Lessons I Wish I Had Learned

Yesterday I had a melt down. I just flipped out all by myself because I couldn't find my favorite dress. I threw all the clothes in my closet and dresser looking for it. Then I realized it was in the dryer and I was so relieved even if I had a lot of clothes to pick up off the floor and put away again. It's a silly dress by fashionista standards. I paid about $20 for it at one of those hard-to-get-to unique stores. It's like that dress that Charlotte was wearing in Vegas when her best gal pals (a scene from Sex and the City) were making fun of her. They said it wasn't classy, kinda cheap looking, kinda "sluttyish"... Charlotte just shrugged. She liked the dress and the way she looked in it. That's exactly how I feel in my favorite dress. It's size XL and stretchy polyester material. It's lightweight and cool and comfortable. It's a simple pattern style design and it accentuates the curvy body. It's perfect for my body. Do you know how hard it is for an inverse triangle body to find a dress that looks good on? Almost impossible. The dresses that they sell at the big name brand department store that go for $50 or more and have the sizes that cater to the above size chart, don't care about my body or the bodies of plus-sized women or the bodies of curvy women who defy that size chart. They never have. And we have driven ourselves crazy trying to keep up with the Jones's and the Kardashians with all the reindeer games of "What are you wearing?" and "Where did you get that thing?" instead of just finding what really looked good on us. Who cares what other's think? How do you feel in it? Do you feel fabulous? Then you found the right dress.

I only have one perfect dress in my closet at this time. It's that XL maxi-dress I just mentioned made out of stretchy polyester. Some will call it "cheap" or "tacky" but I really don't give a dang. I love that dress and I know there is no other dress at any store that makes my body look better. Most of the dresses that come in "better" material are too tight, too hot, too uncomfortable, and make me look like I'm wearing a potato sack. You want me to spend $50 or more on some yucky dress because it has a big name and will make me look like a Walrus. Um, no thank you.

I was going to start making my own dresses. I've been thinking about doing this for the past 10 years. I had a sewing machine, but it got lost during one of the major storms. I never got another one because I truly don't know how to sew. I can't knit or crochet or sew by hand either. I've tried. I've had women try to teach me. It's not just a lack of patience, it hurts my hands. And even with my best eyeglasses on I can't see the eye of the needle so I can't thread the needle. I gave up on hand sewing, but the sewing machine is still something I can probably learn.

Recently I discovered that Joann Fabrics is out of business. After two bankcruptcies this year (2025) their 800 stores were shut down in May. Michaels acquired the assets and is keeping some of the brands in a new updated fabric section. I'm glad that there are still places to buy fabric. I was afraid we would never be able to make a dress that fits right again. I know it is hard to find a taylor these days, but wearing ugly clothing just because I can't sew is like a nightmare. So for those who buy fabric for their own designs, there is Michaels, Walmart, and Hobby Lobby. I'm going to save every morsel of fabric from my cheap thrift store clothes from now on because I know how expensive it can be.

On a finishing note, I just feel like I got gyped in my education. After 6th grade, there was not one Home Economics class available to take as an elective. Why? Why didn't the schools teach me how to sew? Because typing was going to make me enough money to buy $100 dresses at the mall that make me look fat? Um, that didn't work out.

Why did I have to take Algebra and Geometry, but not one course in Auto Mechanics? Because if I know what an obtuse angle is that will pay for a new tire or my car insurance? Um, that didn't work out either.

Yeah, I got gyped big time. And the worse part is, those mean girls from high school who made fun of my cheap sneakers --- they never went away. But I don't care. I'm going to wear my favorite "cheap, slutty" dress regardless what the mean girls think or say. You go spend $100 on a dress designed for a toothpick. Have fun with that size chart.