Jersey Shore, Whirlwind Edition

I opened an eye. It was still dark.

Mrmpf. I hate getting up early. But I'm the one who decided on this festive swaree, and I'm the person who set the schedule, so I'm the one who has to haul my own prodigious tushie out of bed and get on with combobulating.

(Yes, I know how to spell soirée. Have you met me? Have you read my stories? I have swarees. Like a crick is a creek till there's un unexpected application of a herd of cattle, and suddenly it's a crick. And you're up it without a paddle. My life is weird.)

But my bestie was up, and she said the bathroom was open, and I had a Grandiose Plan (tm) to hit the lower part of New Jersey. One of the piers, Gillian's Wonderland, is closing in a week, and they have a carousel. Being quite the appreciative viewer of All Things Going Round and Merry, hubby and I decided to take a day and see it in action before the place shuts.

Well, while I'm at it, might as well check on the squishie situation, right? I'm sure there are pressed pennies I haven't acquired down thataway, right?

Last I checked, the answer was no. We love Cape May, and try to sneak down there often. I had gotten all the squishies... except one. Wildwood isn't usually on our schedule, because we like going to the stranger beaches, like Sunset Beach for Cape May diamonds. And the squishies are at a place that's only open during season, and we avoid crowds. And parking on the shore! It's something else, that's for sure.

But when I check the map... Hunh. TWO squishie locations in Wildwood, a new squishie machine at Cape May Zoo, plus they have one of the national park tokens, and if we go that way, I could pick up that squishie that just popped up, and then we could get in some beach time, and oh yeah the reason we're going hit the pier, and then there's another squishie there they just put two new machines in...

By the time I was done plotting, I had seven stops for a day's trip. I may be a bit of an overachiever.

But we were out the door a bit after 7:30 ack emma, off and running! Er, driving.

We don't take the fastest path. Why should we? If I ever morph into some caricature of a 50's father on vacay screaming COME ON COME ON LET'S GO LET'S GO, time to take me outside and gently beat me with a massive pile of pool noodles till I see sense. It's supposed to be fun, right? Path less traveled and all that.

Down through farmland, and sun rays peeking through the trees, and a very polite doe that waited behind the state land barrier before crossing the road.

Eventually, through esoteric means (combustion engine, propulsion, evaporation of liquified dinosaurs at high temps), we land at Milburn Orchards in Elkton. I needed apples, anyway. We usually get stocked up at a local-to-us orchard, but our schedules were a bit wonky, so why not? I like trying different species, seeing how the taste compares. I got Mutsu and Royal Gala, and the squishies of course. The Royal Gala has a nice light taste, and this year's crop is good and crisp. I usually refer more robust apples with deeper notes (Liberty, Crimson Crisp, Carousel), but hey, fresh apples! How do you like them apples?

Off and driving, to land at Cape May County Zoo.

Oh boy.

Traffic wasn't bad, don't get me wrong. We've been down thisaway when we couldn't even get on the bleeping road leading down, but apparently everyone decided to check out the zoo. Did I mention they're expanding the parking lot, but not yet? And added zip lines? And an extra chunk of zoo? It was a definitely a zoo getting in, over, around, full lots all the way around, so much people, many humans. Hm. Maybe let's not, 'tis a silly place? How about we eat lunch in this parking lot, then take off for Wildwood? Yes, that would mean cutting out Sunset Beach too, but we can come back another day. Later. On a weekday. And when we can land a bit earlier.

So we noshed. We pack our own feed, because of my dietary restrictions, plus my bestie's. Some of my regular foods – peanuts, bananas – are verboten, so cashews and raisins instead. Hubby and I make our own sandwiches the night before to keep the gluten away from her, and she makes roll-ups from the sliced meat and cheese we bring. In this case, low-salt sliced turkey and provolone. With baby carrots, and mandarin oranges, and some cheese wedges, it's a nice meal. We were facing the wooded area where the zip lines were located, so we enjoyed the scenery. And an annoyed pileated woodpecker, yerk-ing away in the trees. I caught a fleeting glimpse once as it shifted vantage points. I played the game of “spot the native species growing in a disturbed area.”

We did a bit of walking to keep from stiffening up, then off to Wildwood.

Don't get me wrong, Wildwood is a fine place to visit – for some. But bestie and hubs and I visit beaches for shelling and pebbles for jewelry, not for sunbathing. And our shopping tastes are very eclectic, and we can't eat the typical shore food anymore. So it's difficult, is what I'm saying. And people. Lots of people. And parking spaces filled to the brim.

