What the hell is an Empath?

Empath.

We've all seen or heard that word somewhere. Most would never think to look any further into it, writing it off as some overused e-girl term.

During my junior year of high school, I started following this guy, Javaughn Young-White, on Twitter. I remember he was always tweeting about spiritual growth and life, and he was clearly incredibly emotionally intelligent (also incredibly hot). At one point he tweeted about the struggles of being an empath, and I just remember thinking, “What the hell is that??”

I had no idea what that meant, but if Javaughn knew about it, I knew it MUST be something cool. Naturally, I spent the next 2 hours researching the hell out of it.

Everything that I started reading shocked me. I felt like the people writing about this whole empath thing were talking specifically about me, like they were taking notes on the parts of my brain I kept hidden from everyone else. I was hooked, fascinated by this crazy phenomenon that apparently still perplexes psychologists, a phenomenon that made my life make sense. I started to have hope that, in discovering this secret world, I might just be able to unlock some secrets about myself.

For those of you who don’t know what an Empath is-- and especially for those of you who might be one-- I want to try and explain everything that I learned about them.

The first thing you’ll want to understand is the difference between sympathy and empathy. According to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, sympathy is having pity or compassion for someone else who is experiencing something really rough, like a friend going through a breakup. Empathy takes that compassion one step further to include vicariously experiencing another's emotions-- literally feeling what they're feeling.

According to psychiatrist and self-proclaimed empath Judith Orloff, who wrote the book, “The Empath’s Survival Guide”, empaths are people who fall on the high end of the empathic spectrum, allowing them to take on the emotions and feelings of those around them without needing to have shared the same experience. This extreme level of empathy applies to both positive and negative emotions, leading many Empaths to see it as both a blessing and a curse. For those that are unaware of their sensitivity, the constant, unintentional absorption of other people's negative emotions-- including stress, anxiety, and grief-- can be incredibly exhausting.

Characteristics of Empaths:

1. Empaths are extremely intuitive or good at reading the emotions of others.

Many unaware empaths might joke around about having psychic tendencies due to their being extremely in-tune with the energy around them. They are not easily lied to, and can usually sense when someone might be trying to hide things from them. Even when they write off their feelings as paranoia, they almost always turn out to be right.

2. They possess natural healing energy.

People frequently go to empaths for personal advice and emotional support-- often spilling their whole life story right off the bat-- and while they are consoled with the notion that they are able to help people, taking on the feelings and trauma of others can be extremely exhausting.

3. Most Empaths are introverts.

Their sensitivity to the emotions of others means that engaging with both big and small social groups for extended periods of time can be tiring. This is also due to the fact that empaths have a higher sensitivity to dopamine--the happiness chemical that is produced in your brain. Because of this, they need less dopamine than others in order to feel happy, and too much dopamine exposure for too long (ex: being at a big party with lots of pumped up people) can leave them feeling like they have adrenal fatigue.

4. Empaths are extremely compassionate.

Because they absorb/take on the feelings of others, they are more likely to be involved in the service or healing of others. They usually find joy in helping others because it not only relieves both parties from feelings of suffering, but also because of the dopamine high that comes from being surrounded by gratitude. They are often drawn to careers in healthcare or social services, such as nurses, social workers, veterinarians, and psychologists.

5. Empaths are extremely sensitive to feelings of suffering.

They experience intense emotions more than others while watching sad movies or videos in which someone is being physically harmed. For empaths, it goes beyond crying during a tragic death scene in a movie-- they often feel like the death happened to someone they knew personally, and their brain might actually send them through an expedited process of grief, which they can experience both physically and mentally.

6. Empaths are usually non-confrontational.

This is because they dread causing hurt, guilt, or stress to anyone else. They’re often bad at saying ‘no’ to personal or work-related commitments, and typically feel like they don't have enough time for themselves because they are constantly giving their time to others.

7. Unaware empaths experience constant mood swings, which are often misdiagnosed as a mental health disorder.

Their emotions can change in an instant depending on their environment, and although it may seem like they are overly-emotional, they're really just experiencing an overwhelming influx of different emotions.

The Science

More recently, psychologists have dug into the science behind empaths, trying to explain the traits of highly sensitive people. Part of it has to do with something called the mirror neuron system, which is the part of your brain that is responsible for compassion. They discovered that empaths have hyper-sensitive mirror neurons, leading them to feel rather than observe the emotions of others. In her book, Judith Orloff also talks about mirror-touch synesthesia, in which the brain connects two different senses, such as taste and smell. Examples of mirror-touch synesthesia can be plainly demonstrated in the ability of many people to know what a certain food tastes like just by smelling it. In an empath’s brain, the connection between internal and external emotional energies is made, and they are able to experience the feelings of others just by being near to them.

Self-Care for Empaths

Because of their extreme sensitivity, it’s really important for empaths to look after their mental wellbeing. Knowing what causes your mood swings is a crucial first step. Once you can pinpoint what things or environments affect you negatively, you can figure out a plan for daily decompression. If after reading this you find that you possess empathic tendencies, there are many things you can do to alleviate stress and anxiety.

Allow quiet time at the end of the day to clear your mind of the emotions and thoughts of other people, as well as your own negative thoughts. Many experienced empaths suggest doing this at the end of the day rather than in the morning to avoid creating space for worry and stress about what the day ahead might hold. Engage in things like reading, journaling, guided meditations, yoga, and listening to music during your down-time.

It’s also very important to limit your accessibility to the negative people in your life. Although it may be hard to distance yourself from someone that you’ve been close with for a long time, you should not be expected to be their constant emotional backboard. Try letting them know that you want to start surrounding yourself with more positivity. Divert the conversation to something more light-hearted when they steer towards gossip. Learn your limits, and get better at saying ‘no’ when you’re feeling overcommitted.

Most empaths have no clue about the amazing abilities they possess, and until they do, they will struggle with anxiety and exhaustion. Many go through their whole life taking on the emotions of others and feeling responsible for the healing of every person on Earth, without a single clue that most people don’t have to deal with this. Once you learn more about yourself and your own needs, it'll be easier to remove unhealthy people from your life.

If you've finished reading this article and got to thinking that you might be an Empath, congratulations! Although it's been described as a blessing and a curse, the curse part tends to go away the more you learn how to better preserve and protect your energy field. There are many other articles you can read if you want to know more about empaths, some of which I’ve included below.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-empaths-survival-guide/201703/the-science-behind-empathy-and-empaths

https://thoughtcatalog.com/bianca-sparacino/2018/05/empaths-everything-you-need-to-know-about-this-personality-type/