What the FBI’s Lead Hostage Negotiator Taught Me About B2C Sales

This is another essay in a series aimed at sharing the knowledge and insights gained from my time with Chris Voss at the 2025 Success Summit in Beverly Hills, CA.

It’s easy to fall in love with your own mission statement.

It’s even easier to think your customers will, too.

I learned the hard way that after a crisis, nobody cares about your purpose...

At least not at first.

When I sat across from Chris Voss (yes, the FBI’s former lead hostage negotiator) I thought I had the perfect framing for my business.

I asked him how to connect my company’s mission to people rebuilding after wildfires.

I wanted to show empathy, purpose, and big-picture vision.

He stopped me in my tracks.

“What do you think they’re thinking about when you walk up to their property after a fire?”

I answered confidently: They’re thinking, ‘This guy’s here to save us.’

Chris didn’t miss a beat.

“No. They’re thinking: Here comes another contractor ready to gouge me, because he figures I just got a whole bunch of insurance money and he knows I need to rebuild.”

That one hit me like a bucket of cold water.

The Myth of Mission

Every entrepreneur is told to “lead with purpose.”

Investors want it.

Marketing consultants repeat it.

LinkedIn celebrates it.

But Chris exposed a truth most of us don’t want to face: when your customer has just survived a disaster, they don’t care about your purpose.

They care about survival.

They care about not being exploited.

They care about whether they can trust you when they’re most vulnerable.

In other words: your mission matters, but only after you’ve proven you’re not a predator.

Crisis Customers Are Hostages

It sounds harsh, but think about it:

Their homes are damaged.

Their families are displaced.

Their budgets are controlled by insurance adjusters.

Their timeline isn’t optional, it’s forced on them.

That’s the exact kind of pressure a hostage negotiator understands.

People in crisis don’t want inspiration.

They want to know you’re not going to make their pain worse.

Chris taught me to flip the frame.

Don’t show up preaching about your noble mission.

Show up ready to demonstrate credibility, reliability, and empathy in action- not words.

The Sales Trap Most Contractors Fall Into

In post-disaster industries like mine, the pattern is predictable.

Contractors swarm like vultures.

They knock on doors the day after the fire, clipboards in hand.

They lead with opportunism.

They sell fear, urgency, and “limited supply” tactics.

They reinforce the worst expectation.

Homeowners conclude every contractor is the same: one more person here to bleed them dry.

The irony? Many of those contractors also have a mission.

They believe in helping communities.

But because they lead with the wrong message at the wrong time, they never earn the trust to show it.

What Chris Voss Made Me See

Chris’s lesson reframed my entire approach.

If I want to be seen as different, I can’t just say I’m different.

I need to disarm the expectation that I’m here to exploit.

That means:

• Shoot straight: Label the negative emotions and ideas to diffuse them.
• Listening before selling: Let the customer vent their fears without trying to fix them immediately.
• Transparency first: Lay out costs, contracts, and bonds in plain language.

Only once those barriers are down can my mission to protect families and communities with fire-resistant fences actually resonate.

The Bigger Lesson for Any Sales Professional

Whether you’re selling fences after wildfires, software after a cyberattack, or insurance after a health scare, the principle is the same:

Your mission matters to you.

Their fear matters to them.

Meet them where they are.

Don’t skip ahead.

Don’t assume your purpose automatically inspires trust.

The paradox is that when you don’t lead with your mission, but instead prove you understand their suspicion, you eventually earn the chance to share your mission.

And when you share it at the right moment, it finally sticks.

From Hostage Negotiation to Home Reconstruction

I walked into that conversation with Chris Voss thinking my story would inspire people to buy.

I walked out realizing: the story that matters most isn’t mine- it’s theirs.

That shift is the difference between being another contractor with a sales pitch and being the one they trust to rebuild their life.

That’s what the FBI’s lead hostage negotiator taught me about B2C sales after a disaster.