether it's legit or not, just like any sort of human belief or experience, it's important to those who do believe in it, who find hope and meaning in a theory like this'. 'In mental health and thinking about general resilience, a hopeful stance is one of the most important ingredients'.

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Experts from: Marisa T. Cohen, PhD, LMFT, is a marriage and family therapist and relationship scientist and the founder of Embracing Change Marriage and Family Therapy. Mystic Michaela is a fourth-generation psychic medium, host of the Know Your Aura podcast, and author of The Angel Numbers Book, based in Boynton Beach, Florida. Erin K. Engle, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist at NewYork-Presbyterian/Columbia University Irving Medical Center.

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Excerpts of String theory Story by Addison Aloian

Women's Health UK

This article is mainly based of the views of Bing AI and the experts mentioned above.