9 Amazing Advantages of Not Voting

It's 1 month to the American election, the most crucial election ever!

However, if you do not live in a swing state, and/or you need to prioritize your overall physical or metal health, there might be a few advantages in joining me sitting this one out, and letting other people decide who will be the ruler of the known universe.

(If you often use the expression 'civic duty', stop reading now, and blow off some steam by typing important reasons to vote in the comment section.)

Improved Health

Last week, I sat waiting at the clinic for my test results. The couch was lined with anxious looking people doomscrolling to distract themselves from the certainty of high cholesterol, high blood sugar, and high blood pressure. I couldn’t see their screens, but they were undoubtedly perusing the election news.

Not me.

“You have the lowest blood pressure of anyone I’ve seen today,” the doctor said, glancing at my test results. His eyes searched mine for answers. “Do you exercise?”

“I type on a keyboard, if that’s considered exercise.”

He peered at me dubiously over his glasses. “You follow a special diet?”

“More of a fast, actually.”

I wanted to explain that I avoid political news, but talking about politics can cause arguments.

The doctor may have seen too many cardiac arrests in his exam room to bring up the Election, so for the rest of my exam, in between the medical questions, we talked about sports.

Growing Your Social Circle

The country is divided into 3 groups of people:

• 33% Republicans
• 33% Democrats
• 33% Bad People Who Don’t Care About Politics

Guess which group talks to everyone else?

It’s not that being a bad person makes you a better conversationalist.

It’s more a matter of having a front-yard free of conversational landmines, that makes you more approachable.

Improved Long-Term Planning

A few days ago, I obtained a mortgage for a starter home in Milwaukee.

I’ve grown more confident to plan ahead, as I don’t need to worry about leaving the country (or moving to a new state), if the wrong candidate wins.

Improved mental well-being

My nagging insomnia issues have diminished, and I sleep more deeply, content in the knowledge that I can continue to live in Milwaukee, with either candidate winning on November 5th.

I’ve gotten off social media.

For reasons I don’t fully understand, not contributing my insightful, thought-provoking opinions throughout the day to Twitter, about the latest mass shooting, has lowered my General Anxiety levels about gun violence.

I don’t need to sprint to my car across the parking lot of the Walmart on Washington Avenue if I hear a loud noise.

And, I’m drinking more coffee to stay on edge. We know how much the media enjoys telling us coffee (and red wine) is good for us.

Becoming More Attractive

Even though I have never voted, I used to identify as a Democrat. This regularly brought sneers from more established party members.

“What have you done to support the party? Are you in any grassroots organizations? And, what are your positions on the ISSUES?”

They would usually mention a trending social justice issue.

“Me, done anything? Not really. And, I don’t really have any opinion on the topic you just brought up.”

“Well then, you aren’t a real liberal.”

“Then, what am I?”

Their faces couldn’t mask their disappointment, and the fact I’ve been moved to an “out-group” inside their minds.

Now, I declare as undecided, I’m wooed like the Bachelor.

“I don’t really know much about politics, and I haven’t decided who to vote for.”

“Ohh. We have a LOT to talk about.”

Enhanced Immunity

If you don’t vote, you catch fewer colds and flus.

There’s a reason they call it “campaign fatigue” and “election fever”.

Increased Empathy

Instead of seeing political candidates as divine leaders sent from heaven to save the country (or, if you are an atheist, having been anointed by the Dalai Lama),

You might see them as human, with human flaws and imperfections.

People with the same type of personality as those that ran for high school class president, hungry for attention, because they weren’t good at anything else.

More Free Time

I’m not only talking about the 2 hours you spend voting at your local high school or community center.

I’m talking about freeing yourself from the emotional stress of following the daily news cycle, and watching uninteresting people fight like cats and dogs (and about cats and dogs).

Instead, you should spend your time studying the classics of arts and literature, learning the thoughts of great minds, instead of learning about who called who a two-syllable bad name last week.

Less Jury Duty

Juror names are drawn from voter registration lists in most districts.

Not voting in Presidential Elections signals you might not be a good person to choose between guilty or not-guilty, after spending weeks sitting in a jurors box.

Who am I to question this logic?

**

Disclaimer: this is purely my own personal opinion, and a work of satire. Keep on believin' and keep on voting, if you think that’s what's best.