The Struggles of Being an Introvert in an Extroverted World

Being an introvert in an extroverted world is so draining. Sometime I wish I were an extrovert who, in lively gatherings, speaks openly and makes friends with people he has just met. To people, extroverts seem to find it easy to move through life, starting in public conversations in public places, getting themselves into spontaneous arguments or having fun with friends in crowded places. All this behaviour baffles me and is overwhelming.

Being an introvert, I am not against people at all. I like my circle to be small and intimate — just a couple of close friends or family members. Whenever that circle becomes too large, I need to withdraw into silence. In my head, that’s where I solve all the tricky problems, ponder on some big questions of life, and conjure up entire worlds that exist only in my imagination. But that too has a flip side: I am not very open with people; when I care for them, I do not have the strength to open my heart to them. The very thought of confronting their problems or vulnerabilities makes me drained even before going about it.

Sometimes, extroverts can be extremely annoying. Take public transport for example. They will join a bus with phones blaring TikToks or Instagram reels just as if everyone wants to hear their entertainment. I just don’t understand why they don’t see the rudeness in that. It’s one of the many little things that make life as an introvert more difficult than it should be.

I have missed hundreds of opportunities because I am an introvert. I never visited the school canteen when I was in school. Actually, the idea of moving through a crowd petrified me. It was not that I did not want to be part of those social experiences, but it was because the anxiety of having too many people around kept me away. Gradually, my avoiding social spaces led to a growing loneliness. Mostly, I never went out of my house much, hid myself from creating many friendships, and before I knew, my mental and physical health started deteriorating.

Loneliness is one of the hardest things about my journey as an introvert. It’s like a double-edged sword-you do not want too many people around you yet hate being lonely in turn. My body paid for the isolation as well. That is why I gained weight-for I didn’t exercise at all because I was too anxious to go to the gym, where strangers filled the space. The thought of going to the gym paralysed me. I attempted to work out at home, and that also just made me feel lonely, casting deeper shadows on my isolation.

Some people claim to be introverts but seem to navigate the world so easily. They go to the gym, nicely talk to strangers, and mingle without batting an eyelid. It sets me thinking that there’s something wrong with me. Maybe I am not just an introvert but there’s something majorly wrong with me. Especially when the family get-to-gather or during any social function. If I enter a crowded room, I feel the urge to leave the place before all hell breaks loose. My energy is drained, my body feels fatigued, and I need to escape to the comfort of my home, where solitude feels safe.

It’s a humorous contradiction: I feel a need for intimacy, but am afraid of it. I yearn to belong, but not at the expense of my serenity. In itself, society has reached the wrong conclusion about introverts, as so many tend to define us as shy and anti-social. That is not so with many of us. We tend to thrive in smaller, quieter settings. We value deeper relationships, rather than superficial ones. This can indeed sometimes make it challenging for an extroverted world, which celebrates loud and bold.

What I realized, however, is that being an introvert does not need fixing. It’s different; it’s a new way of reaching out to the world, and perhaps, there lies its strengths and weaknesses. He or she should just go there to learn and accept himself or herself as who they are and never apologize for who they are. And slowly, this is what I’m learning.