Awkward...

Inspo: A grumpy pessimist and an outgoing ball of sunshine

It all began with a vest of flowers. Honeysuckle, baby's breath, arborvitae. White and green. The concoction of greenery smelt the greatest in the morning’s maternal muffling, and felt it’s best time of renewal during the sombre evenings – dusted with the kisses of purples and glares of reds. Sometimes, the flowers swayed one way, and in another way once some other lovely soul caught its gaze.

Today wasn’t one of those days. In fact, the vest seemed to be unyieldingly focused on one peculiar person for a long time now.

“Hey, Xavier! Could you get my pants real quick?” Ronan softly called out from his bedroom upstairs.

Xavier groaned in response.

He was enjoying the silence of his bedroom downstairs, the feeling of cold, dark and the sense of contentment. Xavier would’ve loved it more if he didn’t stupidly agree to go out for dinner with Ronan.

He got up from his position on his bed – coloured in blacks, whites and greys. He loved it that way. Clean and professional.

Xavier didn’t really dislike his roommate that much, just that…

Ronan in Xavier’s eyes is… Well, let’s just say, is just way too damn nice.

Why does Ronan need to smile all the time? It’s not like Xavier was handsome or anything. Or that he had that much muscles. Or that he had any luscious locks his painting partner deliberately sways in front of him.

Xavier is… Just Xavier. Straight forward, rough speaking with his buzz cut and scowl that made him seem too unapproachable. Not for Ronan though. Never Ronan.

In fact, Ronan reflects the direct opposite of Xavier.

Ronan loved every moment in the sun, every time he got to spent with Xavier, everywhere that had flowers blooming. And not to mention, the way he smiled, dimpled-like, at every little thing Xavier did, regardless of whether it was stupid or not, filled Xavier with the odd feeling he had been dealing with for quite some time now. Butterflies, that’s what he’s experiencing lately.

Like usual, Xavier’s mind wandered to those feelings of butterflies in his stomach and what it meant.

He waved those thoughts away for now; he didn’t have time to fantasise about his roommate or his dimples. He quickly dragged himself towards the balcony, that his scandalously buttoned up floral shirt was swaying against his arms. Xavier gripped the pants Ronan asked him to get, embroiled with chamomile and his signature sunflowers, and went straight upstairs to his room.

Without even a second thought, Xavier walked in, pants in one hand and the other in the pocket of his black trousers.

“I got your damn pants, Ronan. Do-”

Shit.

He. Is. Changing.

Eye contact. Maybe too long of eye contact.

Xavier, with his impulsive behaviour and rather stupid actions, failed to consider that Ronan might’ve been changing into his clothes. Or at the very least, be almost naked, saved for the fact Ronan was wearing grey boxers.

Ronan, after being transfixed in an unintentional staring contest, grabbed his towel and wrapped around his waist.

“Uh… Heh, um… Maybe you should knock next time, Xav.” Ronan sputtered out awkwardly as he took the pants in Xavier’s hand and made his way into his bathroom.

Xavier was stuck in place, his eyes dazed and his jaw dropped.

Did… Did he really see his roommate, his friend that he’s supposed to be only feeling platonically loving to, almost naked?

Oh, what the fuck is wrong with me? He thought to himself as he played the events over and over and over again.

Was he creep? Or just damn stupid?

Xavier was frozen on the spot, still surprised, long enough that Ronan walked out fully clothed by then.

It wasn’t until he heard the soft, gentle breeze of giggling coming from Ronan’s chest, that he felt that time unclasped its grip on him. Stopped punishing him for being so damn weird.

“I… I am so stupid. I shouldn’t have done that and-and you didn’t deserve some creep to just walk in on you!”

“Xav, breathe-”

“And not to mention, that you were almost naked and I… I… I… Just waltzed into here like I own the place! I am so, so, so sorry, Ronan. I promise, really, really promise that I-”

Ronan clamped his soft hands onto either side of Xavier’s chiselled face and caressed his cheeks.

“Xavier, breathe. I know you didn’t mean to nor did you intend to seem me almost naked.”

Xavier’s chest slowly fell and rose as he took deep breaths in and deep breaths out.

In, out.

In, out.

In, out.

He allowed the gentle presence of Ronan calm his storming mind, his racing heart and his erratic shaking. Like a river stream being unblocked from pollution. A hand to a heart.

“Okay… Thanks, Ronan. But still-”

However, Ronan beat him to it.

“Uh, no. Don’t you dare go on another rant, Xav. I know you’re genuinely sorry. Don’t worry about it. It’s not like you haven’t seen me almost naked before.”

Xavier’s face dusted with a deeper red now, cheeks burning and lips quivering.

“You know this is an entirely different context! Yes, I have seen you almost naked but that was in the locker rooms at the university. This is your bedroom!” Xavier regurgitated.

Ronan giggled his soft melody and kissed Xavier’s nose. He pulled away and made his way to the door.

“We got to go soon, Xav. Or you know, our dinner won’t be eaten.” Ronan hummed and slipped out of the room.

…

…

What the fuck just happened. Xavier thought to himself.

In the span of 20 minutes, he has experienced almost all the emotional spectrum in one go. From anger, irritation, annoyance to fluster, regret, guilt and then to excitement, embarrassment and appreciation.

What the fuck.

Xavier smacked himself to his senses and trudged out of the room.