We tried to get a parking space, I circled the block like three times to get a lot at a decent point to get both squishies (about 4.5 blocks from each other.) That very much didn't work – and that's when we noticed all the motorcycles. A rally! Well, that explained a few things. I dropped off hubby at a boardwalk ramp near the first location, circled again, and again, and picked him up on the third round. Off to the next one, and that area was fuller! So, umm... well, let's say I put my hazard lights on and parked where I shouldn't have, and hubby once again braved the boardwalk to get the squishies. Bestie and I stayed with the car, because it's not fair to just park and enjoy when it's not a proper parking spot. This one took a little longer, because apparently the store had just moved, and Cerberus blocked the way. Not kidding, they have an animatronic Cerberus guarding the machines. I'd show you a pic, but hubby only took video. Sigh.

In case you're keeping count: first stop a success, second stop too full so skipped, third stop too far out of the way, fourth and fifth accomplished with some degree of difficulty. And a cow statue, with a mailbox jammed into the place where the butthole should be...

Alrighty then. Mooving right along.

On to the sixth, the boardwalk in Ocean City, to see the carousel.

Did I mention all the Florida plates? And North Carolina plates? Hurricane Helene's wrath has led to displacement (understatement, that), and things like that have repercussion ripples.

I'm sure that has nothing to do with our missing the last parking space in not one, but TWO lots...

We did find a place in the third, thankfully, and rather close to our goal. I literally girded myself (back brace, helps me walk without having to lean on a crutch for my dorked up knee), and off we went.

And as we're walking, bestie spots a place. She's known for liking mid-afternoon ice cream (vanilla – with her food issues, it's usually what's safe), and she's mentioned that her dad used to go down to Ocean City to help out a relative at his ice cream shop.

Occasionally, when she mentioned it, I'd look up the name, thinking I might find something? Turns out, I was putting in the wrong spelling.

And we walked by one, on the way to the pier! She looked at me, and I nodded. Yes, indeed, we would be partaking on our way back!

But first, a castle entrance, very old whirling letter blocks spelling out WONDERLAND in colorful letters, and lots and lots of people! Because we're not the only ones who saw the news articles, and came down to say goodbye. For me that's a little bittersweet, because I didn't have a hello to say goodbye to. My parents weren't big on boardwalk vacations or pier amusements, and somewhere around Cape May (I think??) in the long long ago, my mom associated “pier amusements” with “games of chance,” and that was the end of that.

She wasn't big on things like roller coasters or other rides, so she'd sit out the rides when we went to Dorney or Hershey as a kid. I love my mom dearly, and I'm very glad she's still with us, but dang she has some downright odd ideas about certain things.

Anywho, grabbing the reins and steering us gently away from my psychoanalytical side quest...

The carousel was right inside the arches, and off we went! Now, I gotta say, this one was unusual in some ways. The color scheme was brown and orange, which was already an unusual color combo. Then the cross beams had no extra decoration flairs at all. There were lots of painted panels, but the ones on the rounding boards and the scenic panels did not match the new color scheme. Which makes sense for the older antique carousels, the horses especially are repainted often because of wear and tear of so many people riding them. And, oh yeah, all the horses were gray! Well, okay, they were painted white, but they're considered gray horses. It's a heraldic color thing; like why orange cats are called red cats.

And it even had a brass ring dispenser! That part wasn't being operated,but I did take pics of the mechanism. And, as an aside, the best carousel for brass rings is at Knoebel's Amusement Resort in Elysburg, PA. Hands down.

I do wonder what the original colors were, but it was nice to see what looked to be some of the original painted panels on a lovely carousel. All three of us took pics when the ride paused for the passenger switch, and we leaned into the line a bit to take pics of obviously empty horses. Do you know how fast protective parents can calm down when they realize you love the mechanism, not taking pics of other people's kids? Though I did have a cute interaction with one little one: she was having none of this mask-wearing for the best reason, the fact that I looked like a monster to her. Yes, I still wear my mask in public, and yes, I still haven't gotten that pernicious and quite contagious disease yet. There have been times I've unhooked for a few seconds to show kidlets that it's just a pice of clothing like any shirt or jacket, but not in this packed space. So I said I'm human, it's just a mask, and I'm just taking pictures of the horses, and I waved. Nope, no dice. Even Mom was trying to reassure her, and nope, no way. So I did the only thing I could think of, which was to dramatically slump my shoulders and side shuffle away. I think that worked. Would a monster shuffle off? I waved again, took a few more pics, and moved on. Kidlet didn't cry again, so maybe it worked?

We stayed for far longer than I expected, taking pics and videos and just enjoying the atmosphere of being near a carousel. Ride it? Sorry, can't. I'm a pudge with a wonky knee. Getting on and off the horses – and of course I'm finicky enough that I only want to ride the jumpers. Chariots are okay, I guess, but just remind me that I can't ride the jumpers. Hubby and bestie didn't ride either, but they could have, and they know it. They've done it before, and I'm sure will do it again.

