FEAR

Fear is something we have to deal with all the time. And the list of fears and phobias out there is already extremely long.

It’s like new phobias are constantly added to the list.

Some of my family members are for example afraid of doctors (me included).

But I have been getting the feeling, lately, that our lives revolve mostly around fear.

We act and react to fear.

We can all imagine, that living based on our fears is not a fulfilled life.

My personal Story

One of my biggest fears revolved around career.

It scared me so much, that it took me so long to go for what a really wanted.

I only took what was straight away available for me. Of course, I wasn’t happy with this approach.

These fears came from my outside world, like schools, officials, acquaintances, and work colleges.

Their so-called “well-meaning” advice, weren’t helpful. Instead, they were fear based, coming from people who don’t try themselves.

It took a lot of work to let go of this fear. A fear that wasn’t true in the first place.

So I started step by step.

First, I went to job fairs with my friend, went to career counseling, signed up for courses and did a huge makeover on my application forms, and of course did deep research for potential jobs out there.

This seems like a lot, but I did it step by step.

I also had to figure out why I was afraid to go after better paid jobs with better working conditions.

This fear came from my outside world. And I just took over, not questioning it.

If you also struggle to find a new career/job, let me tell you, they are out there.

It’s just that some people in your surroundings like to convince you that they aren’t out there.

This is far from the truth.

Just because someone else thinks there’s no better options out there, doesn’t mean you have to.

Of course, getting your dream job won’t happen overnight. There is some effort required. But it’s well worth it.

Why fear blocks us

I’m not trying to say that fear is a bad thing.

It’s important, when you’re in actual danger (facing wild animals, for example…).

But being afraid of following a job you want, doesn’t count as dangerous.

It’s just our bodies reacting to an unfamiliar situation, and it thinks it’s in danger.

This makes us not doing anything about it, even when it’s about something we truly want.

Going back to the career example: the Worst case scenario for you is getting a rejection, which also doesn’t count as dangerous.

It’s worth trying anyway.

Another reason, why fear blocks us is, when we’re in fear, it’s easier to control us and keep us small.

The news we watch on TV or read about are masters in that.

It doesn’t mean that everything they share isn’t true, but a lot of it is fear based.

For example, it amazes me on how many older people believe and complain about young adults not working and because of that, they believe our future is doomed, just because they saw it so on the news or somewhere on TV.

I personally don’t know any young adults who are unemployed.

If at all, they are overwhelmed at first and need to start somewhere (I can relate!).

I do know older adults that are still far away from getting retired, but are unemployed.

Not that it’s a wrong thing, just saying.

That’s why I don’t count this information as true.

That’s one of the reasons why it’s a good thing to question fear based information, before accepting it straight away.

When we accept fear based information, it can make us feel afraid, judgmental, upset and angry.

All of this caused by information that may or may not be true, perhaps even partly true.

I find the most confusing news is those that are not true, but also bring in information that is true, making it hard to tell what’s true.

It even makes us hold each other back, instead of pushing each other forward.

Imagine how successful you would be, if you were surrounded by people with a mindset, that anything is possible?

Fear of rejection

I’ve just mentioned a bit about fear of rejection. We fear rejection. It makes us feel unworthy and not good enough. We might even feel bad about ourselves.

But why? Who says we’re not worthy or good enough to do the things we want to do? It’s mostly ourselves saying it to us, and people in our surroundings, that wants to hold us back from living a more fulfilled life.

Is it even a reason for us to stop?

Hell no!

Sometimes there is a reason for rejections.

Sometimes finding a new job is like dating. You need to keep applying and getting rejected, until you get a fitting job offer.

Of course, it feels great to only hear nice things about ourselves, but the times when we actually grow is through rejection.

Rejection makes us into better people.

How?

With every rejection, we go through a learning process.

This learning process makes us develop into better people.

It gives us more knowledge and wisdom, than in areas where we’re already good at.

So instead of fearing rejection, we should welcome rejection and learn from it.

But where do we start?

Start with your mindset.

As simple as it sounds, it takes a bit of practice to change your mindset.

The thoughts we have determined the way we think about the world.

So if our minds are filled with fear, we will think the world out there is a scary place.

In addition, we will attract more fear into our lives, more than necessarily.

Whenever you come across a fear that’s holding you back from something you want, it’s time to dig up why you’re afraid and what you’re afraid of.

So let’s take a different approach.

Instead of fear. How about concentrating on all the good things happening out there.

Think about the fun events taking place in your hometown or festivals.

Think about your favorite places you like to go to.

This doesn’t mean we should challenge fear (Please don’t walk alone at night through a dark ally), but you get what I mean.

You could also think about all the good things you already have or are happening for you.

It’s a great way to practice gratitude.

For that, just grab a pen and journal and start writing down all the things you’re grateful for.

This could be your Gratitude journal.

You can do this practice daily or weekly or every couple of days. But I strongly suggest doing it. It’s a lovely practice.

If you haven’t practiced gratitude yet, you could start with writing down three things for what you’re grateful for.

Here are a few examples:

I am grateful for being able to drink a hot cup of tea every morning.

I am grateful for being able to nourish and nurture my family.

I am so happy and grateful for having a movie night with my loved ones.

It doesn’t matter how small or bis the thing is you are grateful about.

When practicing gratitude, you start seeing the world with different eyes. Therefore, you attract a more positive sight on the world.

Here a few other tips for attracting a more positive mindset:

Stop watching news, or at least narrow it down.

Be picky of what news channel you watch or read about.

Remember to question fear based information. Don’t just accept it.

Instead of checking in on what everybody does out there (via social media…), focus more on your interest.

You could for example listen to a podcast about gardening, if that’s your true passion.

Make time for your hobbies. If your hobby is dancing, maybe take a course or dance to yourself regularly in front of the mirror.

Make time for your friends. I know the older we get, the busier we are. However, talking to a good friend can lift our mood. Even if it’s just a phone call to check in on them.

Meditate. I know this one is already widely spread, but it works. It only takes a couple of minutes a day. 5 to 10 minutes.

There are plenty of meditation techniques out there to try out.

Grounding. Grounding keeps us balanced, and it doesn’t through us easily of track, when something unexpected comes up.

Ways for you to ground could be gardening, going on a walk, walk barefoot, holding a crystal or rock in our hand and feel the energy of that rock, swimming in a lake or at the beach.

Another way to practice grounding is through visualization. Just imagine roots growing from your feet into the ground, connecting you with mother earth.

Thank you for reading until the end. As always I appreciate it. If you have more ideas on how to face fear, please feel free to share with me.

For more information, check out: https://thechannelingwitch.wordpress.com/ and my Instagram account @kaylavendel.

Blessed be,

Kayla