My Top 5 Random Ramblings

Sometimes we write with great purpose and intention.

We sit at our freshly cleaned desk with computer or with pristine notebook, pen and posture having made the decision to write something worthy and wise. Something unique. Something fresh. Something that others are going to say ‘wow’ over.

Other times - we find ourselves frantically scrambling for the one pen we should have “somewhere” (usually in a messy heap of discarded “to be tidied later” junk), all because we need to write down an urgent incoming transmission.

Those sparks of inspiration that appear so suddenly. Without warning. Without intention. Without effort.

The same kind of thoughts that can disappear faster than your capacity to write, type them…or find a pen.

These are my writings from that latter category. The unedited, pure inspiration that comes from the ether - what I believe the kids today are calling streams of consciousness.

Sometimes they work out to be a lot of fun and even more impactful and worthy of attention than those artsy poems or articles we slave over.

Equally brilliant and annoying, isn’t it?!

So here are my five favourites to share with you!

Label-Free Living was sparked at a time I had been reading many articles in the Pride community… but the concept is one that I have given great thought to over the years.

When studying for my mental health degree, we had a class discussion on the harm of ‘labelling’ patients as disordered (eg. “depressed” “schizophrenic” “anxious”) and it’s something I have thought a great deal about since.

There are two sides of this coin. For some people it can be helpful to them (initially) to be labelled so that they feel their suffering is validated. They have something to attach to. The problem is that moment of instant gratification soon becomes their prison.

They remove personal responsibility for their choices which created the symptoms and use the label to enter an even deeper state of victim consciousness. Many people get stuck there and I find it incredibly painful to watch playing out en masse in society.

We have also had massive social debates in recent years over gender and identity. Despite my ignoring all mainstream news for over a decade, some things can’t help but reach me! (such as JK Rowling and her controversial comments that threw gasoline onto the fires of sensitivity in the Pride community).

I also passingly saw one of those awful Piers Morgan interrogations talking about gender identity (more specifically he was attacking someone who was born male and identifying as female).

There was another an incident I saw where a UK politician was asked to define what a ‘woman’ is, and she wouldn’t (clearly terrified of saying the wrong thing). This entire charade was getting completely out of hand.

I see so many deeply insecure and un-nurtured adolescents desperate to be unique, to feel validated and seen, grasping to attach various labels to themselves. Trying to tick boxes that can define them before they have even had a chance to explore life or understand it as a fluid and open concept. Instead they are attaching words to themselves “I am this, I am that, gay, straight, non binary, queer” blah blah blah in desperation to feel like they fit into this dysfunctional, chaotic and unloving world.

When will we stop this madness and just begin to flow through life grounded in the knowing that we are whoever we create ourselves to be and that is ever changing as we grow and evolve. We don’t need to attach to groups or labels and we don’t need ‘identity’. All those serve to do is give false relief and longterm imprisonment.

We are here to have fun and to experience. To flow. To love. We don’t need labels to do any of that. If you need to define me by a label, you don’t know love, therefore you can’t possibly know me.

Anyway… so all of this insanity in society was the backdrop for this stream.

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Ah this one!

For my entire life I was obsessively driven by a desperate need to fix this world. To find or to create that one thing that could help everyone be forever lifted from suffering.

That deep rooted, ever pushing desire has shaped my entire adult life. In recent years, growing in wisdom and realising just how circular and interconnected everything is, and how suffering is necessary for growth….I finally realised that there is nothing that I need to do or create.

That stressful urgency has finally lifted from me. Thank god.

Everything that everybody needs already exists. The wisdom and knowledge to give someone the ability to level up and step out of suffering is already there. And almost all of us have or can gain instant access to that information for FREE!!

A person’s ability to overcome suffering depends on how willing they are to accept the truth about themselves and their choices which keep them in a loop of suffering. For many - that’s just too painful. So they remain stuck.

