Day 35 of My 40 Day Fast: Reflecting on the Ordinary Things I Take for Granted

Fasting opens one’s eyes to the small things in life. I miss the basic things and fasting makes me appreciate them every time.

I miss having energy. When I fast, my mornings are slow going. I no longer have the energy to hop out of bed and start my day. I lay awake and stare up at the ceiling willing myself to get started. Fasting, particularly long fasts, can take their toll mentally. I need to sit and drink water for awhile. It makes me realize there are people who struggle to get out of bed in the mornings.

I’m not at full strength. I get winded throughout the day, and each time I miss having energy. Fasts are spiritual for me. For this fast I’ve been writing and publishing daily, which is not usual, and then getting into meditation and mantra chanting. The further I get into a fast, the more chanting is required. So, fortunately my activities are light.

I miss going to the gym. Fitness has been part of my life since I was a teenager. I enjoy taking care of my body, but I can't exercise while fasting. I don’t have the energy for it, and also fasting is a time of isolation.

Starting my days with a workout sets me up for a good day mentally, emotionally, and physically. I feel refreshed, and my energy and mood are at what feels like optimal levels. Fasting reinforces how much I need it and truly love it.

I miss cooking. It doesn’t need to be said that fasting makes one miss food, but it’s more than that. I tinkered around in the kitchen throughout life, but mostly depended on my mom for good homemade meals. It wasn't until I began healing a severe gut disease that I really took on the challenge of cooking my own healthy homemade meals.

Creating dishes that taste good, are good for my body, and are reminiscent of the foods I ate growing up, both Indian and western, has been a years long journey. One that is ever-evolving, and I'm still learning tricks to up my game in the kitchen.

I’m trying to incorporate more fresh herbs and spices over their dried and powdered counterparts. I keep my meals as whole foods as possible. I’m learning the best methods for food preparation. The process has become enjoyable, rather than infuriating. If something doesn’t work, I consider it a challenge. Fasting has the added benefit of giving me the time to think up new techniques for meals.

I miss finishing off my day of creating on the computer with a creation from the kitchen, and then sitting down to enjoy. Sometimes I get a small feeling of pride when I make something good, because I've come a long way.

I miss reading. That time to myself when I sit and relax with a book seemed so small, but in retrospect it's everything. It's summer now and I’d often spend beautiful weather reading outside. In cold weather I curl up with a book and blanket, and get caught up in another's life and adventures. I don’t read while fasting, because again it’s a spiritual time spent in isolation praying, meditating, reading scripture, and chanting.

I miss me. I don’t feel like myself when I fast. Although it can be said that fasting takes one to a deeper part of themselves. This version of me, this low energy girl trying to keep her spirits up, doesn’t feel like me. Simply being able to be ourselves and live our lives is something I think a lot of people take for granted.

I like to keep to a schedule because it give me a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. While I feel a sense of accomplishment at the end of each day of this fast because it’s one day closer to the finish line, this isn’t my usual schedule. I like structure in my days, and I like the one that I built.

It’s funny, fasting is so isolating and during it I always tell myself to take myself out more, and then I don’t. My diet is quite restricted for the time being, and most restaurants just don't serve what I’d consider healthy meals. However, there are places that are trying to and I want to try them, but I don’t. There are also things I enjoy doing, but as soon as my fasts are over I go back to my regular schedule. I like to keep to myself, and I enjoy the meals that I make. Fasting brings to light how much I keep to myself, and perhaps a change would be beneficial.

Fasting puts things into perspective. The things I take for granted are the things that make life worth living, and it’s good to be reminded of that every once in awhile.

If you’re wondering why I’m doing this fast, you can read about it by clicking the story below.