THE SYSTEM FAILED ME

I NEVER HAD A EASY LIFE .BEING MOLESTED AS A CHILD ,JOINED A GANG. Losing a child when i was a child myself. I WAS PUSHED TO GROW UP FAST . SO BEING BEAT BY MY FIRST BOYFRIEND IN HIGH SCHOOL I THOUGHT WAS NORMAL SINCE I SEEN MY MOM AND SISTER GO THROUGH IT. SO I THOUGHT HEY ITS LIFE , I HAD NO REASON TO ARGUE THE SITUATION UNTIL I WAS TIRED OF THE SAME KIND FACES LOOKING AT ME AS I ENTERED THE GROCERY STORE WITH BLACKEYES AND BRUISES ON MY FACE DID IT OCCUR TO ME THAT MAYBE I WAS PUTTING UP WITH WAY TO MUCH AND I DESERVED A BETTER LIFE . I KINDA LOST THAT FEELING WHEN I BURIED MY DAUGHTER . I DIDNT CARE ABOUT MYSELF SO WHY CARE WHAT THEY DID TO ME .I SOON REALIZED THAT IF MY DAUGHTER WERE ALIVE WOULD I HAVE WANTED HER TO SEE ME THAT WAY.. AND JUST LIKE THAT I WOKE UP.I WENT TO SCHOOL AND EARNED A DIPLOMA AND A COUPLE DEGREES . I MET A OLDER MAN ONE WITH SO MUCH EXPERIENCE IN LIFE THAT I WAS BLINED BY THE CONIVING WAYS HE HAD BRAIN WASHED ME WITH TELLING ME HE LOVED ME AND PUSHING ME TO BE A BETTER ME BECAUSE IF I WERE BETTER HE WAS LIVING BETTER. HE HAD NO SCHOOLING OTHER THAN PRISON. HE WAS STREET SMART TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ME . ISOLATING ME FROM FAMILY AND FRIENDS. ALL WHILE I WORKED TO PROVIDE AND HE LAYED UP WITH ANOTHER FEMALE UNTIL IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO COME HOME..HIS MIND WASNT ALL THERE AT TIMES . LOVING ME ONE MINUTE HATING ME THE NEXT. I REMEMBER TIMES WHEN HE WAS SO UPSET HE WOULD THROW ALL MY STUFF OUT THE HOUSE LIKE I WERE TRASH.. THIS HAPPEND FOR YEARS BY THEN I PURCHASED A HOUSE . DESPITE WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE IT WAS MINE I WORKED FOR IT. I FIXED IT . BUT I LOVED HIM AND HE LOVED ME SO HE SAID AND ONCE AGAIN I BELIEVED HIM .PUTTING HIS NAME ON THE DEED BECAUSE I THOUGHT WE WERE FOREVER . THAT CHANGED ONCE THE HOUSE WAS OURS . HE CHANGED . AT THAT POINT I WAS SO TIRED OF WORKING SO HARD TO BE DONE SO WRONG I FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE. I DECIDED TO PURCHASE ANOTHER HOME AND WE WOULD RENT OUT THAT ONE TO PAY FOR THIS ONE. AND IT HAPPEND AGAIN I GOT HOMETO FIND ONLY MY STUFF SITTING OUTSIDE. HAVING TO PULL MY SOFAS AND BED THROUGH THE ENTRANCE WAS PRETTY DIFFICULT FOR ONE PERSON. HE DECIDED ON HIS OWN TO STAY IN THE HOUSE PAID OFF. AND LEAVE ME WITH THE BURDEN OF HAVING TO PAY EVERYTHING ALONE.. I WAS SO LOST AND HURT FOR DAYS ALL I DID WAS CRY I HAD NO CHOICE I HAD NO TV NO RADIO JUST MY SOFAS AND SOME CLOTHES. AFTER ABOUT TWO MONTHS I RAN INTO A GUY I KNEW FROM BACK IN THE DAY .. WE HUNG OUT HE MADE ME SMILE AND FOR A SHORT MINUTE I FORGOT ALL ABOUT HIM. SOON HE FOUND OUT AND BECAME VERY ANGRY HE STARTED STALKING ME CALLING MY PHONE ABOUT A HUNDRED TIMES A DAY. TELLING PEOPLE I HAD HIV, I WAS PREGNANT AND I LEFT HIM, CALLING MY JOB TRYING TO GET ME FIRED.. HE THEN STARTED COMING TO THE HOUSE KEYING MY CAR CUTTING MY TIRES AND SOON AFTER BEATING ME AT A GROCERY STORE PARKING LOT.. FEARING FOR MY LIFE I GOT A PROTECTIVE ORDER IN PLACE. BUT THAT DIDNT HELP NONE . HE VIOLATED MORE THAN TWELVE TIMES AND NOTHING EVER HAPPEND UNTIL HE BEAT ON ANOTHER FEMALE. THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY FOR THAT CASE CALLED ME IN TO TESTIFY TO HELP THAT CASE SAID I WOULD BE PROTECTED I DINT HAVE TO SEE HIM OR HIM SEE ME . BUT GUESS WHAT HE DID SEE ME AND I WASNT EVEN ALLOWED TO TESTIFY , SO HOW COULD THEY JUST PLAY WITHN MY LIFE LIKE THAT.HOW CAN THE CRIMINAL GET AWAY WITH EVERYTHING AND I GET PUNISHED FOR BEING SCARED.. HE GOT AWAY WITH EVERYTHING TILL THIS DAY HE LIVES RENT FREE WHILE I STRUGGLE . HE SEEMED TO HAVE WON IN MY EYES. HE PAYS NO RENT HAS HORSES A NWE CADILLAC AND A DULLY TRUCK ALL WHILE I STUGGLE. I PAYED FOR THAT HOUSE CASH I WORKED 9 MONTHS TWO SHIFTS IN A NURSING HOMETO SAVE UP THE MONEY FOR THAT HOUSE AND I CANT EVEN WALK INSIDE IT.. NO ONE HAS HELPED ME ,NO ONE CARES .. HOW CAN THE SYSTEM BE THERE FOR THE ABUSERS AND THE VICTIMS .WHO CARES