Toxic Traits Unhealed People Are Unable To Recognize Within Themselves.

Have you ever engaged in a connection with someone who enters into it with preconceived notions towards you, based off of their own self-limiting beliefs?

Keep in mind: When people carry self-limiting beliefs about themselves, they are quick to stereotype and pin projections on the people who surround them and interact with them. In fact, they may be the first to spread rumors about people with the intention of ruining reputations.

Why? "Misery loves company." and if they can't make others miserable with them, they resort to tactics that "impact" others' lives through negative actions. They will do the most if it means they can obtain some type of "win" over people. As stated in; "A Beautiful Beginning After an Ugly Ending."

This Would be considered a toxic trait among the list of traits a narcissist may conduct.

Here's the thing:

Ever dealt with bullies in school?

In "Psychology of Personality" it is said that when children bully other kids at school, they are generally targeting traits within those other kids that they don't like about themselves.

After thoughtful reflection of this theory, I took it a step further. It isn't that they see these traits within the other kids, it is that because they dislike these traits in themselves, they project outwardly.

For example, "A classic textbook description is of the father who has a bad day at work but takes out his mood by kicking the dog when he gets home." "Projection theory"

While I haven't ever been a fan of using textbook examples, I mean, what for? life alone creates examples that we can pull from... I'll use it here.

Can you depict the cycle that occurs there?

Ever heard the term, "Hurt people hurt people." Let's take this thought further. "Healed people heal people." It truly depends on what side of that coin you want to be on. As you choose. Remember this, "Karma comes everyone. No matter what side of it you're sitting on. We all receive it.

Life happens to all of us. Whether one heals from it or chooses to victimize themselves, determines how one will treat others in their lives. they then act outwardly. The jealousy and envy that occurs though...

I mean... If they can't bring people down, 'Who else is going to sit around with them and listen to their never-ending woe as me antics.

Ever heard a rumor about someone you know and felt taken aback by it because you knew that person to be a different way? Maybe you heard the rumor and believed it because you didn't know the person it was about, so why else not believe it right? Maybe you don't know the person and start looking into them because of all the "tea" just to find out the person who spoke upon their name was lying?

Rumor: Those are actually the hidden and dirty secrets of those who start them. If you really took a moment to think about it, you'd wonder, how does a rumor starter think of these ideas in the first place? Unless they've already done these things and experienced those experiences themselves.

You realize true color in everyone always shines the brightest.

Rumors don't hurt people. They reveal something dark... deep about the beholder. So real that yes, they'll go as far as to target their own lifestyle by putting someone's else's name on it. Hoping broken and jaded mask doesn't fall off.

Toxic people: Tend to criticize a person's character without actually getting to know the person genuinely. When they are feeling low, they need the people around them to feel lower, that way they can feel like are in a higher position than their "friends". In other words, "The only way they can feel successful is by dimming everyone else's sparkle."

Let's double take that last statement. As stated in https://shopping-feedback.today/confessions/a-beautiful-beginning-after-an-ugly-ending

Oftentimes, these behaviors can be considered a form of narcissist behavior.

New Aged Communication: Have you ever gotten a text from someone and before the conversation even takes off, they're already jumping into a negative frequency with you by their second text in? Making demands but getting upset because in that very moment you're not hop skipping and jumping to their will? Suddenly by the third text they've kicked into full force argument mode by telling you how they feel like you're doing them dirty for bending? Treating them some type of way? Without realizing that the insecurities that they Are projecting unto you are revealing their true colors towards you... They resort to telling you how you're doing something wrong. Have you tried to stand up for yourself? Set a firm boundary about the behavior? but after you spoke your piece civilly, they come back at you with "I don't know why your gaslighting but see there goes more stuff about you that's wrong with you." Suddenly, you're standing or even sitting there scratching your head as you take a moment to reflect.

What they are currently doing is not a reflection of you but their own character. They can argue with you all day and night, for days on end but at the ends of the day, that is their personal problem. Not yours.

In my opinion, "If you don't come correct, don't come at all."

If that boundary gets dismissed, disrespected or gaslighted don't expect me to continue engaging. If you persist in the argument by bringing others into it, don't expect me to have respect for you.

Harsh Psychology Facts 101: If your knowledge/studies/interactions of psychology are minimal, don't' start going around throwing labels you don't have true knowledge about... around at people.

Here is why

The term gaslighting isn't to be taken lightly. Gaslighting is manipulative tactic used to convince your target that they are crazy for thinking what they are expressing and speaking on. Other manipulative tactics are, convincing other people of falsehoods regarding intended target. This helps the person wearing the mask... keep their mask on longer.

See the "Gaslight theory"

My suggestion, before using the terms. Understand them. One doesn't want to be out and about spreading misinformation.

Expressing boundaries, is exactly what it is. laying down the foundation to healthy boundaries and communication through interaction.

If you express your boundaries to someone and they don't respect them, recognize that as a red flag within that person. Not yourself.

Consider the ideology: This person may be lacking self-awareness and may also be projecting their issues from their personal interactions and circumstances in their life on you. Lumping you into an argument they've probably been having with someone else (a partner, ex, family member, relative, Etc.) all day.

"Don't sweat the small thing. Recognize the red flags." - Consciously Me