From Fear to Fearless: How I found My Voice Through Pain

Some time ago I wrote about the danger of using pain as our only motivation. But today, I want to share to other side of the story_how our hard times when understood and embraced, can actually guide us toward real growth and success. Pain, when channeled wisely, can become our teacher, not only our burden.

Let me take you back to a moment in my life that shaped me deeply. I used to be terrified by Public Speaking. Every time that I was about to take the floor and speak_even on the smallest topic, I would feel frozen. My heart would race,my thoughts would scatter, and a heavy fear would take over me. I was afraid of people's stares, their opinions, and what their may be whispering in their heads. That fear wasn't born in the spotlight_ it was built in the quiet corners of my life, at home.

At some point, I lived with some of my extended family members. Every time I opened my mouth, even just to ask a question or make a simple comment, I would get mocked. They'd say "she just want people to hear her voice", even if I was being respectful. Slowly those remarks chipped away at my confidence. I started to silence myself to avoid judgment. And the longer I stayed silence, the most I lost my voice _ not just physically but emotionally too.

For years, into my classrooms, meetings and public spaces. I thought everyone was judging me the way those relatives did. But I started to grow, I realized something very important: People in the audience are not against you. They are curious. They want to learn. They are even excited to hear your message. The real battle was happening in my mind, the war of a imagined criticism, a collection of fears built in the moments in the past. It was time to break free.

And the funny thing about that journey ? I made a decision, a decision to never let people see what I'm struggling from the inside with. Even when I fell fear before speaking, even when I am stressed or uncertain, I choose not to show it. Instead, I embraced it. I accept that that fear is apart of me, but I no longer accept it hold me back from my dreams. I once heard someone say " confidence isn't how you see yourself_ but how others see you". That changed everything for me. Since then, I've made it a rule to never to give people a reason to doubt me. I carry myself with purpose, not because I never feel fear, but I've learned to rise above it.

Over time, by showing up again and again, I began to build the confidence I once I thought I lacked. I find myself in spaces where I'm not just speaking _ but doing so clearly, persuasively and with conviction. I became someone people listened to. And it all began when I chose to stop listening to voices that once silenced me.

Research even supports this transformation. just shows that self-belief, repetition, and mindset play a huge roles in overcoming fear and build self confidence. Public speaking anxiety is one of the most common fears, but the good new is : It's conquerable. Not by pretending fear doesn't exist _ but by accepting it , work with it, and showing up anyway.

So if you're struggling to find your voice or you feel held back by back criticism, let my story reminds you: you don't need any one's permission to grow. You don't have to stay silent. Let pain teach you but _but don't let it rule you. Stand up, speak out, and watch how the world begins to listen.

Words by Solange_Inspired by pain, reborn through purpose