The Factual History of Bitcoin's Origin

Bitcoin: the Cryptocurrency that changed the way the world viewed currency.

Little is known of the real origins of the first popularized cryptocurrency. The creator, or creators, used a pseudonym when first drafting Bitcoin's creation, concealing their identity from the public eye for over a decade. Likely, the reasoning behind the secrecy likely comes from how Bitcoin has been used in the past- by miners and thieves for illegal gambling and investments. However, the question is, who were the creators, and did they know how their currency would be used?

The answers? No, and they were aliens.

Now, if this were a theory, dear readers, one would be compelled to call it bogus. However, this accusation of extraterrestrials is no mere theory- it is solid, substantial fact. The reason no one can find the proof to back up this factual history of Bitcoin’s origin is because the extraterrestrials have done well in hiding not only their existence from the human race, but also because they have so done well at integrating into human society that the human race cannot see the difference between themselves and the extraterrestrials.

I know, reader, you might be wondering how I have come across this information when the extraterrestrials have so clearly concealed their existence from the rest of humanity. I must reply to your suspicions with an answer for if I do not, you would never believe me. The reason?

I, myself, am one of the creators of Bitcoin. We used the name Satoshi Nakamoto in order to conceal ourselves further while still indicating the creator of the Cryptocurrency to be of great intellect. In reality, we, the race I hail from, are called the Bitlings. Our currency is, indeed, called Bitcoin, and we deemed Earth to be ready for our method of currency.

We were sorely mistaken, as can be understood from looking at the kind of humans who utilize our currency the most often on Earth. Our currency is used for nothing more than illegal acts like gambling and theft. When we decided to release our currency for humankind, we hoped to bring prosperity and hope to the people of this world, allowing for more people to gain wealth and the economy to allow everyone an equal chance at gaining money and the benefits that came with it.

We, the heads of the Bitling Bank of Currency (English translation), decided the human race to finally be ready for a foreign currency in the Earth year 2009. The ruling body for all worlds holding intelligent life, the Galactic Federation, much to our distaste, was not pleased with our decision and, upon the release of Bitcoin on Earth, began hunting down our people. One by one, my people, colleagues, and our families were imprisoned and slaughtered for our decision. I am only one of two of the creators of Bitcoin remaining in the universe due to the disapproval of the Galactic Federation.

Additionally, the human race misused and abused our sacred currency. This misuse has put me and the only other remaining member of the Bitling Bank Staff in grave danger, at risk of a fate worse than death. We had believed the human race to be ready for extraterrestrial intervention, but we were wrong, and for that mistake, we will forever be in danger, in fear, and running for our lives.

Dear reader, I hope one day the Galactic Federation will come to realize why we did it. I hope one day humankind will be more forgiving, more full of the hope and wealth we wished to share. I hope to, one day, live a life as free as I once did- before Bitcoin was ever released to humankind.