Bucket List

Tim sat back in a weathered camping chair. The fire crackled, casting shadows onto the shoreline dancing shapes onto the sand. The flickering light ebbing towards the waning tide. The orange and red hues of the sunset bled into the horizon as Tim fumbled through his olive Patagonia duffle bag by his side.

His bare feet crossed at the ankle feeling the warmth of the fire as he pulled out the little soft-covered black notebook and opened it to the bookmarked page with the title “Bucket list” Scratched at the top.

He looked over the list: Taos, Huntington Beach, Red Bluff, Kauai, Zugspitze, Belize.

He took a pen from his shirt pocket and checked off the last box next to “Belize” as he sat back with a sigh as a soft smile formed across his bearded face.

“What a beautiful sunset, huh?” A women’s voice said coming from behind him. Tim turned to see a couple walking towards the fire pit carrying drinks dressed in classic tourist attire.

“Sure is. Where are you two visiting from?” He asked as he put the notebook down on top of his duffle bag.

“Oh, we’re from Michigan, needed to get away from the cold for a bit, ya know? This is my husband Pat, I’m Deb.” She said cheerfully.

“Nice to meet you both, I’m Tim. Please take a seat if you’d like.” Gesturing to the vacant chairs surrounding the fire pit.

The couple sat down and they all gazed out at the sunset for a minute.

“This is our first time to Belize, how about yourself Tim?” Pat inquired.

“This is my third time. I’ve been coming here ever since I got certified to go scuba diving. It has been a while though since those hurricanes swept through a few years back…”

“Those were just terrible!” Deb exclaimed clutching her shirt. “I am so glad they were able to recover from that. What a horrendous thing to have to go through.” Pat shook his head in agreement.

“So back from more Diving Tim?” Asked Pat, sitting back in his chair crossing his leg over his knee taking a sip of his cocktail.

“Maybe, I…I haven’t gotten that far yet.” Tim looked pensively down at the fire. Hunched forward his hands folded together, his arms resting on his knees.

“Sorry, I uh, did I say something wrong?” Pat said apologetically, trying to backpedal a bit. Deb swatted his shoulder maternally as if reprimanding a child for being rude.

“No, it’s ok,” Tim said reassuringly. “I've just been traveling a lot. for most of the year actually."

He gestured to his stained Hoodie, camping pack, and general unkempt attire.” and I haven’t decided yet what my next course of action will be after today.”

“Well, that sounds exciting!” Said Pat, looking back at her husband and then back at Tim. ”Where all have you been?”

“Oh man, all over. Tim sighed. Started in Taos, New Mexico. Then a few places in California, and then Hawaii.

“That sounds just remarkable.” Said Deb.

“It’s been a wild trip. Most recently I was in Zugspitze in Germany. Now... I'm here.” Tim opened his arms out wide gesturing to the beach and sitting back in his chair picking up his water bottle and taking a swig.

“How long have you been hoofing it for?” Pat asked sipping his cocktail, clearly not his first.

“8 months. ” Tim said plainly

“8 months? Wow.” Said Deb. “How did you decide on all these places?”

Tim set down his water bottle and looked over his shoulder towards the ocean. The sun had dropped below the horizon and the oranges were fading into purple as the night sky started to take over. You could see speckles of stars begin to peek their way through.

“Well,” Tim started to get choked up as he cleared his throat. ”Um…my best friend died last year” Tim looking into the fire, the light reflecting off the tears welling up in his eyes. His face starting to scrunch together.

Deb gasped and set her drink down as she sat upright in her chair. Pat uncrossed his legs and shook his head closing his eyes inhaling and exhaling deeply.

“Tsk, oh honey I'm so sorry,” Deb said through frowning lips and compassionate eyes.

“Thank you, yeah it kinda happened outta nowhere.” Tim felt a lump growing in his throat as all the emotions came flooding back.

His best friend Evan had been dealing with some health issues for a while. But, being the type to not want to bother others with his problems, had kept it close to the vest. Because of Covid, He hadn’t been going out or seeing anyone either so the only other person who knew was his wife, Mary.

The night before he died, Evan had fallen trying to walk to the bathroom, and once Mary had managed to help him finally get the toilet, they discovered there was blood in his stool. She called Tim, who immediately came over.

Tim took one look at Evan and said, “He's going to the hospital, now.”

To say he was Jaundice, would be an understatement. He looked like a Simpsons character his skin was so yellow. He appeared postictal and had lost the ability to stand.

When the EMTs arrived, they loaded him on a stretcher and were trying to get any information as to how Evan had ended up in such a devastating condition.

“How long has he been like this?” They asked in disbelief.

