#21

#1 Getting through the time of the month without breaking up with your boyfriend, disowning your family or being an object of embarrassment.

"I think I'm due." The first glimpse of stomach pains, spotty skin and an uncontrollable urge to kill someone, simply due to their stupidity.

Do we ever know when we're due? Or am I just one of the lucky ones who has no idea whether it's today, tomorrow or the end of next week and simply has to judge it on the length of time I can tolerate bullshit without snapping someone's head off. "6.7 seconds, I got four days in me."

Us women are the lucky ones, because not only do we have to deal with the unknown, the ongoing countdown, the constant linger of the word we can't even say out loud without being looked at strangely, when we count a few more days than normal (what we consider normal) which varies month to month, we then have to enter the realm of possibility.

What if I'm pregnant? What if this is me missing a period? What if my life is about to change forever? So you decide to leave it a few extra days...

You're good. You come on half way through the day without a Tampon in your handbag.

#2 How to avoid being an object of embarrassment?

Firstly, never leave the house without a tampon and a pad, and I firmly mean both, no women wants to be stuck in the toilet wearing and a thong with only a pad handy, believe me it's a 'sticky' situation.

Secondly, wear black, and I mean wear black all month long. If in doubt, wear black or repeatedly ask close friends or long term boyfriends to check you when you stand up, (discretely.) if your choice of checker is a man, remember to remind them each time that lowering their head, moving closer to your ass and nodding is not I repeat no discrete.

Lastly, have trousers with pockets, make a conscious effort to buy trousers with pockets, deep pockets that it is, you don't wanna one hanging down your leg because for some reason their packaging insists to be the brightest green, the brightest purple and the brightest whatever else #brandingproblems. Pockets are essential, you don't have pockets and you end up sitting in the office going back and forth to the toilet with your handbag, receiving funny looks from male co-workers, "where's she going", or you make a go for it, and girls if this is your only chance, pace yourself, assess the situation, move quick, grab it out the bag, stick it in your waist band and pause for a second, carry on typing, act normal, and then move move MOVE! #YouRebelYou

Then you have the tampon problems, the 'have I lost my tampon', problem. The 'am I going to die of toxic shock syndrome or worse yet, have to go to the doctors and be examined for the only dignity I have left problem.

We've all been there, or maybe we haven't, but it isn't a place I would recommend visiting...

This one’s simple. Out on the lash? Boozy night with the girls? On your period :( Where a pad. Speaking from experience, you do not want to wake up the next morning and go for a pee only to realise you are missing a tampon.

Spend hours reading multiple near death experiences on chat rooms, do some personal searching, google what position is most effective, only to find the tampon, out of its packaging in your bathroom sink, alongside your heels, a half melted lipstick and a 6 chicken nuggets receipt. #ClassyBird