Someone Is Walking Around In My House
While I am home alone and in the shower
Anne Bernays and Pamela Painter — What if? Writing Exercises for Fiction Writers prompts —
The Exercise —
You're taking a shower in your house or apartment. You are not expecting anyone, and the front door is locked (the bathroom door is not). You hear a strange noise in a rooom beyond the bathroom. Now, take it from there for no more than two pages. This can be in either the third or the first person. Don't spend any time getting into the shower; you're there when the action begins.
The Objective -
To tell a convincing story centered on speculation and terror.
When I heard the noise in another part of the house, I was confused. I locked the door. I quickly stepped out of the shower to check things out. I left the shower running so if there were an intruder, they wouldn't think to hide, as I was not aware of their presence.
For years, I have hoped that this would never happen to me. I have always thought that I could kill someone as my adrenaline starts to pump. After all, I did pick a guy up with one arm once. That fear hasn't left me. I guess I mean that I am more afraid for the intruder than I am for myself.
So, I will wrap a towel around me, head for the gun in the bedroom, and head for the living room. I have no plans to shoot, but to cause enough of a scare to get the person to leave. No one even knows I am home, as I wasn't supposed to be back for several days yet.
And, if they heard the shower running, wouldn't they know I'm home? Okay, well, whatever, I just have to move now that I have my gun. Maybe I should warn them that I have a gun by hollering. No, that's probably dumb. As I ease into the hallway and down the stairs, I am checking all directions.
Suddenly, I see something out of the corner of my eye. I think, did I just see that? I did, it was a mouse. At least I hope it was just a mouse. It was big, but not that big?? It couldn't have been a rat, right?
Just wait until I tell this story to friends and family. They will never try to surprise me by coming into my house unannounced!
About the Creator
Denise E Lindquist
I am married with 7 children, 28 grands, and 13 great-grandchildren. I am a culture consultant part-time. I write A Poem a Day in February for 8 years now. I wrote 4 - 50,000 word stories in NaNoWriMo. I write on Vocal/Medium daily.
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More stories from Denise E Lindquist and writers in Writers and other communities.
Encouraging Speculation And Exploring Motivation
Anne Bernays and Pamela Painter — What if? Writing Exercises for Fiction Writers prompts — The Exercise — Imagine you are in a line of traffic driving away from the country at nine o’clock on a Saturday morning in August. This line of traffic is much heavier than you anticipated. Who are these people and why are they leaving the beach instead of going in the opposite direction? Account for the occupants of the six cars in front of you. (For examplel the man in the Chevy is going back to town because he just found out his doughnut shop there was broken into at 3:00 a.m. He is pissed.) The Objective — To train yourself to take off from what you see and hear and create an instant story out of it. To encourage speculation and explore motivation.
By Denise E Lindquist2 months ago in Writers
CRIMSON
My hands are stained and trembling with a clear, crimson red. A rich and ugly sight to behold, I wonder who is dead. Who’s blood do I have smeared all over me? I don’t think to wash it off, it’s almost exposure therapy, to see how long I could last, evidence, for all to see, show them I am a bad person, so I can be free.
By Liberty Page7 days ago in Writers
Comments (13)
Cute stuff Denise!
Haha! I loved how you built up the suspense. Happy belated congrats, Denise!
This petrifies me with fear...(I've watched too many crime stories...lol)
Congratulations on top story! Very good writing skills. 🙂
I read your story, and it really kept me interested to the end. But I did not expect it I actually thought someone had entered your house. Great story!
Great exercise for writing, like your comedic twist. Congratulations on top story
The setup could have led anywhere but the twist felt both surprising and oddly comforting. Sometimes the scariest thing we face is just a rogue mouse.
Congratulations, Denise. Great story and well done on Top Story.
Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Nice story
Hahahahahahahhaha just a rodent! That was a relief
Hahaha Funny and be careful with that gun, LOL
Good one, houses seem to always make strange noises when one wants to just relax when alone and all noises seem to become louder from the icemaker making ice to the A/C or furnace turning on or do as they do on those cop shows when they enter a house gun pointing in front of them searching for who or whatever. Good job.