Why Narcissists Turn Your Criticism Against You

Unfortunately, you won’t get a narcissist to see where they are wrong, because of many different factors. One main factor is that they have no sense of self-reflection. Self-reflection means to observe and analyze oneself in order to grow or change as an individual. This is not the case for someone who has NPD narcissistic personality disorder, because they have convinced themselves that there is no need to grow or change. Self-reflection refers to in-depth awareness of cognitive, emotional, and behavioral aspects that governs one’s life, and a narcissist’s personality disorder governs their entire life.

Self-awareness if also the process of mirroring and assessing yourself consciously, and those with narcissistic personality disorder subconsciously mirror and assess your life, thoughts, feelings, emotions, and actions. These toxic individuals create a false sense of connection with another person by mimicking their thoughts, feelings, interests, or behaviors. This is done as part of their abusive patterns to establish a rapport and build an unhealthy connection with you. With that being said anything that you try to bring to their attention or correct their behavior will result in wasted energy on your part.

Another factor would be that you can’t get someone to see where they are wrong if they don’t feel or think that they are wrong due to their deficiency of empathy, and lack of self-reflection. For the most part they struggle with accountability and will easily redirect the issue onto you. Trying to get them to see where they are wrong or at fault is a losing battle, and not worth your time or energy even if you have concrete evidence. You’re dealing with someone who is driven by grandiosity, arrogance, ignorance, power, and control. Narcissists have a very strong false sense of superiority, which makes anything that you try to bring to their attention invalid or having no value to them when it is coming from you. So, whatever the issue maybe that you wish to address will only be turn around onto you so fast to show you all that is wrong with you. This is why it is not even worth addressing their problems to get them to understand what is wrong. They know what is wrong, and they will find joy-excitement watching you try to challenge them or change them. It is a game for them when they see their victims attempting to display their wrong behavior, because this sends the message that they have you exactly where they want you to be.

The key take away is that healthy people who are self-reflective are aware of themselves, and they actually know themselves much better than anyone else. This is the opposite for someone who is a narcissist, because they’re too occupied manipulating, abusing, and using others. They spend most of their time and energy observing and reflecting on their victims’ vulnerabilities as a way to get their needs met. It is important to work on yourself, know your self-worth, and do not waste any more time/energy on trying to get someone to see where they are wrong. Their problems belong to them not you! May you know the signs, may you not remain a victim, and may you do whatever you can to protect your mental-emotional health.