Voyage of the Doom Goblin

I have a strong aversion to sanctimony, do-gooderism, and "activists" of any persuasion. Sorry, it's just the way I am. I don't understand those self-righteous souls who set out to "save" the world from itself. The world, bubbeleh, is not "you." I reckon it will still be here, in all its ugliness and infamy, long after you (whatever constitutes that which you ultimately are) has ceased to be.

Greta Thunberg—referred to as a "doom goblin" by Sky News host Rita Panahi (whose "Lefties Losing It" segments are sometimes amusing—apologies to my friends who are lefties)—is setting sail with a number of like-minded cultists aboard a yacht with a piffling amount of "humanitarian aid" (a token gesture, really), intent on delivering it to the war-ravaged Gaza Strip.

The U.S. and Israelis—those nearly universally hated twin entities that draw so much of the world's wrathful ire as well as its immigrants—have already embarked on a new vessel of aid for the Palestinians, despite the fact that Hamas (and ultimately Iran) refuse to lay down arms and release the remaining Israeli hostages. Typically, in a time of war, you aren't expected to offer aid and comfort to the enemy who are actively trying to KILL YOU—but I suppose Israelis must be held to a different standard, especially if "Great Satan" is the one backing them.

Okay, so nothing makes any logical sense anymore. And then we come to Greta "Doom Goblin" Thunberg, who—the cult of adoration surrounding her being made up of people who look as if they would follow her in blind, sheep-like submissiveness over the edge of a cliff—has the same mien as a Jim Jones, with none of the charisma. This is typically the way of religious devotion, no matter your metaphysical bent.

Greta is the typical unsmiling, glum, unattractive, and eternal bleating obsessive-compulsive "professional demonstrator" whose life revolves around a series of abstract causes. None of these causes impact her life, and none are likely to from now until the time she shuffles off the mortal coil. Regardless, she started by lecturing planet Earth and points beyond from her podium and pulpit about the threat to the environment—which may or may not be true, I don't really know enough about it to comment or decide either way—but even if it is true, Greta delivers her kiddie kvetch as if she were an Old Testament prophet amped up on Reddit posts and Diet Faygo.

Some words of wisdom from the Prophetess are here presented, to further elucidate the pythoness-like wisdom of her so-holy utterances:

“We must change almost everything in our current societies.

The bigger your carbon footprint—the bigger your moral duty.

The bigger your platform—the bigger your responsibility.

Adults keep saying: 'We owe it to the young people to give them hope.'

But I don't want your hope.

I don't want you to be hopeful.

I want you to panic.

I want you to feel the fear I feel every day.

And then I want you to act.

I want you to act as you would in a crisis.

I want you to act as if our house is on fire.

Because it is.”

Fear. Guilt. Panic. Worry. Feel BAD. C'mon, jump on Greta's Truth Train, boys and girls. Risk your life in some idealistic photo-op trying to deliver a piffling grocery bag full of "aid" to people who hate and want to kill you anyway. The Gretas of the world will be lauded by like-minded lemmings as great, heroic, noble, self-sacrificing, wise beyond their years, if not directly divinely inspired. I haven't heard Greta yet claim she can offer moksha or Nirvana, heaven or anything else remotely resembling salvation in a paradisiacal afterlife—just yet. Greta seems to like to foster feelings of extreme anxiety and guilt in bourgeois, impressionable, clueless young acolytes and devotees, many of whom, were they offered the cyanide-laced fruit punch, would line up to guzzle the stuff, all the better to wash away the self-loathing guilt associated with their "privilege."

I'm not saying this crowd isn't drowning in "privilege." Just that they should spare us all, shut the f*ck up about it, and just learn to enjoy the fact. Some of us would KILL to have some of that "privilege." So, I dunno, go dig some ditches, or lay some pipes, or clean some restrooms at the Marion Bus Terminal.

In closing, I have to say: Some people assure you that they are only acting out of a deep sense of "love for humanity." That their chief motivation is "social justice," and that they are selfless instruments of a "higher order," wishing to bring about love, brotherhood, and universal "equality."

Keep an eye on those motherf*ckers at all times.

Love and napalm.

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