Reluctantly, we finally left. But hey, ice cream! Or should I say, frozen custard? The recipe is different, just ask them, they'll tell you. I went to sit at a bench on the boardwalk while frozen custard was acquired. Orange / vanilla twist for me, peanut butter / chocolate twist for hubby, and standard vanilla for bestie.

While that was happening, I had a funny case of deja vu. If you've read my story Kindness Carousel, it happened again! Only this time the original story was on my mind, and I expanded on the theme. A lady sat down at the bench aside of me, wrangling a very young and very squirmy toddler. Dad had gone on the custard acquisition quest, and we were on the far side of the boardwalk. Toddler Did Not Care, toddler wanted Daddy! But Daddy would be juggling custard for self, and Mom, and toddler, and adding said toddler who could not hold his own cone would not have lasted the trip crossing the boardwalk. Oh, the angst! Oh, the wailing! Oh, the hangry! Because that's what it was, it was plain to see.

Mom tried her best, but very few forces outside gravity are as strong as Hangry Toddler. So, hey, Random Babushka Type to the rescue!

I stood up, and bounced over to toddler, who was plopped on boardwalk and trying to pull his arm out of Mommy's grip. “Oooh, that looks like fun, can I try?” And while he looked up at me, I waved my fists in the air and wailed while bouncing up and down on my toes. “Is that right?”

Poor kidlet, I broke his brain. Imagine that face – scrunched, tears running down face, eyes swimming with more promised tears coming, mouth open so you can see teeth but with both center lips curled so it looks like a sideways figure 8 but with baby teeth (how do they make that face?). And, bless what neurons were still firing, that poor kiddo shook his head No.

“Oh, that's not the right way to do it? Let me try again-” And I flapped my arms like I was trying to fly, wailing and bouncing. “Is that better?”

Again, the head shake.

“Hunh, I'm not doing this right. Should I do the hula?” Wave arms side to side, still wailing a bit.

No.

“What about this?” I wave my arms like I'm trying to fend off a swarm of mosquitoes.

No.

“Should I try to fly?” I flapped my arms long and slow, like an eagle.

No.

“Ugh, I just can't get this right! I give up.” I flopped dramatically on the bench, and though the theatrics distracted kidlet for a moment, he was back at it when Mom tried to sit him on the bench. My own custard was rapidly approaching, so I knew his wouldn't be far behind. “What's not to love? Ice cream is coming, and you're at the beach!”

And as I took my first bite of creamsicle goodness, Mom asked her kidlet, ”Where's the beach?” and kidlet immediately swiveled to look at the ocean behind us... and calmed down! And stared at the waves rolling in till a chocolate cone appeared in front of him, and all was right with the world.

The frozen custard was nommy. We nommed. Kidlet nommed. We chatted a bit with the family we'd just met, and parted ways when we decided there was a beach to explore, with an entrance right aside of us, that it was a Sign, we must away to the shoreline!

And we'd missed Sunset Beach, so a makeup beach?

Now, I've been to a lot of beaches. A LOT. I take sand samples, I look for what pebbles show on the beach, and how healthy the ecosystem looks, keeping in mind where the beach is located. Inner bay, outer barrier island, at the mouth of an estuary? It was one of the things I was trained for in college. Ocean City was a new one, with its broken shells and no pebbles and healthy-looking seaweed and incoming tide. The shell bits were thick, indicating good healthy animals beyond the surf. It's lovely with the wind and sun, and we loved our little idyll.

But we needed to move on, eventually.

We wandered back to the car, stopping to pick up a new plushie for our granddaughter. A very enjoyable day, but it's time to go home. Three and a half hours to get bestie home, then another hour and a quarter for us to land.

And so we did....

...through a storm of dragonflies, thousands of them, for miles and miles....

Into the dark after sunset, though we missed the deer on the road, because I'm not a fool to drive fast on secondary roads at night, and the nimrod on my back bumper might have learned that the brake pedal isn't a decorative accessory.

When we landed, we had a very late salmon dinner. We packed plenty of healthy snacks, so we chomped on raisins and cashews at a rest stop. I made a few glass beads as it baked. I'm pleased with my new earrings, but the mini lighthouses need work. Dinner tasted good, though, but I was flagging, and needed to conserve what little deal I had left to get us home. And I did. And fed my butterfly (yes I have one that can't fly, so she's set up in a nice habitat), and went klunk. Because that was a lot of driving.

A quite satisfying day, with more squishies, carousel horses, cute kidlets, and lovely scenery.