Dear Author
When a friend loses your number.
Today I read a Dear Abby column that really bugged me. It was about a woman whose best friend of thirty years abruptly stopped speaking to her because of differing political beliefs. They supported opposing parties, and her friend ended their relationship over it. The writer was hurt, but she hoped that there would be a way to work things out. When the friend had a grandchild, she wrote her a text congratulating her. Her friend responded with a "Who's this?" Our writer was ravaged and wrote the Dear Abby letter, and Abby's response was rather lacking.
Abby told her to keep the door open to the friendship, but not to expect anything, and to no longer reach out to her friend.
I don't know how Abby managed to fail so totally. It's like she doesn't have a smartphone.
The friend replied, "Who's this?" because she had deleted the writer's phone number. She honestly didn't know who was texting. That's why our writer got a "Who's this?"
Personally, I think it's a positive sign that she didn't block our writer altogether. She may have deleted the number during a rage quit moment, but the fact that she wasn't so angry that she blocked the number shows that her friend was leaving the door open.
Except Abby didn't see it this way.
Also, I think our girl's ex-friend is a pretty good person to fess up and give a reason for the end of the friendship, rather than just going silent and ghosting. At the very least, our girl has closure for why the relationship ended. She's unsatisfied with the reason, but she was given a reason instead of just silence. Someone who is that up front is a good person to have as a friend. Sometimes, when people write to Abby about ended relationships, you can't pick up on any reason at all why the writer wants to retain this person's friendship.
Now, let's talk about the differences in politics. There are some questions that the writer of the letter might want to ask themselves. She says in her letter that she 'voted wrong' in the last election, according to her friend.
1. How does your friend even know how you voted? It's private, but the answer leads us to our second question.
2. How much do you talk about politics? If it's a lot, then that might be a bigger obstacle to friendship than the author was acknowledging in their letter. If someone talks about politics endlessly, if they have differing views, YES, it could get oppressive.
Thinking of it that way changes the dynamic of the story very suddenly. Rather than arguing about a variety of differing political views, the friend chose to say, "I'd rather not participate in this, but have fun since talking about this is your favorite thing. I'm out." It's exhausting to have to stand up for what you believe every 30 seconds with people who are supposed to be your friends.
3. How much does your friend talk about politics? (This might not be on our writer.)
It also swings the other way. If your friend is on a mission to prove her political point and you won't give it to her, she might want to surround herself with people who agree with her (and her favorite topic). As I said before, it's exhausting to have to argue your point every 30 seconds. It's much nicer just to be surrounded by people who think the same way without you having to convince them.
4. How much of your time spent with your friend was centered on conversations about politics?
I have friends who have differing views than I do on a variety of subjects. It's fine. I respect their views; they don't shove them down my throat, and vice versa. But if one of these people can't stop themselves from going on a verbal rampage about the last thing they saw on the news, then yes, these girls have a problem.
It's a hurtful problem... and yet... one of the biggest keys to friendship is how you choose to spend your time and how your friend chooses to spend their time. They have to align. Otherwise, you're loving people from a distance and not sharing your life with them. Your life is made up of time.
Meaning that if you want to keep the friendship, you have to own up to the truth. If you're the one blabbing about politics constantly, you might be able to restore the friendship by stopping doing that and proving to your friend through small and simple things that you can control your tongue. If your friend is the one who can't shut up about it, then the whole situation might be out of your control.
But there is one thing that is within your control - the ability to make new friends. It's possible. And it might be something all of us need to do, whether we have a solid friendship group or not. Let people have their moods. Learn to have so many friends that you can go anywhere because a stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet.
Sometimes I really disagree with Abby.
About the Creator
Stephanie Van Orman
I write novels like I am part-printer, part book factory, and a little girl running away with a balloon. I'm here as an experiment and I'm unsure if this is a place where I can fit in. We'll see.
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AI Book Covers
This is the cover for the Teardrop Edition audiobook for my novel, If I Tie U Down. One morning, I woke up with this brilliant idea. I decided that I should have two editions for all my books. The first edition is the first edition. It has been made with a cover that I paid for. Usually, it's from at least one artist. Sometimes, I have an artist for the background and another artist for the foreground. Sometimes, it's AI, but it's an expensive AI generation that I paid for on an individual basis. But on this one morning, I woke up and decided that I was going to list my first edition books for $1.99 for an ebook. and $2.99 for an audiobook. The Teardrop Editions would be free (or as free as I could make them) and the cover images would be generated with Canva AI.
