When talking to others, say less of these three things about yourself and your blessings will increase

There's a question online: what's the biggest social disaster?

One highly-liked answer hit the nail on the head:

Being shallow, exposing yourself to others;

There's no measure, using your privacy for the longevity of your relationship.

In the adult world, friendships come and go quickly.

If you tell your secrets to the wind, don't blame the wind for blowing them all over the forest.

When people get too close to each other, conflicts come and eventually consume the relationship.

When people talk too much to each other, there is more right and wrong, and they will eventually go their separate ways.

In interpersonal communication, if the relationship is good, don't disclose these 3 secrets, or else woe betide you.

Don't repeat painful experiences

Adam Smith mentions this in The Theory of Moral Sentiments:

No one in this world can really empathize with another person's hurt.

You are pierced by a thousand arrows, you are in pain, and it is only you.

When you live to a certain age you will realize that the world is really like this.

Life is a drama, isolation is the norm.

Laughing, the whole world laughs with you;

If you cry, you cry alone.

You can't ask others to understand your difficulties, and you can't expect everyone to understand your pain.

As cruel as it may be, this is the reality.

It's like that heartbreaking story:

A little monkey was scratched by a branch while foraging for food, and the wound bled profusely.

But instead of recuperating properly, it kept showing its wound to others for comfort.

Some people expressed their heartache when they saw it, while others just found it laughable.

In this way, when it met a person, it opened its wound once.

Over time, the already scabbed wound was repeatedly opened, and not only was it difficult to heal, but it also almost lost its life due to infection.

Writer Mo Yan has it right:

Don't think that everyone in the world cares about you.

Do you think everyone is watching you?

In fact, everyone has their own troubles and no one cares about your business.

Stop telling people about your pain because 20% of them don't care and maybe 80% of them are looking at you funny.

Every time you bring up something that has already been settled, it just adds to the sadness.

Human sadness and joy are not connected, the most difficult days can only survive alone, the past painful experience only self-healing.

It is better to count on others than to rely on oneself; it is better to wait for help than to look for a way out.

The most transparent way of living in a person's life, as Sanmao once wrote:

The heart of how, like ten thousand feet of lost, across a thousand miles, in which there is no boat can ferry people.

In addition to self ferrying, others love can not help.

Don't flaunt your privileged living conditions.

What is the most terrible aspect of human nature?

Some say it's jealousy.

An insightful story is told in Malice:

Nonomuchi Shu and Hidaka grew up as classmates and close friends.

They lived on the same street, and when they were in school, Noguchi Shu was often bullied by bullies, while Hidaka always watched over him.

After graduating from middle school, the two men went their separate ways to turn their lives around and never crossed paths again.

Many years pass and the two reunite, with Hidaka growing up to become a famous writer, but Nonomoguchi Shu is having a less than stellar time.

Noguchi Shu was informed of Hidaka's recent situation.

Hatred takes root in his heart, and he can't hide his jealousy and resentment despite the fact that Hidaka helped him find a new job.

While he accepts Hidaka's help with peace of mind, he begins to plot and eventually kills Hidaka.

At the end of the story, Keigo Higashino speaks the mind of those who are jealous:

I just hate you, I hate you for realizing my ideal before me, I hate you for your superior life, and I hate myself for my cowardice, for my lack of luck and talent.

I hate myself for not being lucky or talented enough. I give you all the hate I have for myself, and I use it all to hate you.

Not being able to see that people are better off is the most horrible part of human nature and cannot be changed.

Can't see the people around you living better than yourself, is the bottomless malice, can't be avoided.

Ancient saying "a gentleman is not guilty, but a man is guilty" is exactly this truth.

Psychologists have shown that:

People tend not to be jealous of people who have nothing to do with themselves, but easy to be jealous of the people they know.

Sometimes, inadvertently show off, in addition to bring trouble to themselves, and not a little good.

Always believe in one point of view:

No one really wants you to have a good life.

Except your parents and relatives, and very few friends.

The number of people in the world who are happy because you are doing well will always be very small.

For many more people, inquiring about you is just to make sure you are doing worse than they are.

Keeping your wealth to yourself and keeping a low profile is the best way to preserve yourself.

Don't go around announcing results that aren't certain.

Thinking twice before doing anything is the topmost self-discipline of an adult.

I've seen too many people who have ruined their lives because of a quick word of mouth.

Because of the completion of the project, there are rumors that he is going to be promoted to a higher salary, before the company has issued a notice, he began to smugly proclaim around, the result of the promotion is another colleague.

In the eyes of everyone, he instantly became a joke, and was labeled as "taking himself too seriously".

After hearing about a friend's family's private affairs, he immediately made it a topic of gossip and told it to others, and eventually the rumors flew around, and people accused him of being ungenerous.

A relative's child needs to go to school to find a relationship, he immediately promised to help do it, but the result is to find all the people can not help, and finally in the eyes of the family became the most unreliable one.

Zhou Guoping describes a mode of getting along in A Quiet Place:

Sometimes I prefer to spend time with people who don't like to talk than people who talk incessantly and eloquently.

That kind of "do not have to listen to nonsense, not to mention do not have to force themselves to speak nonsense" feeling, soothing.

With people, the appropriate silence, appropriate shut up, in their own, are the most comfortable state.

Some words, said others do not necessarily understand; some things, said others are not willing to listen.

The secret of oneself, can keep, is called a secret, in order to be able to finish this life with peace of mind.

If you are comfortable with your own life, you can finish this journey in peace!