Useful psychological knowledge

1. There are various reasons for anger. Here I want to list one of the anger that is often misunderstood by everyone: whenever you see someone angry, you subconsciously think that person has a bad temper and a terrible personality.

But in fact, the party whose emotions are out of control is accompanied by sadness and fear. They feel that the outside world is hurt, and fear makes them prick up their defense. Next time you meet an angry person, or you can look at the other person from a different angle, it's an injured person.

Whenever we have disputes and contradictions with others, we can focus on the sadness behind anger. When you are aware of yourself or the other party, this awareness will ease the atmosphere. Look behind the anger, what do both sides feel offended? Hurt what? What are the needs?

2. What's worse than suffering from negative events is that we haven't made room in our hearts to allow ourselves to accommodate anxiety, sadness, frustration, loss, worry, pain, anxiety, etc.

Either take criticism and repression, how can I be frustrated and afraid as a man; Either hide and deny, obviously hurt but dare not reveal, do not face. But the mood is always there. Emotions do not disappear by criticizing, repressing, avoiding, or covering up. It needs to be well recognized, seen and understood before we can really let go.

When we are willing to understand in detail what kind of thoughts, opinions and thoughts we actually form this emotion, we won't be trapped in it, and we can get more freedom and motivation: we can see some desires behind the emotion, focus on doing something new, and meet it in another way.

3. Spend 30 minutes a day focusing on your heart. We can explore: "what characteristics do I want to have, what can cause my happiness, what I am most interested in, what I am avoiding, what I am ashamed of, how I hope to treat others, what can satisfy me, and what can I do to enhance my sense of value?"

You are a person who spends 24 hours with your feelings, thoughts and emotions. You should be your most familiar and closest friend. And when you take the trouble to face up to and perceive yourself, this is a manifestation of loving yourself.

Some tips for deepening self understanding: ① free association. Write your own diary and send voice to yourself. Write what you have in mind, which may be a little fleeting and unpleasant, in a safe atmosphere, unrestrained, without considering logic, without criticizing good or bad, so that your ideas can be displayed. There is a premise for you to become the master of emotions. You should first realize, capture and perceive.

② Write a story. Carefully record your own experience, trace back to the past, and get along with others. The more details, the better, the more feelings, the better. In the process of recording, you will experience that your past life is endowed with a sense of meaning, and you also gain feelings from it, and express your emotions at the same time, which is no longer so depressing.

③ Talk to someone you trust, talk to a reliable psychologist, and so on. Religion, meditation and psychology all point in the same direction, allowing people to return to their hearts.

Knowing yourself has another advantage. When you are willing to know yourself patiently, you are usually willing to know others patiently.

4. We all know that having a good mood will make us act better, but action can also arouse good mood in turn.

When you walk with your head up and your chest up, your mind will adjust to be a more confident person. If you exercise three times a week, your mind will default that you are an energetic person. You have learned new knowledge and completed a difficult task in a month, and your thinking will adjust accordingly and you will think that you are a capable person.

If you are a person with poor execution and action, it may be caused by these reasons: ① you put too much pressure on yourself. Then the smaller the amount of completion set for each thing, the better. It can be completed without spending any willpower, but there is no upper limit in the implementation process. Specific example: only do 5 push ups a day, complete. Eh, it's in good condition, so you can make dozens more. The goal is not to give up halfway because the goal is too big, but to maintain a continuous action process.

② Afraid of failure, afraid of setbacks, think that if you fail once and make a mistake once, the consequences will be very loss of self-worth. At this time, you can look at yourself from the perspective of an outsider. Imagine that if a friend has this nervous and worrying idea, you may find that there are rigid and rigorous assumptions, and you will also find that others do not pay so much attention to you, and when you realize it, you will eliminate the irrationality.

③ Before you do it, you conclude that you must not be able to do it. If you can't do it, don't try it at all. This is related to negative beliefs caused by growing up experience. We can remind ourselves more, review what successful things we have done in the past, although it is difficult, but it has also been completed, and refute the idea in our mind with practical examples. Tell yourself to try again. The most effective way must be to shape another possibility through action again. Instead of blindly believing in the voice of the past.