Yes, I still seek to reach them. And reword all that I have learned in my own unique way in the hope that it will reach someone who hasn’t been reached yet…. it’s why I write. But I’m no longer in this state of desperation and urgency to do something great. Something impactful

Because it already exists.

(To be very clear, I am speaking here about the adults and not referring children - that’s where it all gets very complicated. We all have responsibility to use our privilege to help those behind us, just as we have responsibility to keep learning from those ahead of us. But these should be undertaken from the motivation of love and not the desperation of fear.

There will always be suffering because unconscious people will keep creating children. We can and should work to improve systems to protect and educate those children, but we don’t need to be frantic or feel panicked to do this quickly. We have to accept suffering is inevitable, and calmly and consciously create from this base)

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This one came after overcoming a lifetime of various addictions. Only then could I begin to so clearly see the roots of it began with sugar (and trauma) in my childhood - and how applicable this blueprint is to the wider world.

Sugar was the one thing that made me feel good in a lonely and terrifying childhood. It was my drug.

I was obsessed with finding money as a kid. We didn’t have any so we would go hunting for it. Discarded coppers down the side of the high school tennis courts was always a guaranteed place to find some pennies. Being very skinny and around 6 years old, I was just small enough to squeeze my body between the wire mesh fencing and the concrete wall, usually grazing my arms and legs in the process.

But the pain was necessary for the prize. All for 10p or (on a good day) 20p in coppers to divide between my sister and I to spend on sweets at the local shop. We didn’t go out just to play and enjoy… we were trained by our sugar addiction to constantly be scanning the ground for lost pennies. And we would find them.

At the time it was ‘normal’. Looking back now it seems tragic. We weren’t looking at the sky, or the birds, or the trees in wonder. We weren’t free.

We weren’t free because our minds were already trained to get money to get our next fix.

When you understand the physiology and biology of how much stress sugar puts onto our bodies, you will absolutely understand that it is cocaine to kids. I could write so much on this, but who’s listening? All I can do is try to trigger you to think more deeply and find out this truth for yourself…

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This also stemmed from my lifelong quest of how best to help people….

A question that always leads back to the answer of love.

Love, however, cannot be given as you want to give it. Fully, unbound and free. This fractured world of fractured people requires you to love with discernment. With awareness.

If we consider love as pure light, and we are wise enough to know that pure light cannot be seen (think about the fact that space is dark… we only see light when it is fractured or reflected… eg… by earth’s atmosphere / everything else between the sun and us!)…

Well that means pure love cannot be experienced either. It must be fractured first…into colours. Colours that look like practical help, withdrawal of help, emotional support, trusting a person to stand alone, a smile, a shared tear, educating, silence, etc. Love is the paradox of all of these and more.

True love is knowing which colour(s) of love to paint with and when to paint with them. It requires us to truly be able to see what a person needs at any particular time, and giving it to them. It requires constant and fluid assessment.

Love requires us to be in a state of service, not need.

So this stream poured out one day from a lifetime of this thinking. About being able to look and see what to give each person as we meet them. To be ever flexible, discerning and changing in the love that we give.

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This one is a little bit different to the others as it’s told as a fictional story. I had been watching a lot of the Orville at that time… thinking a lot (as usual) about humanity, mortality, immortality, how people would rather stubbornly defend beliefs that lead to their own suffering and death rather that learn and evolve….

I then saw the Vocal challenge to invent a word and tell a story explaining the definition. This flowed from me in one go. The only thing I had to pause over was the subtitle to get the format correct / in dictionary form.

It’s told as fiction… but it represents a much deeper truth about humanity. One that we are not collectively ready to wake up to yet.

That we are absolutely designed to be immortal.

.

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Inspired by Stephen A. Roddewig’s article below👇👇👇

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P.S. I couldn’t help but add this short one as a sneaky extra number 6! It’s such a short stream but it so succinctly addresses / summarises such massive important topics. When you really understand all of this - you can’t help but to make choices that favour your health. To not do that? Is to keep perpetuating your own victim cycle.