Tim then learned Evan had been like this for nearly 2 weeks. Being a proud man, and not wanting to admit anything was wrong, Evan had argued with Mary that he was gonna be fine and declared he was not going to the hospital.

This is how it ended up here... In the front lawn in pajamas at 2:30 in the morning in 32-degree weather in Vancouver Washington having Evan loaded into an ambulance.

Tim folded Evan’s arms across his chest, kissed his own hand, and placed it on Evan’s forehead as they loaded him into the back of the ambulance and sped off towards the hospital.

Mary and Tim followed closely behind. Since they only were allowing 1 visitor due to covid restrictions, it was obviously his wife, Mary, who went in alongside him. She texted Tim with up-to-the-minute updates as she got them.

Evan’s liver had failed, and they were planning on doing and emergency transplant, but then his kidneys started to shut down. Evan went into complete renal failure…and died.

Tim wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. “He died of renal failure.” He said with a quiver in his voice.

“The most devastating part of it is that he knew something was wrong, and if he had gotten treatment sooner…” Tim began to cry gently, then reining himself in, began to just breathe deeply.

“Hey, I’m sorry,” Tim said. “You're both on vacation. I don’t want to burden you with my problems.”

Deb transitioned to the chair next to Tim and put her hand on his shoulder.

“Honey, it is ok, we don’t mind. I am so sorry sweetheart.” Deb said consolingly.

“Well, I've clearly missed something. Are you ok Tim?” Said a voice coming from the Villas behind them.

Tim looked up from the fire, seeing Mary walking back to the beach from Villas. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve as he began to introduce her.

“Mary, this is Pat and Deb, they are on vacation from Michigan, and I was just telling them about Evan and how this trip came about. Pat and Deb, this is Mary, Evan’s wife.”

Pat looked back and forth between them befuddled. Deb too had an anxious look across her face, not sure what to make of the situation.

Mary chimed in.

“Tim, they say our Villa will be ready in about an hour. Pat, Deb, nice to meet you both, I’m Mary like Tim said. Let me say something as I think you might be getting the wrong impression here... Tim and I aren’t together, in case that is what you were thinking.”

Both Pat and Deb sighed with relief, not realizing they had been holding their breath since Mary had walked up.

“It's alright, We've gotten that a lot on our trip, common mistake,” Mary said, trying to lighten the mood. “So Tim's told you about Evan, and why we are on this trip. Has he gotten to how the trip even came about?

Pat and Deb shook their heads.

Mary gesturing to Tim, “Do you wanna…?”

“No, you go ahead,” Tim replied. “I’m all emotional over here,” chucklingly self-consciously.

“Ok, well my Husband was a remarkably thoughtful and considerate man. A few weeks after he passed, I was picking up around the house, and I saw his little black notebook on the nightstand next to his side of the bed. He was always writing little notes, and ideas down, so I decided to open it, and inside he had…”

Mary stopped, as her voice broke. It was clear by the expression on her face, however, that the overwhelming emotion was one of love, not of loss.

“He had left me a letter, that he must have written when I was at work. That read… Tim?

Mary extended her hand towards Tim. He handed her the little black notebook that was sitting on top of his duffle bag.

Mary flipped towards the beginning and read aloud”

“Mary,

I know these past few months have been hard on you, hard on us. I hope you know how much I love you, and will always cherish the many remarkable years we have spent together. The home we built, our friends and family, our cat, Benjamin, may he rest in peace. But besides getting to spend every waking day with you, the thing I will miss most of all is all the life-changing trips and adventures we’ve gone on together, and won’t be able to create anymore.“

Mary then spoke directly to the group. “Then this beautiful man wrote, ‘turn the page to the bookmark’ and folded up on that page was a check for 20,000 dollars. As well as instructions for Tim and me to travel together to a ‘bucket list’ of places that he always wanted to go back to.”

“All the places on this list were places that Tim and I had traveled with him to at different points in our lives. He was very clear that he wanted us to go together because... 'everything in this life is better when it is shared, he wrote, and he wanted us to be able to have these memories together.”

Mary was openly crying as she spoke. Standing in front of the fire. Looking out over the inky black waves of the Belizean ocean, and feeling the wind blowing through her hair, a tear slid down her cheek and dropped to the sand.

“So yeah,” Mary said, wiping her eyes. “Tim and I have been traveling, and spending 1-2 months in each place on this list, and we just got here today, the last one.”

Mary looked across the fire at Tim. Tim looked back at her with a teary-eyed smile. He got up and went over to Mary and hugged her tightly.

“Thank you for going on this journey with me,” Mary said lovingly.

“Of course, I wouldn’t have missed it for the world,” Tim replied.

- The End