Moscow's Calling - 26

This conversation happened on July 21, 2024, after Joe Biden announced that he is “standing down” from the reelection campaign to serve out his term.

“Hello, Donnie?”

“Yes, Vlad.”

“So, I guess you can start planning your next RNC in Venezuela now.”

“What d’you mean?”

“Remember how in your acceptance speech you said that if the Democrats win this election you’d have to do the next RNC in Venezuela because it will be safer there.”

“Uhm, and?”

“Well, with Biden stepping down from the campaign, I think the Democrats’ chances of winning the election will increase and work against you.”

“I don’t think so, Vlad. And please don’t even say that, I thought you were my friend. Aren’t you my friend anymore?”

“I am, Donnie, but who if not your friend will tell you the truth? Especially the friend who is rooting for you.”

“Are you still rooting for me, Vlad?”

“Of course, Donnie.”

“Well, then don’t say things like Democrats will win. Just don’t say it.”

“Let’s be realistic, Donnie. We need to work out a plan to undermine their presidential candidate, whoever she is.”

“She? So, you think it will be Harris?”

“Yes, I’ve been told that from the political party discipline and the financial campaign perspectives it will be the easiest and most pragmatic move for the Democrats, to nominate her. Especially because Biden has already endorsed her.”

“But she is nothing, Vlad! Big fat zero, absolutely nothing.”

“Didn’t you support her when she was running for the California Attorney General in 2011 and reelection in 2014? I was told both you and your elder kids gave her money for that.”

“Did we really? I didn’t know that!”

“How come, Donnie? I’m right now looking at the image of a check to Harris, signed by you, for $5K. You don’t know who you give your money to in political campaigns?”

“It was so long ago, Vlad! I was a Dem then, well kinda, and probably liked her as a prosecutor. She was tough on crime then, I just remembered. Very tough on crime. That’s why I probably supported her. Tough on crime.”

“Well, and now she is almost the official nominee, Donnie. What are we going to do about it?”

“We??? So you are still with me?”

“Of course, I don’t want Harris as a president. But she will be very appealing to women, younger voters, and the colored people. You and Vance will have a tough challenge matching that.”

“We will smear her on her immigration record, which is abysmal. Simply abysmal, Vlad. Also, my base doesn’t like her because she’s black and has a wimp for a husband. We can mount a social media smear campaign just based on that.”

“I don’t think it will help much, Donnie.”

“Well, we can also say that she will just continue bad Biden’s policies, especially on inflation and immigration. Bad policies, she will be just Biden in a skirt.”

“That’s better, Donnie, but I have to tell you, she looks so good in a pantsuit!”

“Do I hear admiration in your voice, Vlad?”

“Yes, why not. You have to admit your opponent’s strengths where they are due.”

“Wearing a pantsuit well?”

“Yes, Donnie, that’s a great symbol of the female power. She looks great, much better than all fat aunties in politics her age. I’m telling you, she will appeal to women and younger people.”

“Alright, you’ve already said that. I hear you, Vlad. You don’t have to repeat it. What do you think I should do?”

“I think you should challenge her for the debate before she does. That will show your strength and confidence.”

“Well, I kinda hoped that I won’t have to do another debate, after that disaster with Biden.”

“She is not Biden, Donnie. I’m almost sure she will challenge you to the debate. And if you don’t take her up on it, you will look weak.”

“I’ll think about it, Vlad. Although I don’t want to debate her at all. She is a good debater, she showed Pence.”

“I know, but you can get ready for it.”

“Ok, I’ll think about it. She is not an official nominee yet. I need to think about this, Vlad.”

“Alright, Donnie, I understand. It’s kinda late here, Donnie, I have to go now. But sleep on it and let’s talk more about our anti-Harris strategies.”

“Deal, Vlad. Good night.”

“Bye, Donnie!”