The Big Beautiful Backstab

From the moment their so-called "friendship" was made public, we all knew it was destined to implode in glorious, messy fashion. And honestly, who could blame us? 

The bromance had all the hallmarks of a Disney Channel original movie, starring two plucky preteens who pinky-swore to rule the world together and be besties forever. 

But with power, influence, and egos the size of Texas, it was only a matter of time before one of them tried to rewrite the script, and the whole thing blew up in true trashy reality TV fashion.

Now, fair on them, they had a solid first act.

Elon Musk was a devoted sidekick and quickly emerged as one of Trump's most prominent backers and biggest cheerleader during his 2024 campaign, reportedly pumping over $250 million into the re-election effort. But Musk wasn't content to just write cheques and stay in the background.

Nope!

He graced the stage with Trump at various events and campaign rallies, as if they were the dynamic duo of political theatre. He quickly became the talk of the town with his enthusiastic Nazi salutes, his DOGE chainsaw and adorable child-shaped body armour.

Musk even accepted a starring role as head of the newly minted Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE).

This glorified job title gave him sweeping authority to "streamline" federal agencies while supposedly reducing wasteful spending and combating fraud within the federal government. The fact that Musk's companies benefitted from handouts and less red tape is probably just a huge coincidence.  

But, like federal jobs, all good things must come to an end. And thankfully, for all of us who live for this drama, that end came not with a whimper but with the full melodrama of a bitchy Bravo reunion episode.

I personally thought the breakup would happen within the first month of Donald taking office, so points to them for perseverance.

So what finally broke them up?

What else…money.

At the centre of the fallout is Trump's latest legislative vanity project: the One Big Beautiful Bill (BBB), his attempt to revive and supersize the 2017 Tax Cuts and Jobs Act. That act, which heavily favoured corporations and the ultra-wealthy, is set to expire at the end of 2025.

At its core, the BBB promises sweeping tax cuts, notably for companies and high-income earners, in the name of spurring economic growth, boosting business investment, and creating jobs.

Yes, folks, we're back to the golden age of trickle-down economics.

And just like in the 1980s, the bill serves as a wrecking ball to environmental regulation, as it proposes deep cuts to regulations, especially those tied to environmental protections and clean energy. Why? To "unleash American energy" and boost traditional industries like oil, gas, and coal. Because fuck climate change, I guess.

This full-scale assault on the green economy proposes eliminating subsidies for electric vehicles and solar energy and slashing incentives that have underpinned the clean energy transition.

Simultaneously, the bill includes massive spending on defence and infrastructure without offering meaningful offsets, raising concerns among economists about a projected $2.5 trillion increase in the national deficit over the next decade.

And how will all of this be funded? Basically, by screwing over anyone who has the sheer audacity to be poor or working-class. The bill slashes non-military discretionary spending and guts vital social programmes like SNAP (food stamps) and Medicaid by imposing stricter eligibility requirements.

Opponents, including former bestie Elon Musk, have slammed the bill as both environmentally regressive and fiscally reckless, with Musk publicly labelling it a "disgusting abomination." I'm sure Musk's visceral hatred of the bill stems from its detrimental effect on the environment and not the fact that his empire of electric vehicles and solar panels stands to lose billions in tax breaks. Just kidding, we know it's the money!

Trump, never one to take criticism, fired back by threatening to revoke federal contracts with Musk's companies, including SpaceX and Starlink. In response, Musk escalated the drama by advocating for Trump's impeachment and stating what everyone knew all along, that Trump is named in the Jeffrey Epstein files.

So what's next for the former besties? Goodness knows, but I'm unashamedly here for all the drama.