A Memory, Biggest Regret, And Cheating

Creating a healthy relationship with yourself and others leads to a fulfilling life. These prompts are an invitation to step inside yourself. Take a deep breath. Shuffle the deck. Pull a card. Write your heart out. Rupi Kaur

Let it go

Maybe the bow

to tie these prompts up and move on

Let it go, done and gone!

Rupi Kaur’s Relationship Writing Prompts — A family memory I wish I could forget is ________________.

Why religious freedom had to take so long for our American Indian people to get? In 1978 I was 24 years old and that is when it became legal to practice cultural beliefs. In an America that was based on religious freedom, many escaping to practice their beliefs here. It doesn’t make sense, so let it go?

I’ve found it is still news to most that this occurred. It has come up from underground slowly, and some things will never come above ground. Our people were punished for practicing traditional ways.

There has been fear and mistrust any time something has changed, including the 1978 Indian Child Welfare Act and Religious Freedom. Christianity is embedded in our peoples' ways and lives, even with religious freedom some will never see the beauty in some of our ways.

My mother would talk in a whisper, almost like someone may be listening in. Her parents practiced Catholicism. In a storm, she would burn both palm leaves and sage. Different things like that growing up make it difficult to understand and trust. So let it go? No. Not yet.

Rupi Kaur’s Relationship Writing Prompts — My biggest regret when it comes to my family is _____________________.

Our family is not fluent in the Ojibwe language, due to boarding school, and not wanting their children to be punished for speaking the language. This made it not possible to learn the language from parents as grandparents who spoke the language fluently, made the decision based on their experience to not teach their children or grandchildren.

Why not learn now or as an adult? That is my biggest regret. I continue to learn the language slowly. I have taken college classes but unless you are around language speakers it is difficult to continue learning.

We learn better as children. I still remember the basics of German and Spanish. Counting primarily. I know how to count in Ojibwe as well. That does not make me fluent in any of those languages. I have family on both sides of the family who are learning the language with some being fluent.

My children know a bit of the language. My oldest knows many of the animal names in Ojibwe for example. His wife said she was surprised when she quizzed him that he knew so many.

Rupi Kaur’s Relationship Writing Prompts — What is your definition of cheating within a romantic relationship?

My definition is having sex is cheating, with someone other than my husband. Then there are all kinds of things that can move ‘just friends’ into that place.

I determined that I was not good at having male friends. I tried that between my second husband and my now husband. I was only going to have male friends.

When married young at 17, I decided that I wouldn’t look at other men. The exception has been my brothers and close relatives. I can be cordial with other men, but not go any further than that.

Not looking and being cordial has worked for me, as I have not had any interest in cheating on my part within my romantic relationships. Not in thoughts or deeds.

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First published by Mercury Press on medium.com