Deal Breakers in Relationship, A First With The Husband, and Family Religion

Creating a healthy relationship with yourself and others leads to a fulfilling life. These prompts are an invitation to step inside yourself. Take a deep breath. Shuffle the deck. Pull a card. Write your heart out. Rupi Kaur

- 21 degrees

oh please

no trip to the river today,

time to write on this day!

Rupi Kaur's Relationship Writing Prompts - What are your deal breakers in romantic relationships? List them in order of importance.

My deal breakers are mainly active addiction, as I have done that before. Alcoholism, drug addiction, food addiction, sex addiction. It appears easy to switch addictions.

With my current husband, it is snuff. When I got involved with him it was for the friendship. I am allergic to smoke, and he didn't smoke. I thought no problem until we were a couple and the snuff made it difficult to kiss, as you may imagine.

My husband takes really good care of his teeth and mouth, so it shouldn't be a problem when it counts but it is. I love alcoholics and addicts. The addiction is the most important to me. Snuff I can accept, as it could be worse, and I know that.

Although, I have a friend who didn't start a relationship because the guy chewed snuff. Too late for me as I was hooked before really falling in love with him, and before I knew we would become more than friends.

Not too bright of me but it happened. Thankfully he works a good solid recovery program and no other addictions have shown up. Politics has been another problem however with 45 and now 47. We figured out that we will be okay though.

If I ever have to get involved with another, they will have the same political beliefs as I do. That has become more important than his chewing snuff.

Rupi Kaur's Relationship Writing Prompts - What's a "first" that you're excited to experience with a partner?

We want to live long enough to experience our first great, great-grandchild. That will be fun and an experience we will both enjoy! We are loving our grandchildren as we age, and what an experience a great, great-grandchild will be.

One of my friends is expecting her first and she is 8 years older than me.

The other thing I hope to experience with my recovery partner is having 50 years in recovery. That will happen for me at age 76, and for him at age 90. The chip recognition has an L for 50 and our last name is Lindquist.

Silly, I know but what else is there to live for when in your 70s. LOL

Rupi Kaur's Relationship Writing Prompts - Describe your family's relationship with religion. How do you think this has impacted their views and your own?

My father was in Christian boarding schools growing up, as was my grandfather, who lived with us after my father died. My mother grew up Catholic.

My mother and her sisters continued to practice the Catholic Faith to help make Kateri Tekakwitha a saint. They went to large gatherings to recognize Kateri Tekakwitha in other states and in Minnesota they helped to sponsor a gathering.

Kateri Tekakwitha was named a saint in the US a couple years after my mothers death, in 2012.

In many states certain religions ran boarding schools. There were primarily Catholic and Episcopal religions in the state my family was from.

Our Native American people, including my grandparents, parents, and I had no religious freedom until I was 24 years old. Our religious freedom in the culture has been slowly growing. Much has come above ground, and some never will.

A couple examples I give are my first time smudging was with hippies. The guy with the smudge bowl said, "It cleans your aura, man!" I had no idea what an aura was at the time.

Then a co-worker used to say that science is catching up with ceremony. He said that when the consciousness of water studies were happening with Dr. Masaru Emoto. And the tree hugger studies that showed it really will make you feel better!

He would say, "Science is catching up with ceremony. Something our people have always known."

Many Native American families have loyalties to the Christian religions they grew up in and have no reason to change that. I understand that as my favorite teacher was a fourth-grade nun, who was good to me and met with me individually after my father died.

I understood why she was a Catholic.

My mother put us in Catholic school as she believed we would get a better education. I went through the 4th grade and my siblings through the 8th grade.

I think that was true, and I started my children in a Catholic school and when they moved to public school they were ahead of their classmates. That showed in several ways.

None of my 5 siblings nor I continued in the Catholic church, other than choosing to be buried there. I attend a spiritual program for recovery and I attend weekly water ceremony and maintain some spiritual practices of the Anishinabe people.

One brother is a fundamental Christian. And others are not attending church. My brothers may say their spiritual practice is spending time in the woods/outdoors. My sister before her death joined the Midewiwin community and practiced the Anishinabe cultural beliefs.

Our more traditional Native American people appear to be okay with whatever people wish to believe. Some will say though that we probably should not mix those beliefs.

There are Christian ministers in my family, and traditional Midewiwin people who practice cultural beliefs and everything in between. It's all okay with me. Even the Russian Orthodox grandchildren whom appear to be similar to Jehovah's Witnesses in some of their beliefs about an afterlife.

There is more to say, and I could go on and on about this topic but I will end here.