How to resolve the psychological trauma people suffered when they were young?

Ⅰ. What is the psychological trauma of childhood and why it will affect people's later life?

To clarify the word "trauma" here, I think the main "trauma" should refer to the traumatic experience or events experienced by individuals in psychoanalysis when they were young. This should be different from PTSD's "trauma", because in a strict sense, this cannot be confused. Although some visitors' "trauma" experience may have the meaning of PTSD, the opposite cannot be established. Therefore, the psychological trauma of childhood here is the traumatic experience and events experienced in childhood, such as "individuals cannot feel the love of their parents when they are young, which leads to difficulties in dealing with intimate relationships after adulthood" "Individuals are always indifferent and neglected by their parents or family members in childhood, and there is not enough affirmation and praise. The low self-esteem and low efficiency of individuals after adulthood affect their normal personal life or make individuals feel that they need to change." of course, such a situation cannot be ruled out. "Individuals have witnessed the death of their elders in their families and have a fear of death", etc. Please forgive me for my inability to make a qualitative definition. I can only outline it through description. If anyone can give a more concise definition, please correct me.

In psychoanalysis, we also have our own cognition of individual psychological development. In classical psychoanalysis, psychological development is divided into five stages: oral period, anal period, sexual organ period, incubation period, and genitalia. During the five stages, if there is a transition problem in any stage, there will be "fixation", for example, the original sexual force of infants in the "oral stage" is concentrated in the mouth; By sucking, chewing, swallowing, biting and other oral interactions, you can get pleasure and satisfaction. If babies in oral period are satisfied with these oral activities, they will have a positive oral character, such as optimism, when they grow up. On the contrary, the retention of oral desire will form a negative oral character (oral dependence), such as excessive seeking dependence, pessimism, withdrawal, suspicion, demanding and other negative oral characters; Even in behavior, there will be nail biting, smoking addiction, alcoholism, gluttony and so on. The problem of "fixation" and "retention" in the fifth period can also be placed in the problem of the subject. Although this does not seem to be a traumatic event or experience, it is also a kind of "trauma" and a bad experience for individuals at that time.

Of course, the actual situation is that many problems are intertwined and occur at the same time.

So what impact will these have on individuals? The retention of "oral period" will have an impact, and always being criticized and criticized by parents in childhood will also have an impact on personality, such as low self-esteem and a sense of inefficiency, and then there will be inferiority complex and self-confidence in personality. Another example is that children are always beaten and scolded by their parents, and the solution strategies adopted for others' mistakes may also be more intense after adulthood. Another example is that when children are in an unstable family, parents always quarrel or even fight, then individuals who grow up in the future will also have similar behaviors when dealing with intimate relationships. In fact, the biggest impact of childhood traumatic experience or events on us now is "how will we look at the past" and "how will we use past experience to judge the present and future?" "How will we treat ourselves, and what kind of attitude will we have towards the past?" and so on. If we stop at "why was it like this in the past, what would it be like if it wasn't like this in the past", we will fall into a relatively negative situation of problem-solving.

Ⅱ. How to resolve and the attitude we should hold under relative circumstances.

In fact, consultants with different consulting styles will adopt different methods to solve such problems.

Psychodynamic psychotherapists will slowly let the client present this problem in the consultation, and then the client will slowly show his interpersonal interaction mode in the consultation relationship, and will also reflect his personality structure mode. When the client repeats the past and produces empathy, the practice will slowly begin, Then, in the process of communicating with the consultant, let the client experience his own change and replace the old model with the current model (of course, acceptance is also a kind of cure, just like the joke of "peeing your pants").

The focus short-range meeting suggests individuals to find their own energy, to find that the problems that perplex them have begun to be solved, and through the search for exceptions, individuals can find that things are far from as bad as they think. Through miraculous inquiry, visitors can find their motivation to change and jump out of the original problems to look forward to the future.

Psychodrama and empty chair technology can sometimes improve the impact of past trauma on yourself. But the method is only a framework, which needs to be filled in by different methods for different individuals. The main question is not explained in detail, so the attitude here can answer this question better than how to solve it:

1. Must we resolve it? In fact, sometimes in a consultation, the counselor finds that the psychological trauma of the client may exist, and not all of them have to choose to uncover it and find ways to resolve it, because it is meaningless to carry out some trauma in advance before it is solved at the right time. Similarly, if we find some of our problems in these aspects in life, there is no need to cling to them. We have to accept our past self and want a "perfect" self. Sometimes it is not impossible to "abandon the treatment". Sometimes accepting yourself will bring greater benefits than solving the problem.

2. For the trauma of childhood, after we recognize this problem and affect our lives, we can either find professional help or accept our own "past and imperfection". But please don't take the "trauma" as an excuse for you to refuse to grow up, "no way, I had a shadow when I was a child..." "I can't change it, I must have a shadow in my childhood." this is not a conclusion, but an excuse for rejection. In the final analysis, I'm still refusing to accept myself and admit my anger about past experience In fact, the attitude of rejection shows that the influence of individuals on past experience has always existed. When we try to control the difficult and painful past, we almost repeat the psychological needs of the past. So on the surface, the individual repeats the psychological needs of the past and shows uncooperative for changing and accepting the past. So, don't talk about it, don't be an excuse, it won't do any good, and it will stop you from thinking more about the problem.

3. This is a thing in your past, which is not as absolute and terrible as some "books" say. Establish a clear boundary of my own. I know that it is the past. What I need to pay more attention to is the present and the future. I live in the present. For the past, I should learn to distinguish my mood and emotional experience at that time (with the help of professionals, it is the best).

Ⅲ. summary

Even if the trees still grow as before, the river still flows in the same direction, and people's lives are still the same as before, nothing remains the same