PACO Calling TACO - 6

This conversation happened on October 14, 2025, after Trump returned from the trip to the Middle East where he negotiated and signed a ceasefire between HAMAS and Israel that resulted in the return of all remaining living hostages HAMAS captured on October 7, 2023.

"Hello, Donnie?" [cheerful]

"Yes, Vlad" [cheerful as well]

"Congratulations on the real big deal you brokered between HAMAS and Israel! Bravo, Donnie, this is well-deserving of the Nobel Peace Prize!"

"You really think so, Vlad?" [flattered]

"Of course I do! This is a major achievement no one has been able to achieve before you. Not Biden, not Macron, not Sisi, not MBS..."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. Thank you, Vlad, but I don't think this will be enough for the f*cking Nobel Committee!"

"Why do you think so, Donnie?"

"Because they want lasting peace, as they always say. And this is just a ceasefire. Just a ceasefire, can you imagine? As if that was so easy to achieve! I have made the return of the hostages possible, and who is going to thank me for that? No one! Even Bibi took it like I owe him something, that greedy cunning old ass!"

"Well, the relatives of the returned hostages looked very happy."

"That's the only good thing about this, Vlad! I looked good for doing that! So good, I loved the coverage in Israeli media I've got. But not in my own. Not in my own media, can you imagine! They could have praised their president for resolving such a long horrible conflict. But no matter what I do, it's never enough for them. If I bring peace and prosperity to the whole world, it will not be enough for my media. They are my real enemies, Vlad!"

"But the Times magazine gave you a cover titled 'His Triumph,' Donnie, and wrote good stuff in the articles about you!"

"But have you seen the picture they chose for the cover, Vlad? It's like they wanted to make me mad! They published the picture that maybe the worst of all time! They ‘disappeared’ my hair, and then had something floating on top of my head that looked like a floating crown, but an extremely small one. Really weird!"

"Where did you see the crown there, Donnie?"

"It's right there, on top of my head!"

"I'm looking at it and seeing nothing. Wait a second, do you think the letter M from the TIME title is a crown?"

"Nooo," [unsure, pausing] "Anyway, I hate it when they take pictures of me from below! Simply hate it! Look at that neck, it's like a gina."

"It's your neck, Donnie! I told you many times, you should loosen up your shirt collar!"

"No, they should have just taken a picture from a different angle! Simple as that! Just a different angle, Vlad! They couldn't even do that! Or they did this bad one on purpose, to insult me!" [getting aggravated]

"Alright, alright, Donnie, I understand your frustration. I also hate it when the media take unflattering pictures of me, especially when they make me look so much older than I really am!"

"And what do you do then, Vlad?"

"Well, I cannot control Western media that do that, unfortunately. My domestic media have been drilled to take good pictures of me."

"See? I wish I could do that! My media are my real sworn enemies."

"Well, you are making good progress on getting control over them. Now you will get CBS through the Ellisons and the new editor, Bari Weiss, right?"

"Yes, I'm so excited about it! Can you imagine 60 Minutes that will say good things about me! Only good things! That will be beautiful!"

"Yes, I know! I'm excited for you too, Donnie. Now let's talk about Zelenskyy."

"What about him?"

"I hear you are meeting with him this Friday?"

"Yes, he begged for my audience. Begged on his knees, Vlad!"

"Why? What are you going to talk about?"

"I don't know yet, I guess he will be asking for something. But I don't know what."

"I know, Donnie. He will be begging you to give him Tomahawks."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

"Well, I'm not sure about that."

"Don't give them to him, Donnie, or you will never be able to broker the solution for this war."

"I have to go now, Vlad, to the Medal of Freedom Ceremony for Charlie Kirk. Let's talk about this after I meet with Zelenskyy. Ok, Vlad?"

"Ok, Donnie. Bye for now."

"Bye, Vlad." After hanging up, "I don't like your veiled threats, Vlad."