Leave your Fear Behind

"Let's go to the park, Mummy."

Tanan, my five-year-old boy, my whole universe, wanted to visit the closest park on a brightly sunny day. His school was off for a mid-term break for a week. He was bored being home alone. Therefore we headed towards the park on foot and enjoyed walking along.

Tanan: Do you love me, Mummy?

Mummy: I love you above anyone else, my sweetheart. You know what, you grew inside of me till you showed up on my lap one day, my baby. You are from me, and you are the one who is a part of my body and soul.

He always wants to hear that Mummy loves him a lot. The sky was vivid blue, surrounded by large white clouds all around. The chilly wind was blowing erratically. Tanan was babbling and glancing around like a leaping bunny. It was so sweet to listen to him, as usual. He was curious about everything and constantly asked: why is this one like this way, or why not?

It took us nine to ten minutes to get to the park. It was so beautifully all green around. We haven't been there before. There were some rides for the kids and some fitness equipment for the older crowd. There were a lot of other infants and kids with their parents, too.

Tanan was so excited when he found some of his school friends there. They got to work playing together. Aiden brought binoculars, which he received from his aunt as a birthday gift last week. Aiden heard from his aunt that he could observe something larger up close through binoculars. So, he got up the upper branch of a tree intending to check that out. Tanan does not know how to climb up the tree yet. So, he chose to play football with Toby.

Aliza took a seat aside to start painting the landscape. She loves to paint so much. Parents were also conversing with each other, sitting on the benches under the trees next to the playground.

I was so glad to see Tanan happy as well. His smile makes my day shiny. After a long, distressed time, we can laugh together again.

He kept one of his eyes on me. His dread prevents him from being alone without me. I sat on a wooden chair next to the playground immersed in my thoughts.

Suddenly, he ran towards me and asked for my permission to slide. He never wanted to do so, since he was afraid of sliding. But after seeing his friends do that, he wished to try too. And he requested me to stay by his side.

I long to stay by his side my whole life. He mounted the top of the slide. He gazed at his mom all the time. He settled down there and got ready to release his hands, but he could not.

He was scared, but he was so eager to do that at the same time. I also wanted him to do so because he needed to be free of fear and strong. I cheered him up to give it a shot. But he went rigid; he couldn't even move. Then, I asked him not to be stressed out and to get off the slide. Rather, he gathered his courage and said Mummy, I will do it. I can do it...

Within no time, he released his hands and began to slide down. He grinned cheerfully at me. As if his eyes were telling me, Mummy, I did it. His smile showed his courage and his proud feelings about accomplishing something. I felt that way too. I can do everything for this smile.

After enjoying a good time together, we made our way home.

Tanan: Are you sad, Mummy?

Mummy: No, honey.

Tanan: Realy?

Mummy: Yes, honey.

Tanan: Mummy, if you have a sad face, that shows up you don't have any friends, but if you have a smiley face, that means you have lots of friends.

Mummy: Oh, lovely, what a nice thought! Mummy will always have a smiley face because I have you: my best friend forever.