"It's the thought that counts."

It's Mothers' Day (Mother's Day? Mothering Sunday?) tomorrow here in Britain. I am going out for lunch and may have to dress up. I am looking forward to it. There is an expectation of gifts too. Who doesn't like a gift?

My son has just come back from an emergency shopping trip. I am sitting, doing a little reading and writing on a Saturday morning as I let my porridge settle before tackling the ironing. He has shouted to me:

"Don't turn around! Face forward!"

It is an order with which I am prepared to comply. Gifts have been purloined and I am insisting on a surprise even though he wants to give them to me now.

He's impatient. He also doesn't want to look for a place to hide them. He's also excited to see my reaction to what he's bought me. It's quite sweet really.

"I hope you like them, Mum," he says.

So do I!

I wonder what he's bought me.

"I saw Kate (a friend's mum) just now and she said, "Are they for your mum?" and I said "Yes" and she said "Ooooo, she'll love those" and I said "Don't tell her" and she said, " I won't!""

The curiosity deepens.

"See? I got you gifts! Gift-s! That's right!"

Really I'm just glad that he's bothered to go and get something. Anything. A card would have been enough. He could have picked flowers from the garden and I'd have been happy.

And so I tell him:

"You know, I'm grateful for the fact that you thought enough of me to want to get me something and that you've made an effort. Thank you."

He's a teenager so forgive him when I tell you that he replied in a sing-song, I'm taking the piss out of you kinda voice:

"It's the thought that counts."

I frowned at this because yes, it is! It is the thought that counts. Absolutely. 100 per cent. It's the thought that counts.

I mean, acting on that thought if it's a good one is also important but the thought is the instigator and so, yes, it counts.

Time for a life lesson. He loves Mum's lectures.

"It might be a cliché but don't disparage or diminish it, my boy. The gifts are nice but ultimately, it is the fact that you have chosen to get me something that's important. I repeat: I'm grateful for the fact that you thought enough of me to go out and get me something. That means a lot."

And it does. It does mean a lot. It makes my heart swell with the perceived warmth that he loves me and wants me to feel appreciated. It would be nice if this extended to the other 364 days of the year but I'll take this.

What it got me to thinking about is how we use these phrases without thought to their actual message, this one being a perfect example.

Has it lost its power because it has become a cliché? How do we help it regain that power? Is it just a case of rephrasing it?

It's the idea that matters.

It's the thinking that brings the twinkling. (I quite like this one)

It's the vision that does not cause derision. (Bit literary and clunky)

It's the thought that counts.

Still the best and I have to say placed against those others, it sounds more punchy. Maybe that's the problem. There is no other good way to say it and so, like a top-notch carpet, it's in danger of becoming worn because there is nothing else to replace it.

It's in the person delivering it, I think, where the power lies. It shouldn't just be thrown out like some common group of words. A moment should be taken before its delivery into the cosmos to just stop and manifest exactly what this phrase means.

Because it means such an awful lot. It is about respect. It is about consideration. It is about kindness. It is about acknowledgement. It is about people. It is about relationships and healthy, loving ones at that.

It is about caring and in a world where apathy and cruelty and violence are king (or trying to be), it is important. Vitally important.

So, this person is going to imbue meaning into that old adage every time she says it, pronouncing it with all the gravitas of Judi Dench reading a Shakespearean sonnet.

Because, and I know I'm repeating myself, it is the thought that counts and it deserves a delivery that passes on the seriousness of its meaning.

Thoughts count.

My only other thought is that I just hope that when it's uttered with the forthrightness I give it, that it is received in the same way and not with a teenager's eye roll.

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