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Iran’s Dual Challenge: Unrest at Home, Threat of Strikes From Abroad
Iran is facing one of the most complex and dangerous moments in its modern history. On one front, the country is grappling with growing unrest at home—driven by economic hardship, political dissatisfaction, and social tensions. On the other, it confronts the looming possibility of military strikes from abroad, fueled by regional rivalries, nuclear concerns, and escalating geopolitical pressure. Together, these internal and external challenges are testing the resilience of Iran’s leadership and reshaping the country’s future. Rising Discontent Within Iran Domestic unrest in Iran has been steadily building over recent years. High inflation, unemployment, currency devaluation, and sanctions-induced shortages have placed immense pressure on ordinary citizens. Many Iranians, especially younger generations, feel disconnected from political decision-making and frustrated by limited economic opportunities. Public protests—sometimes sparked by fuel prices, sometimes by social restrictions—have become more frequent. While many demonstrations begin with economic grievances, they often evolve into broader expressions of political dissatisfaction. Social media, despite heavy regulation, continues to amplify dissent and connect voices across cities and regions. The Iranian government has responded with a mix of economic promises, security measures, and controlled reforms. However, critics argue that these responses treat symptoms rather than underlying causes. As living conditions remain strained, the risk of further unrest persists, making internal stability a growing concern for Tehran. Economic Pressure as a Catalyst Sanctions remain a central factor in Iran’s internal struggles. Restrictions on oil exports, banking systems, and international trade have severely limited state revenue. While Iran has sought alternative trade routes and partnerships—particularly with China and regional allies—these efforts have not fully offset the damage. The economic squeeze has weakened public trust and increased inequality. Middle-class households have shrunk, while lower-income families struggle to afford basic necessities. For many Iranians, economic frustration has become inseparable from political dissatisfaction, deepening the sense of crisis at home. External Threats and Regional Tensions At the same time, Iran faces growing pressure from abroad. Tensions with the United States, Israel, and some Gulf nations remain high, largely centered on Iran’s nuclear program and regional influence. Western and regional powers fear that Iran’s nuclear capabilities could cross a critical threshold, triggering instability across the Middle East. Israel, in particular, has repeatedly stated that it will not allow Iran to develop nuclear weapons, raising the possibility of targeted military strikes. Meanwhile, U.S. military presence in the region serves as both a deterrent and a source of tension. Iran’s support for allied groups across Lebanon, Syria, Iraq, and Yemen further complicates the geopolitical landscape. These external threats force Iran to remain on high alert, diverting resources toward defense and security at a time when economic relief is desperately needed. A Dangerous Intersection of Pressures What makes Iran’s situation especially volatile is the intersection of domestic unrest and external threat. Historically, governments under foreign pressure sometimes rely on nationalism to strengthen internal unity. However, prolonged economic hardship limits the effectiveness of this strategy. If military strikes were to occur, they could temporarily rally public support—but they could also worsen economic conditions and inflame existing frustrations. Conversely, internal instability may encourage foreign adversaries to perceive Iran as vulnerable, increasing the risk of confrontation. This delicate balance creates a strategic dilemma for Iranian leaders: how to project strength abroad while preventing further fractures at home. Diplomatic Paths and Strategic Calculations Despite tensions, diplomacy remains a potential pressure valve. Negotiations over Iran’s nuclear program, though stalled, have not fully collapsed. Some regional powers are also exploring cautious engagement with Tehran to reduce the risk of conflict. Iran, for its part, seeks to position itself as resilient and indispensable to regional stability. However, meaningful diplomatic breakthroughs require compromises that could be politically risky for the leadership, particularly amid domestic dissatisfaction. 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By Fiazahmedbrohi 5 days ago in The Swamp
Comments (3)
I've also disagreed with Dear Abby in the past, and her sister Ann Landers. The original writers of those columns are both long-dead, but the advice they give is usually about the same, and sometimes wrong. Sometimes she places more faith in authority figures than they would deserve, since they're sometimes the problem. In this case, you're right. A lot can be going on with the situation, and the problem could be the letter writer or the ex-friend. Like you, I have friends who differ from me on a lot of issues. I don't tell them how I voted, because I'm not interested in their BS. I'm so dead-center in what I believe that my friends of either party either assume I agree with them, or they just don't know, and I like it that way.
This is a really insightful breakdown of the whole Dear Abby situation, especially your analysis of the "Who's this?" text. You bring up some great points about communication and political boundaries in friendship. Congratulations on your Top Story!
Thank you for sharing. A lot to think about. I have severed contacts with some people because of their lack of morals, but I know good people with different political views.