The Kerfuffle over the Right Wing’s Insistence on Conjuring Alternate Realities

Apparently, I do not have the ability to claim alternate realities as real. I don’t know how this happened, but I’m stuck watching this reality that most of the world seems to see the same as I do. I just do not have the skill set that will elevate me to the alchemy necessary to conjure a living reality that no one but me can see or experience. I’m just a little jealous of most of the right wing for their collective abilities to see plot twists in events that I just do not see at all.

Take this election kerfuffle over who won. I think what’s real is that Joe is the President currently. I’m pretty sure I remember that he won the election. However, I keep hearing people talk about how he is not the President, that he is drugged up, that Obama is really the President and that paying our national bills is against God’s will, are apparently all real things. Man! Where was I when all this was going down? It’s not just those things, either. Apparently, I fell through a time and reality portal and now I can’t match reported reality with my memory.

When did daughters begin to affect a judge’s ability to interpret the law? For that matter, when did a couple of lawyers in love provide the basis for “Russians to escape like Russians will”? And how did any of that justify trying to gin up a reason to force anyone to find enough votes to make the other guy win? And how does all of that justify a gang and a half of people who are so insecure that they think the world is as crooked as they are and therefore the only way the other side could have won is by cheating because that’s how they win? Is that the new Republican cure-all? Gay therapy doesn’t seem to work either, you know? Oh, I forgot, I do not have the ability to recall the universe that all the King's horses and all the King's men have put together to prove me wrong. My bad.

You see, I think my problem is that I don’t think any of these yahoos actually talk to, much less with, God. I’ve spent a good deal of time sitting around waiting on God to speak to me. It seems my cosmic internet connection modem is not broadband. I must suffer from some sort of attention deficit because I can’t ever find the meanings that God apparently shares with those who are righteous in his eyes. I’ve read the rules and I don’t get how what some of these folks do is righteous in anyone’s eyes, even if I use a Wikipedia definition to define righteous. They seem to be more nearly aligned with stupid rather than righteous, at least they are in the universe that I remember.

Here’s an example of the difference between what some folks consider to be righteous and what I think righteous is. Remember please that I suffer from attention deficit and cannot pay attention long enough to hear God speaking. There is a group of lawmakers who populate the righter side of the political aisle who champion the idea that God wants them to control what women do with their own bodies. The reason they give is a studied example of alternate reality reporting. As near as I can tell, this sect believes that God has told them that if women in their country abort a pregnancy, he will cause the stock market to collapse and he will then allow Jews to contract with space people, or whatever kind of life spacers are, to multiply brown-skinned people to marry all the white daughters and thereby wipe out whiteness forever. If that was on TikTok, I missed it. Either that or I got that Mandela thing real bad.

Another example of me missing obvious reality is with the whole thing about if you say that something that was bad was actually bad then you’re bad. Let me show it to you. Remember Liz Cheney? Speaking of how daughters affect their dads, she flatly stated that she clearly remembered that the events of Jan 6 were violent and were designed to prevent Joe Biden being sworn in as President. People are silly pissed with Liz for remembering what she remembers and saying she remembers it out loud in front of God and everybody. Her bare face was even hanging out for god’s sake. Then she had the unmitigated gall to co-chair an impeachment of the man who orchestrated the event as though he was actually responsible.

I remember events more like Liz than like Marge, for example. I remember seeing a Capital policeman having his head squeezed in a door by those peaceful tourists. I think I remember the country still being in the throes of a COVID pandemic that had mandated the closure of government buildings to non-essential people on and around that date. I don’t remember picnics on the lawn that day because as I remember it this event took place in January. I don’t remember love and peace signs being present on that day. I remember seeing articles illustrated with beautiful pictures about the peaceful demonstrations against the Vietnam conflict, I believe that's what it was called. In those pictures you can see those peace and love symbols. I seem to remember that those were all terribly peaceful demonstrations, especially at Kent State. In my memories, Nixon tried to divide the nation by pitting the Democrats against the Republicans. I seem to recall that did not end well for him. But it was all good, right? Oh yeah, and Jan 6 defendants are hostages.

The history I read said that Republicans of the time were embarrassed by Nixon’s unlawful behavior and urged him to acknowledge he’d fucked up. I guess I got one of those K-Mart history books because the one I got said Republicans at the time considered his behaviors to have been a stain on their party. The history books that today’s Republicans read say Republicans have passed a law that makes it illegal to ever admit that any Republican action is not ordained by God himself and planned with the personal input from God and his advisory staff of Christian Soldiers. These are the same folks who claim that a literary work written between 3500 and 1500 years ago for a population of humans who did not understand natural phenomena like earthquakes and solar eclipses is something that provides guidance for navigating the internet and international wars over wheat production and arable land, even without the lady in the dashboard. Those folks didn’t even understand that the earth was not the center of the universe. They damned sure did not understand quantum mechanics. They were just beginning to understand civilization through the art of goat herding. The literary work in question was written before steam power or mechanized food production. Hell, even war was conducted with spears and horse-drawn means of transportation if there even was transportation. At least that’s the history I remember reading.

These days, it's possible to hear people talking about a reality where Joe Biden is waging a border bloodbath. I haven’t found where that’s taking place although I hear it is. I recently heard that Joe had made Easter transgender or maybe it was those non-religious Easter eggs that groom children to be drag queens if Democrats don’t take care of human egg cells for all eternity. Not only that, but if Joe Biden were to win a second term as president the world will end and rich people will evaporate into pure cosmic white light.

I’ve missed a lot of history, unfortunately. If you can help me recall when the real events the Republicans remember took place I would appreciate it. If you could reference those events so I can sync my memory with the Mandela Effect Memory Correction Standard Practices recognized by today’s furthest right Republicans? I can’t follow along as it is now. Can you?

Here’s a little nugget I heard was an historical fact. I heard that the 10 Commandments were given to us humans because we couldn’t keep our word. When Moses came down from the mountain his descent marked the end of the dispensation of promise and the beginning of the dispensation of law which did not end until the dispensation of grace which we still mark with the celebration of Easter. Which is also the reason we dare to have patience with stupidity in Congress. But Congress may well be advised that patience is a hard thing.

This blog was first posted on April 25, 2024.

The Wright’s View is a blog written by John Worthington and is presented by The Business of Forging Agreement.

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