Moscow's Calling - 24

This conversation happened on July 13, 2024, after Trump was shot at his rally in Butler, Pa.

“Hello, Donnie?” [rushed and concerned]

“Yes, Vlad.”

“Oh my god, how are you? I’ve been briefed on the incident. It’s horrifying how closely that bullet was to ending your life!”

“I know, Vlad, isn’t it horrible? If I didn’t turn my head at that moment, we wouldn’t be talking now. We wouldn’t be talking at all.”

“I’m glad he missed. How are you feeling?”

“Pumped for the fight. Not scared, as some people say. Not scared at all. Did you see me throwing my fist up in the air? My supporters absolutely loved it! They shouted ‘USA! USA!’ and ‘Trump! Trump!’ so loud I wish I stayed there till the rally’s end. I wish I stayed, I was so pumped up!”

“I saw that, Donnie. You are so brave!”

“You can’t even imagine, Vlad, what goes through your mind when someone tries to kill you! So much goes through your mind!”

“I know, Donnie! I survived several assassination attempts.”

“Did you really? I didn’t know about that!”

“I did, Donnie, I just don’t like it when it’s reported in the media. So, we kept them all secret.”

“Oh, I see. But I wasn’t scared, not scared at all, Vlad!”

“So why didn’t you stay till the end then?”

“There was blood, Vlad, so much blood from my ear! I thought the bullet did a lot more damage. The Secret Service had to rush me out, to stop the bleeding. It was not safe to stay there. Not safe at all, with the active shooter situation.”

“Well, I’m glad they did and that you are OK, Donnie. What did the doctor say, will you have a scar?”

“Probably, because a piece of the ear got torn off. I’m disfigured now, Vlad! I hate scars so much!”

“Some scars are a reminder of people’s valor and courage, Donnie. I’d be proud of it if I were you.”

“Well, if you look at it that way, Vlad.”

“It’s a good way to look at it, Donnie.”

“Ok, if you say so.”

“So, did Biden call you as he promised so publicly?”

“He tried, many times. Many times, Vlad. I didn’t pick up.”

“Why?”

“Why should I? To listen to his politically correct crap about how sorry he is that this happened? I don’t need it. He needs this more than I do. He needs it so much more! Why would I give it to him?”

“That’s very cunning, Donald. Indeed, why should you give it to him, when all he wants is just to look a bigger man.”

“Right! He is probably the one who is behind this shooting!”

“I don’t think so, Donnie, but I guess it’s good for you to think so.”

“Why do you not think so, Vlad? Do you know something I don’t?”

“I might but I’m not going to tell you, Donnie, at least not now.”

“Ok, if Biden is not behind this himself, then his Deep State is! They’d do anything for him to stay in power. Anything, including killing me!”

“Alright, Donnie, you might be right but let’s see what happens and where the investigation goes. Let’s talk about something more pleasant. Did our good friend Viktor give you my gift?”

“He did, Vlad, and I was speechless! It was so beautiful and gorgeous! But why? You already gave me a present…”

“C’mon, Donnie, the passports were not the real present. This one is, worthy of a handsome and important man and my great friend. I’m so glad you enjoyed it. Just don’t wear it in public.”

“Why is that?”

“It’s the brand* that is mostly associated with me, the global media made sure of it. I’m their big client as I like giving their presents to my friends. I just don’t want the media to make a direct connection between this gift and me.”

“Got it, I’ll just wear it in closed club meetings. Only in closed meetings.”

“Deal, Donnie. I have to go now. But again, I’m glad the bullet missed you. You are one lucky president, Donnie.”

“Tell me about it, Vlad. If it had not been for the Secret Service, I could have ended up as JFK or Lincoln. Oh, maybe I should use that line now in my rallies, JFK or Lincoln.”

“You definitely should, Donnie. Bye.”

“Bye, Vlad.”

*Note: People should pay attention to what kind of wrist watches Trump wears. If they spot a Patek Phillippe in a gold case, it might be a gift from Putin.