They Can Find Me

Do you know how easy it is for anyone to find you nowadays? I recently found this out the hard way when my abusive step-mother showed up at my front door. She should not have known my address. I have not had anything to do with her for five years at this point. I have moved three times to three different cities since cutting contact with that whole part of the family. None of my social media (all of which are private) have my address or even the city. Sites I use to job hunt only list the city. I cut out every single person that has any contact with this woman, even my sister, none of them are on any of my socials so no person could have provided her with my address. Before this, I was already highly paranoid that she would find me, similar vehicles or persons would send me into a panic attack and set me even more on edge for days.

I can't set foot out of my apartment without scouring the parking lot. If I had money, I would move. I have a baby now. Which means I am terrified that she will try to get to them. She is the type of person who would physically harm you or say horrendous things to you and then turn around and give an apology along the lines of "I'm sorry you made me to that to you." She also showed blatant favoritism of her biological offspring and their children. She is not someone I want anywhere near my child. And this person has shown they can find me wherever I go. I will never be free of the fear I have surrounding this woman because she is always lurking in the shadows in my subconscious.

Even having to prove my identity involves this woman. I typically get asked every time if I am related to her since she legally adopted me when I was six or seven. I want to be able to not to deal with this person ever again. I want to be able to take my kid to the park and not feel the need to look over my shoulder to make sure there is no one around who would tell her where I am. She is the only reason I would want to get married to my partner (neither of us few it as something we need to do) outside of loving them, of course, so I would get to change my name legally and not have to worry about her showing up anymore. I know I could change my name legally without getting married, the last names I would go with she would be able to guess.

I have gone through so many sites and requested the removal of my information from the public view that it is just ridiculous. I can not believe how easy it is to find someone with just their name and minimal knowledge of their life. Why is such sensitive information public knowledge? Why is our place of residence no longer viewed as private information? I want to feel safe in my own home. I want to one day buy a house where my kid can play outside without me having to worry about someone I don't want near my home just showing up and talking to my kid without me present. I fear that the only real way we will be able to accomplish this is by moving to another country. We are already thinking about this just because it could mean better opportunities for my partner for jobs and life in general. Having to count in that it would also get me away from toxic people who have made and continue to make my life a living hell is just absurd. Hopefully, one day, I will no longer feel the need to double or triple check my surroundings or be made to feel paranoid that she or one of her minions will show up at my place of employment and I can begin enjoying my life.