Everyone was born as x

Today, I was reading this book—What You Are Looking For Is in the Library by a Japanese author. I was putting it back on my shelf and thinking about how so many people online had said it was excellent. They called it a book for self-improvement, for feeling better, for rediscovering yourself. So of course, I wanted to read it.

But... the first few pages weren’t exactly captivating.

Still, I’m going to keep reading. And that got me wondering: why?

Why do we keep reading something when it doesn’t interest us at the start?

I remembered another series: The Cruel Prince. I thought it was incredibly boring at first. But then I picked it up again after some time, and realized it was actually amazing. So what changed? Why did I go back? Why do we keep going, even when something doesn’t immediately spark joy or interest?

And I think I found the answer: other people’s judgment.

Why We Stick With Books We Don’t Love (Yet)

Let’s talk about book recommendations. How do we even come across a book title in the first place? Usually, it’s someone else telling us. A friend. A librarian. A BookTok creator. A blog. Someone says, "This book is life-changing," and suddenly, it’s on your shelf.

So when you start reading it and it’s… meh—you still keep going. Why?

Because you don’t want to feel left out. Everyone else is saying it’s amazing, and you want to feel that too. You trust the judgment of others more than your own first impression.

And maybe you don’t want to disappoint the friend who recommended it.

Or maybe you just believe the “wow” moment will come eventually, because it came for them.

So you keep reading.

Are Any of Our Choices Actually Ours?

The more I thought about it, the more I started wondering: how many of the things we do are based on our own judgment? Or are they just inherited from other people?

Think about it: if no one ever recommended a book to you, or told you it was good, would you even know it existed? Would you read it at all? Probably not.

And even the people who recommend books—how did they hear about it? From someone else.

So it becomes a chain of judgment: someone’s opinion based on someone else’s opinion, based on someone else’s.

So is anything we do actually our own choice? Or are we just following a long, tangled thread of other people’s beliefs?

We Were All Born as “X”

Everyone is born the same. In math, we always use the letter “X” for something unknown. I like to think we all start as X—pure, undefined, potential.

But over time, we become A, B, C, D… all different letters, shaped by our families, our schools, our friends, our culture. We grow into identities, but those identities are built—by everything and everyone around us.

If that’s the case, then are our beliefs and biases really ours? Or just a patchwork of everything we’ve absorbed?

A Thought About Racism

Just as an example: racism.

If influence wasn’t a thing—if a child was born and never heard a racist joke from their parents, or never absorbed stereotypes from media or teachers—would that child grow up racist? I don’t think so.

Because to a child, skin is just skin. A person is just a person.

It’s what they hear from the people around them that turns skin into something more than it is.

So racism, like any other judgment, is inherited.

Passed down like a toxic family tradition.

And if we weren’t influenced—if we were truly raised in isolation with no outside judgment—maybe racism wouldn’t exist at all.

So… Is This Good or Bad?

The more I think about it, the more it freaks me out.

If every belief, every judgment, every decision we make is shaped by others…

Is anything really ours?

Even something simple—like buying a popular bag from a trendy brand. Do we genuinely like it? Or did the internet, our friends, society put the idea in our heads that it’s pretty, so now we want it?

And if that’s true, are we really living life for ourselves? Or just acting out the beliefs of beliefs of beliefs—stacked like dominoes from people who came before us?

Final Thought

I don’t know the answer.

Maybe it’s impossible to grow up without being influenced.

But maybe questioning what we've been taught—that’s the first step to finding something real.

Maybe our truest self isn't the one untouched by the world.

Maybe it's the version of us that learns to see through it—and still chooses anyway.