My Journey as a Special Education Teacher

When I got my first classroom at the age of twenty-two, I had this vision of spending my days hanging out with kids and making a difference in their lives. Little did I know, special education is a lot more challenging and exhausting than I could have ever imagined. But despite the difficulties, the fulfillment I get from inspiring my students is beyond words.

The Performance of Teaching

Teaching special education is like being on a stage. From the moment I step into the classroom, I need to be 'on' and fully present. I have to be strict, always choosing the right words and responding in the most effective way. It's a constant performance that requires both mental and emotional strength.

Students from Broken Places

Many of my students come from broken homes, some are homeless or live in foster care. The progress they make is slow, and it can be challenging to track their growth. But witnessing their desire to learn brings me immense joy. Whether it's improving their reading skills, finding employment opportunities, or simply being kinder to their classmates, every small step forward is a victory.

Moments of Doubt

There are times when I question whether I'm truly making a difference. I vividly remember a particularly challenging day during my early years of teaching. I was trying to teach a group of nonverbal students how to take turns, and chaos erupted. The students started screaming and banging their heads on the table. To my disbelief, even my most well-behaved student bit me. In that moment, I felt like a failure, thinking that I had made things worse. But it's during these moments of doubt that I remind myself to step back and practice meditation. If I'm not fully present and giving my all, then I shouldn't be in this profession.

Common Core Standards in Special Education

Even in special education, our curriculum is based on Common Core standards. It can be disheartening to teach complex subjects like "To Kill A Mockingbird" to nonverbal students who are still learning their ABCs and may even be wearing diapers. I believe it's essential to tailor the curriculum to each student's unique abilities and needs. For the least advanced students, we find creative ways to incorporate the story into alphabet practice. As for teaching Algebra, I use visual aids and interactive materials, but the focus is often on developing basic life skills like filling out forms and budgeting money. These are the skills that will truly prepare them for independence and boost their confidence.

Working Within the System

Despite the flaws within the system, I have learned to work within its constraints. My mentor once told me, "If there's anything about the system that you want to fight, just make sure it's the hill you want to die on." So, I choose my battles wisely and strive to make the most significant impact I can within the existing framework.

A Student's Transformation

One of my most memorable experiences was with a student who joined my class as an 'emergency transfer' at the age of fourteen. He had severe behavioral issues, resorting to kicking, biting, and even throwing his own urine-soaked pants. I had the privilege of teaching him for several years, and recently, he graduated. To celebrate his achievement, I took him to watch The Minions. It might seem like a simple outing, but for him to stand in line, enjoy the movie, and be present in the moment was a tremendous victory. It's moments like these that remind me why I chose this profession and give me the utmost satisfaction.

Conclusion

My journey as a special education teacher has been filled with challenges, doubts, and moments of immense joy. It's a performance that requires my unwavering commitment and dedication. While there are flaws within the system, I continue to work within its boundaries to make a difference in the lives of my students. Seeing them grow and thrive in their own unique ways is the ultimate reward that keeps me going.