Bloody Mary for Your Soul (with the possibility of a prize if you play along)
villanelle of regret recovery with a spicy rim. No olives—it’s not a tomato martini. Oops, forgot the lime. I’ve decided to follow the leader and give a $1 tip to the best answers to the questions (one for each question). If you’ll take a penny for your thoughts, why not a Bloody Mary for your soul?
We're all trying to rise up out of the mire of those old, stagnant regretful feelings that are so universal that it's hard to find precise words that feel fresh and forcing them into that insanely tight structure (I bend rules as much as I can and adhered to the rhyme scheme but threw caution to the wind and indulged in some free metre, iambs and trochees dancing into their new freedom). It's no wonder that so many literally do not survive the winter holidays.
Yeah, that paragraph really brought you up, didn't it? No, you silly wordsmith, of course not. I'm manipulating you, showing you how down I am and convincing you that my emotions are yours. But am I down? I'm down with a lot of things, but there's also a ration of shit that I am definitely not down with, beginning with the mockery that has been made of the American courts, thanks to Mitch McConnell pushing all of those unqualified nominations onto the bench to give the verdicts their people want. And Bojangles chicken is more supreme than the current court of the highest order of rapists.
But I digress (one of my super powers). Let’s shake that shit off and have some fun. Anyone remember Paul Manafort from the first Trump disadministration? I’ve always wondered: How many forts could Manafort man if Manafort could man a fort? Feel free to submit your answer and a hilarious explanation of it in the comments.
If you could carry anything in the universe in your pockets, what would your pockets contain? Again, feel free to answer this question in the comments. Personally, I would have a river, a beach, part of the Atlantic Ocean, a couple of mountains from western North Carolina, and another trip to golf course with my granddaddy. And maybe a flamingo and some stardust.
If you could relive one kiss from your past which one would you choose? I would have that perfect one again, as many times as possible, lips clinging together like wet silk with stardust and the cosmos watching in awe, delighting in the magic of that moment.
I hope everyone feels a little bit less regretful—Guiltmas is coming.
As always, thank you for reading. Please leave a link to your most batshit crazy piece for the enjoyment of the community.
About the Creator
Harper Lewis
I'm a weirdo nerd who’s extremely subversive. I like rocks, incense, and all kinds of witchy stuff. Intrusive rhyme bothers me, but I'm slowly stepping out of my comfort zone. Watch me grow!
MA English literature, College of Charleston
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Here is mine https://shopping-feedback.today/poets/impossible-ab25ya0xm8%3C/span%3E%3C/span%3E%3C/span%3E%3C/a%3E%3C/p%3E%3C/div%3E%3C/div%3E%3C/div%3E%3Cstyle data-emotion-css="w4qknv-Replies">.css-w4qknv-Replies{display:grid;gap:1.5rem;}
Bahahaha! "And Bojangles chicken is more supreme than the current court of the highest order of rapists." So true, so true. King Taco has a Nacho (much of a) Supreme Court who's sorely lacking in the rule of law. You missed your calling to be a stand up comedian - you'd certainly have more than enough inspiration with today's clowns in charge. .....(though DJT may end up on tireless rants to pressure Vocal to suspend your account....and then I'd have to go and cancel my membership just to make a point....) Well, it sounds as though you know precisely how it goes.....
Winner, winner, chicken dinner! Jonn Cox has the best pockets and Matt gets to man a fort.
Here's my pocket inventory: A mood-swinging chameleon: It changes colors based on your emotions, so you’d basically have a living mood ring. Bonus: it could double as a fashion accessory when you’re feeling extra stylish. A tiny orchestra of hamsters: They whip out violins and cellos whenever you need dramatic background music. Imagine walking into a meeting with your own hamster symphony swelling behind you. Instant gravitas. A jar of bottled laughter: Whenever things get awkward or gloomy, you pop the lid and unleash contagious giggles. It’s like carrying a portable comedy club in your pocket.
My pockets would contain three things: My dad's house in Jamaica, which would remain with me until I received the apology I need, when he abandoned me. Next, a nice, docile, yet fierce-looking crocodile that would serve as my personal, instant boundary to keep all the needless drama and BS away from me. And finally, I'd carry the Northern Lights in a tiny, contained shimmer because I am too broke to ever see one, and I need that magic to cheer me up, lol. 😝♥️🤗🖤
Personally, I wouldn't carry anything in the universe in my pockets, because I'd prefer to travel light and let the cosmos guide me on a journey of discovery and adaptation, letting the cosmos envelop me, and show me everything that cannot be seen from Earth. That way, my journey would be very light and I would enjoy it more.
Btw, my great-aunt gave my husband permission to give me that kiss: it’s the one that followed “You may kiss the bride.”
I’ll declare the winners in another batshit po-mo piece after the leaderboard is posted next week. I promise it will be fun and completely insane.
Brilliant. I don’t know what made me laugh more …. The pic of McConnell or the ostrich. Will spend the evening pondering what I’d carry in my pockets…..
The real question is whether or not you’ll sell me your soul for a proper Bloody Mary (only missing a lime wedge). Depending on your soul, it might be a good trade. 😈😈😈
Thanks for this I will add it to the unofficial list story
let it be known that I had a long comment about manafort forting but i'm turning it into an piece about fixed fortifications to be published later.
If your wit was a rapier, I would need to look long and far to find a worthy soul to cross blades with you. From iambs and trochees to Mitch McConnell the human turtle and Bojangles chicken in the same bleedin' paragraph, not sure I can top that or even want to try. For a fellow who prides himself in finding the right quote I am positively gobsmacked at the William Faulkner gem you used to tag the photo of old gobbler neck Mitch. But eternal fool that I am, with fear and much trepidation I will attempt my foray into the fray. Question 1: Zero. Men like him do not man forts. He pays people to do that. Question 2: Memories. Like my mother bending to kiss my forehead when I was a wee laddie, her long wavy hair brushing my cheek. Or the steam escaping one of my grandmother's tender angel biscuits after I tore it open. Any of a thousand lingering kisses shared with my wife. Or her chasing me with a toothbrush through the house wearing one of my tee shirts and laughing manically. The first time I held our baby daughter in my arms and her big brown eyes stared intensely into mine. Or the time at the Frankfurt Zoo when my son took my hand in his and I treasured every moment of it knowing in my heart it would never happen again. Holding my baby grandson Campbell the first time he laughed, his throaty giggles stealing my heart away, again and again and again. The last time I saw my father when he was dying, emaciated from cancer and still just happy to see me and happy to be alive. Or any of a thousand memories of our family gathered for Christmas or Thanksgiving, the house filled with laughter and good fellowship. Question 3: Any kiss would do, but the ones ever present in my memory are those my wife initiated, her eyes so wet with the desire to know me that I experienced both terror and longing.
This is brilliant I loved reading it as I do withallyourwork 🏆✍️✍️✍️
Your mix of sharp wit and cosmic daydreaming always sends my brain spinning in ten directions at once. The Manafort tongue-twister nearly made me spill my coffee. As for the pocket question—pretty sure I’d tuck away a thunderstorm, a jazz riff, and maybe a small moon just to keep things interesting.
If I could fit anything in my pocket, it would be a solar system. Not necessarily ours, but one that I could take out and stare in amazement at its colors and majesty as I watch it float in space. Okay, enough daydreaming, back to chapter 3.
I do enjoy how your mind rolls lass. This made me chuckle especially the woodchuck chuck reference to the right wing politician I can't remember anything about. I shall come back and answer the questions in suitable Paul fashion