A Hellish Dinner

One would think that Hell is like that place described in the movies, full of flames, demons, and a smell of sulfur, but surprisingly it looks a lot like Utah, but with more Mormons.

Joseph Stalin has been in the Underworld for several decades, mainly because he was a totalitarian dictator, executing millions of people and starving a few million more. Having created thousands of forced labor camps didn't help much in his defence.

Steven has been here a little less time. He worked at a digital marketing agency and never thanked the people who held the door for him. Also, he enjoyed watching videos on his phone at full volume without using headphones no matter who else was in the room with him.

Two horrible guys, if you ask me.

Another thing you would expect from Hell is that life there consists of eternal torture. It's a pretty nasty place, but as the owners describe it: "Hell is the little things."

Joseph and Steven became friends easily, but each night they had to go through the torturous task of choosing what to eat for dinner. This doesn't happen during breakfast or lunch because there is only one option in those cases: Corn Flakes that have been in the milk for so long that they are quite soggy. However, for dinner the inhabitants of the Inferno can choose, they even have their own food fair with different options very similar to those you would find in the land of the living. That doesn't make the choice any easier, but the duo tries to solve their daily dilemma.

一Have you thought about what we're going to eat today, Joe?

一Every day is the same. You leave the decision to me and then you complain about my choice, why don't you decide for once?

一Oh sorry, I thought that since you have much more time here than me it would already be easy for you to decide.

一It's never easy. That's the point.

The pair wander through the food fair. Nearby there are tables and in the center, there is a fountain that everyone tends to avoid because if you get too close it smells like what vanilla extract tastes like.

一Are you hungry for chicken? We can go to the KFC But All The Employees Are Vegan And They Judge You While They Serve You.

一I no longer go there since I had an argument with the manager.

一The one who always comes by bicycle?

一The same.

Steven begins to realize the harsh responsibility that he avoided for years. Something similar to when in life he used to leave the shopping carts in the middle of the parking lot.

一I think since I got here I have never been to McDonald's But The Fries Are Always Old, today could be the day.

一Steven, you more than anyone know my opinion about that capitalist shit. Also, the Happy Meal no longer brings toys.

一Well, there are quite a few free tables near the Panda Express But All Cold Drinks Are Hot And Hot Drinks Are Cold.

一We ate there two days ago, I'm sick of it.

一Well, sir, you are not making this any easier.

一Yeah, yeah… Let's just go to Subway But All The Chairs Have Unlevel Legs and problem solved.

一We may be dead, Joseph, but I didn't eat at Subway when I was alive, less now.

As the options ran out, they both began to despair. Stalin even considered the idea of ​​intermittent fasting that Steven talked about so much.

一I'm tired, let's eat in our favorite place and save the decisions for when I'm not in such a bad mood.

一Are you suggesting we eat at Applebee's But Waiters Sing Happy Birthday To You All The Time?

一Yes.

一Ok.

一Joseph, and what are we going to eat for dessert?

The question tormented the Russian because in Hell there is only ice cream for dessert, rum raisin.