Why I Have to Get Rid Of False Expectations

A fulfilled life is an effect of successive complete and fulfilled days. Therefore, I must outline and plan the day properly to have a productive day.

The many things I need in the right place are expectations for (positive) completion of plans and objectives. These are expectations we impose on ourselves but also very often imposed on us by others.

It is worth mentioning that, although truthful expectations help produce positive results, wrong expectations limit the fulfillment of any ambition.

Also, realistic or unrealistic, just as true or false (wrong or too high), are subjective. Meaning this is or may be different for each person.

Expectations have had a significant bearing on how much I have accomplished. They have been the core of my belief and trust that things will happen as expected.

Some pretty common expectations and why I needed to stop them.

• Everyone must like me;
• The world is, or must be, fair;
• Always being in the driving seat- in control and knowing what will happen next;
• You may not make mistakes;
• You must live the life that others expect/want you to live;
• You always have to continue, no matter what.

These are a few of my list that made me take up a level of control I didn’t have in given circumstances, leading to multiple failures and disappointments. On top, it created many doubts and lots of anxiety.

------

Withholding me the chance to learn from others because I was on top of things, and yet I was not.

Disappointments make the heart sick. False expectations when fully mature breed disappointments, which sicken the heart. Such emotions are never good for anything.

False hopes are a heavy load on my shoulder. It doesn’t matter if they’re personal or about others; they’re heavy to carry. So I wanted to tone them down because they place an unrealistic demand on myself, colleagues, etc.

Further, they cause some preconceived blueprint of how things should be without considering others. As a result, people develop an “if-then” syndrome which dictates how things should be done.

Holding on to my expectations obstructed me from pursuing what matters most in life. For example, those who imposed the expectation on me to NEVER make a mistake; resulted in me not daring to take many risks in life. If you can not take risks, stepping out and pursuing what you care for is impossible.

False expectations were always foundations for loss because they set other people and me up for disappointment. The truth is that there is no life without expectations. However, I’m trying to keep onto realistic and measurable ones.

What is true is that I cannot please everyone, nor can I make everyone like me. I have been that naïve in trying to make that happen. It can not.

Also, to even start wishing I could control all the aspects of my world to ensure things function consistently in the most harmonious way is like fighting a tornado. Honestly, I think it is like a hurricane that consumes you and spits you wherever it likes.

------

The world cannot be fair, and I can only control this much. The rest is about accepting and moving on.

During adolescence, I’ve seen many adults struggling. At least, that’s how I interpreted how one’s behavior changed slowly but steadily over time. I noticed the same pattern in my family at a certain point.

People became unhappy and unsatisfied. I’ve seen frustration, sadness, hopelessness, anger, and regret. Some became depressed; others burned out. Some got divorced, and others lost their job. People seemed to fade away.

BUT

The same people appeared back on stage, more grounded, stronger, and with a more realistic view instead of an ideological one. Some changed vast parts of their lives, aspects of their behavior, and their way of thinking.

They developed beliefs, motivations, etc., that genuinely suit and act towards them.

------

Well, wrong expectations almost made a stiff naked person out of me. I was becoming rigid to the opinions and inputs of others. I couldn’t leave room for change in situations or let others have a go at some matters.

I realized it’s crucial to stop my unrealistic hopes thoughtfully and with seriousness to eliminate them. They are a menace and very harmful.

‘My journey has just begun, but I’m confident I’ll be able to figure this out too. So I hope to come back with that which can assist me and others’

~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading until the end